About Abortion

I don't know if it is allowed to talk about this at cucumis.

but I am called by the Nature to do so.

My love, my wife, told me that she aborted twice before she met me. She told me not to look backwards, let us look forward.

But when I am alone, and she is not at my side, I will think again and again, on her abortions.

I got from medical experts that abortions might cause infertility, and at least, the future baby will be weak if its mother had experience of abortion before its birth.

I don't know why the life is so cruel to me.

I hate abortions!

Don't worry too much about this. It's useless to anticipate the problems, because very often, all the bad things you fear to happen, will never happen.

I am sorry, jp.

I pray for god, He might help me.

Today, when my wife was outside in another city to spend the Spring Festival, I did not trust her, and inquired her alumni about her past story in univerisity. She got to know.

And she told me we were over.

Our relation was said to be over by her.

I want to die, if she discarded me.

I want her back with me.

I love her.

My God, please forgive me and save me.

Because you opened this discussion, let me tell you something. First of all abortion and infertillity don't go always together. Depends on many factors. Women can have problems in getting children even though they have never had an abortion.

Second, what other choice would have she had? If I remember well, you said that your society marginalize children born outside marriages. Would have been better if some innocent children were born and become a kind of pariah? Ending thrown in one of those horrible and famous orfelinates of yours, where maybe 5% of them have the chance of a wealthy foreigner who doesn't give a damn on social status of the child in China and pays a lot of money to adopt that child (what a convieninent form of selling humans, by the way!!) and the rest maybe survive long enough to become some scarred adults?

Come on, she has a past. So what? You declare she is the "love of your life". I don't believe it. When you love somebody, you forget and forgive. And most of all, you don't use the past against the person you suppose to love. Jealousy is not a manifestation of love, more of possesiveness and stupid pride. When you love someone, you trust that person till the end, you don't go behind running checks and inquiries.

There is a Romanian saying: "The death is not coming back from the grave". You'll not manage anything else except destroying (if you have not done that already) what you have.

You wanted an opinion, this is mine, even you'll believe it is cruel. But I cannot agree with you, just to make you feel better.

Are you kidding, you' ve just married her, it can't be over so quickly ??

Hello Pluiepoco. I was on my way to give my opinion too about this subject, but have just read what iepuraca has said and I agree completely with her.
Moreover do you think that a woman having been in the obligation to have an abort feels good about it? You can be sure, she doesn't and she won't forget it her whole life through, but there can be circumstances when a woman can't do anything else.
So, the only thing to do for you is trying to get her back ans to respect her. I really hope you'll be able too, because I would like you to be happy, but I would like your wife to be happy too........

Thanks all, I am trying to calling her back!

We are not married yet, but I call her my wife. It is such a case.

What Iepurica said astonished me. I must agree with you. I did the wrong things to show love. It was not love, it is jealousy, possession, I bet I will not ask for her past if she would come back to me.

She replied me today that she would come back to Beijing tomorrow.

So I plan to receive her at the busstation tomorrow. At that time I will kneel down before the gate of station, with a bundle of flowers and a wedding finger-ring, as well as a board indicating I love her and want that she could forgive me.

Is that okay?

I will do that tomorrow, without foods or rest.

Yes, Pluiepoco . Waiting at the bus station with a bunch of flowers , and especially beg her pardon, is the only thing to do. Wish you good luck.
Hugs.

She forgave me and we are together again!

I bought wedding rings for her.

We will marry!

So happy for you, Pluiepoco. Be cautios from now and remember , the most important is the person she's inside herself. Wish you much happiness.

I'm so happy too for you pluiepoco. And never forget that women are always right .

Thank you all!
I believe it is a miracle that she comes back to me. We exchanged our names pluiepoco and pluiepoca in our couple of rings.

So, happy for you that you've solved your problem!

Is it the stupid "virgin complex" working on many men in China that's working on you?

My bf told me that he's once made a girl pregnant and she had to go through an abortion. I must say that I do feel jealous about that, but I've never used the fact against him. Really, she told you she had abortions because she trusted you completely. So don't turn her trust and love into a joke.

I don't agree with you. I'm sorry. In my opinion the abortion is the murder. It may sound horrible, but I wouldn't like to live with a murderer! I could forgive but no create family with that person any more. Every bad action, especially murder, exerts an influence on our future life even in next generations. Effects of it can be inherited as diseases and inclinations. It's a big risk to enter into a deeper relationship with a person incriminated in this way.

Come on! It seems we're not living in the same century. Haven't you ever heard about women's rights?

In France it has been hard to fight against reactionary and religious lobbies that still wanted people to remain like they were in the middle ages. When a woman does not want a child, has a sexual relationship with someone else and gets accidentaly pregnant, she's got the right to keep the child, or to have an abortion. This is legal now, a lot of women have been fighting for this right. Let's don't fall back in the obscurantist period when women were slaves to the men (and to the whole society).

The Low is the low, but the life is the life and we can't avoid consequences of our errors. The war is also accepted in our world, but it doesn't mean that is good and neutral for us. My theory has basis in a science, not only in religion. There is connected with researches under hypnosis...

What do you call "the low"?

The law, I'm sorry ;-)

kind of a lapsus, uh?

Well, I've got to go, it would have been interesting to discuss the topic, but I'm unfortunately on my way to work. Schüss!