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Vertaling - she was not like this (Engels)

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15 december 2010 14:44  

Lein
Aantal berichten: 3389
Hi again Çevirmen

- In the third line, is the double negative deliberate? Or should it be one of these options?

She can never ever be like this
or
she cannot ever be like this

- In the fourth line, is 'feel' like an order? Or does 'I' or 'she' feel it?

- these are meaningless - do you mean 'this' (what has happened) is meaningless?

- she is not this - this doesn't sound very natural. How about: she is not like this, or this is not her ?

Otherwise, nice translation!
 

15 december 2010 21:48  

Çevirmen
Aantal berichten: 59
hey Lein,
as you know better than me, it is always much more difficult to translate poems or songs into different language, this one is a good example=) In the comment area, the person who posted this wrote lots of explanations about the source text, some this are refer to the lady who he loves of heart, some refers to the just lady. That's why, I just simply translate this as it is. When it comes to translation,

-in the third line,
he emphasized, she cannot be like this, she was not, she is not and she will not.. when thinks these, your first suggestions fits better 'she can never ever be like this'.

-in the fourth line, it is like an order as you said. feel it.

-these are meaningless, what I mentioned until this are meaningless.

- In Turkish language, like is 'gibi', if he said, 'o bunun GÄ°BÄ° olamaz' your suggestion would be, but he said 'o bu olamaz', when it is translated literally, she is not this but if you edit it as 'she is not like this' the text would not spell backward.

Thanks for everything..
 

16 december 2010 11:39  

Lein
Aantal berichten: 3389
Yes, poetic language can be very tricky, I think you did a great job! 'she is not this' I changed into 'this is not her'. Another possibility I can think of would be 'this is not who (or what) she is' but that sounds a bit too long to fit in wiith the rest of the text. Let me know if you don't agree! Meanwhile I'll set a poll
 

16 december 2010 15:54  

merdogan
Aantal berichten: 3769
Hi Çevirmen,

Please read "Remarks about the translation".
"O" is not always "she". Sometimes it is the heart. For example;

Line 2 "she knows this."...> Your heart knows this

according to Remarks.
 

16 december 2010 15:28  

lilian canale
Aantal berichten: 14972
Shouldn't every line start with caps?
 

16 december 2010 15:55  

merdogan
Aantal berichten: 3769
Yes it should.
 

17 december 2010 03:45  

Çevirmen
Aantal berichten: 59
The second line of the poem(or whatever) should be
"his heart knows this" as merdogan said before.

Thanks merdogan again, you are a life saver=)
 

17 december 2010 13:27  

Lein
Aantal berichten: 3389
'your heart', 'her heart' or 'his heart'?
 

18 december 2010 15:26  

merdogan
Aantal berichten: 3769

according to Remarks.
She knows this…..> Your heart knows it
I cannot leave her alone...> I can’t leave her heart alone’
I will not leave her alone...> I will not leave her heart alone
They tell lies...> They lie



 

17 december 2010 23:38  

Bilge Ertan
Aantal berichten: 921
Hi!
Good work Çevirmen
I was wondering if it should be "tell the lie" or "tell a lie"?

 

18 december 2010 18:39  

Çevirmen
Aantal berichten: 59
Hi Lein, Merdogan and Bilge.

&Lein,
her heart, since it is written for a girl by a boy.

&Merdogan
when we look at source text, it is not specified as kalbin or kalbi, That's why, using 'it' is the best option here.

&Bilge
tell a lie = yalan söyledi(singular)
tell the lie = yalan söyledi (again singular but lie is known here)

Thanks..
 

22 december 2010 18:20  

Lein
Aantal berichten: 3389
I think I can almost accept the translation
I'm just not quite sure about a few things.

Merdogan said line 2 should read 'your heart knows this'. Çevirmen replied and said that Merdogan was right, but then said that it should be 'his heart knows this'. I asked which one it should be, but I think Çevirmen misunderstood and he replied it should be 'her heart' What should it really be?

The suggestions Merdogan made in his second post don't sound as good in English as your original translation. I think they are probably too literal and we should keep your translation.

As for 'the lie' or 'a lie', just looking at the English text, Bilge Ertan is right - in English, you can't really say 'the lie'. If it is clear for everyone what lie you are talking about, it could be 'this lie' or 'that lie'; normally, this would be 'a lie' (can't lie = can't tell a lie'. Is it ok if I change the -> a ? Sorry, it had escaped my attention earlier...
 

26 december 2010 17:17  

merdogan
Aantal berichten: 3769
Dear Lein,

If we look at source text, they are;
She knows this
I cannot leave her alone
I will not leave her alone

but according to Remarks they are ;

She knows this…..> Your heart knows it
I cannot leave her alone...> I can’t leave her heart alone
I will not leave her alone...> I will not leave her heart alone
Therefore I think to write this second part in the remarks field will be good.

 

5 januari 2011 17:12  

Lein
Aantal berichten: 3389
Hi Çevirmen

Could you help me out here please? Have a look at my last post and let me know what it should be. Thanks!
 

6 januari 2011 22:06  

handyy
Aantal berichten: 2118
The current translation is correct -except few mistakes. Yet, according to the remarks the requester made, the translation needs to be edited almost all over again.

Çevirmen, Merdogan is right, please be careful about the "remarks about the translation" field; it gives much more specific information about the way the translation should be made.
 

11 januari 2011 16:22  

Lein
Aantal berichten: 3389
Hmm. Çevirmen, as I can't read the remarks, could you have another look at this text please? One option would be to place a literal translation in the translation field (I think that is what you have done) and a translation based on the remarks in the remarks field. Is that possible?

Sorry this is taking so long!
 

19 januari 2011 11:33  

Lein
Aantal berichten: 3389
No reply
handyy, could you help? I think we have two options:
1. keep this translation and add an alternative translation in the comments field, explaining why the two are different;
or
2. put this translation in the comment field and add another one in the translation field, again explaining why.

Alternatively, I can reject the translation.
What would you say?
Thanks
 

19 januari 2011 14:22  

merdogan
Aantal berichten: 3769
I prefer first one.
please "CC" handy.
 

21 januari 2011 12:55  

Lein
Aantal berichten: 3389
Hi Bilge,

The translator and handyy are not replying
Could you help here? Have a look at the discussion above...

CC: Bilge Ertan
 

21 januari 2011 18:55  

Bilge Ertan
Aantal berichten: 921
Hi Lein
Oh, I accept that it is difficult for you, but keep cool Let's take a look at what SametOzdemir mentioned about the text.

1) He says that in the second line he means "Your heart knows this". But there's a confusing detail here, the text is not written by using you, it is talking about the third person singular. But we need to consider the comments so we'd better change this sentence like this : As your heart knows this I added "as" because "ya" means "as" here.

2) In fact this is "I can't leave her heart alone (because it is bleeming)" but I think it would be more meaningful if we don't change this part of the translation.

3) The same about the sentence I will not leave her alone,I think we shouldn't change this either.


Tell me if there's still something unclear.
 
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