Tercüme - Aspettando un appuntamento (İtalyanca)

"del grande dolore in un solo addio".
--> del dolore abbastanza in un solo addio?
-->dolore sufficiente in un solo addio?

Hi Aneta and brusurf!

Sorry for making you wait so much!
I would suggest some edits in the last two stanzas:

"E mi piace aspettare l'appuntamento
quello programmato per le dieci
per il nostro sacrosanto colloquio
su tutto e niente
poiché le parole sono come spine
e l’amore è amaro come la maledizione di Cupido

E anche se la mente ed il cuore
lottano tra loro
so che non possiamo essere feriti di più
c'è un grande dolore in un solo addio."

What do you think? Do you agree?

I agree with the all except for the last part that I would keep as it is!
'so che non possiamo essere feriti più
del grande dolore in un solo addio.'
It gives more the idea, in my opinion!
Bye

Since the source text is the Polish one, perhaps Aneta can explain better what she meant!

@Aneta, could you please have a look at the translation given by brusurf and the one given by me and tell us which one suits more your text? I know you speak Italian very well...

Hi Alex and brusurf,
Thank you for your work on the text,
This is another poem of mine. I'm not sure whether I can explain all expressions of the poem, because some of them are quite colloquial and that's hard to find English or Italian equivalents. I'm not sure if English and French translations(though already accepted) are absolutely right too.

For example:
1. The last line of the second verse:
"a miłość - jak franca - gorzka"
was translated:
"and love is bitter like Cupid's curse"

Meaning of "like Cupid's curse" (come la maledizione di Cupido) is likely close to Polish colloqial expression "jak franca", but not the best translation for sure.

A Polish colloquial word "franca" ("c" read like "c"[ts] in "ciao", not like "s" or "k" )is kinda derogatory term for a person - it's quite offensive. We, for instance, say: "zwykla franca z ciebie" which I'd translate: "a regular bitch of you"...(sic!), So maybe we'd rather should translate it: "and love is bitter like a bitch", though it seems to be too strong to me...

2. And I'm not sure of:
"c'è un grande dolore in un solo addio".

Writing "bólu aż nadto w jednym tylko rozstaniu" I meant that "there is pain ENOUGH in a sole parting" (in only one parting*). That's why I suggested this "ABBASTANZA"...

*parting--> when people leave each other.

I'd ask for another look at the English and French translation of these two lines.

Hi Lilly and Francky,
could you help us, pls?



CC: Francky5591 lilian canale

I edited "Cupid's curse" with "la malédiction de Cupidon", as the French versions for "bitch" are quite harsh.

Lene translated with "juron" which rather means "swear" than "curse" , this is why I just edited with "malédiction"(I didn't notice it three years ago)

But the thing is that "Cupido" was inserted into the line in English tranlation and it is now translated this way into all the languages: French and Italian. Meanwhile the Polish "jak franca" has nothing to do with the God of Love... (English "like Cupid's curse" was only a loose translation based on so-called "licentia poetica", but it shouldn't be translated literally into other languages. We schould have found a proper equivalent separately for all the languages...

Aye, the issue is more complex than I expected!

Any translation of "bitch" in Italian sounds very rough... The least rough word I can think of is "sgualdrina", but that is completely out of tune with the rest of your poem.

@Brusurf? What do you suggest?

We don't have to translate it "a bitch", Alex.
We just need to keep the meaning of the Polish line, in the way which would sound natural for Italian people.
I was just agaist translating the "Cupid's curse" directly from English version, cause it was a solution for that specific language (and only an interpretation). I belive there are other solutions which are better for French and for Italian.
The meaning of the line is: the love is EXTREMELY bitter (so that makes your heart suffer a lot).

How would you express it in Italian?
What would follow the adjective "amaro" if you wanted to express figuratively how terrible the bitternes is... What associations have you got in your mind? "Amaro come..."???

You know, some people would say that "something is cold like ice", somebody else would say "someting is cold like earth". All languages have their individual unique comparisons ...

Lilly, I didn't want you to change anything in English version, cause it was quite good, but you know also French and Italian, so I thought you could help us...

I did some searching and have found a few funny Italian comparisons:

amaro come la bustina
amaro come "vermouth senza vino"
amaro come l'Ecuador ...

But they are probably humoristic, meanwhile we are looking for serious ones.

If it's about common and simple comparisons (like "cold as ice" ), in Italian we have a nice rhyming way for these two opposites!

"Dolce come il miele,
amaro come il fiele."

Fiele means gall/venom!

Amer comme un Fernet branca

Fernet Branca!

I like your "amaro come il fiele", Alex. It could go I guess.

Anyway, I've been thinking about the expression and I believe we could express it also in a different way around. It could also be read:

and love is so damn bitter.

(I even prefer it to "love is like Cupid's curse", since it is too literary, meanwhile "jak franca" is colloquial expression)

Hi, everybody:

Definitely, I would discard the expression "Cupid's curse", which has been widely used --in several languages- as an allegory of syphilis (also: "Cupid's disease" ).

Interesting notice, dear Lev! Thanks!
I'm all for the change.

I believe that "and love is so damn bitter" much better represents the Polish line.

CC: lilian canale

Edited

Thanks.

---
What about French and Italian version then...
And what about the second point of mine? (vide supra)

would you use "can be so damn bitter" instead of "is so damn bitter"?

I'd suggest for French :

"et l'amour peut être si méchamment amer" or
"et l'amour peut être si cruellement amer"

"méchamment" or "cruellement "reinforce" the bitterness

Without "peut être" :

"Et l'amour est méchamment amer"
"Et l'amour est cruellement amer" (less general and more personal than with "peut être", but "peut être" (can be) is just a way to say it in a bit more distant way, with a nuance showing love is not always bitter.

Just my two cents