Prevođenje - Journey (Engleski)

I 'hitnk it's better use 'journey' instead of 'expedition'.
I'm not so sure about 'Eyelids open wide', better 'swelled'.
The french version is a little bit wrong about 'perdendo'. It's 'going so far that you can see those hills anymore' losing the view of it.
Let's see in wich the kids are playing'
Nenhures means 'nowhere'.

'Nothing else but a cove'

Cigarra: cicada.

Could only agree with you, I see the French version has been edited so that'll help a lot.

Although "swelled" doesn't exist :P

Ay caramba!!!
Sorry.
It's 'swollen'.

I 'hitnk

I do not read Brazilian, but here are my comments from the French:

tu pars néanmoins pour l'autre expédition
is
YOU nevertheless leave on the other journey
("journey": as per caspertavernello, the original author's preference , q.v. supra)

se perdant au loin les collines escarpées
is not good French, and should probably read
se perdant au loin des collines escarpées
which is in English
losing his way far beyond the steep hills

voyons à quoi jouent les enfants
means not
let's see what the children are playing WITH
but just
let's see what the children are playing
i.e. what game they are playing

Finally, very small point: the English
Who is going to join you
would be in French
Qui se joindra à toi
because the "is going to" would be taken as expressing the simple future, not the act of physically going, so in English I believe we would have to say
Who will go and join you

To help make a good translation even better!

Perfect.

Awful when you translate something, then see the original text has been modified.
Must have missed the change from "il part" to "tu pars"
About the steep hills, "des" makes more sense indeed. I'll edit those asap.

I'm a little bit confused about the "ira te joindre" though.
If "Qui va te joindre" means something like "Who's going to join you?", I'd say "Qui ira te joindre?" means "Who will be going to join you?"
Of course, when talking about a journey it'd make more sense to talk about the phyical going, therefore I'll change that one too.

Thanks for the help Ian!

Just a little point about 'Losing your way' that's not clear and I forgot the first time.
That's an expression in portuguese perder de vista that I can't find a precise matching so I'll ask it to the "universtários" (internal joke).



CC: Borges goncin thathavieira

Not too sure about that, but maybe: as far as eyes can see?

Hi again everybody,

Sorry, I must have missed the one other major difference between the English and French (again, bearing in mind I don't read Brazilian! ). It was that the English

Still far away from home

is in the French translation, literally

It's not your home anymore

which I think may actually mean

Your home is not there anymore

This seems to make the most sense, because it is followed by

Nothing but a cove now

i.e. all together, the meaning is "Your house is gone, and now there's only a cove where your house once stood."

Hmm...caspertavernello? Judgment, please?

--

Oh, with the latest suggestions from caspertavernello and Thathavieira, maybe that line about the hills should read

As far as the eye can see, beyond the steep hills

or even

Further than anyone can see, beyond the steep hills

?
In Quebec, there is a similar expression "perdre de vue," which means "to lose sight of," often because the object you're trying to see has moved too far away. So I think I know what you mean, if these two expressions are similar in meaning.
--

To Urunghai (and anybody else who cares!) about the expression of the future tense:

Confusion would arise in the mind of someone who only could read English, because "going to...," to a native English speaker, simply indicates a future tense to the verb following it, i.e.
"I'm going to eat"
doesn't mean
"I'm going to go somewhere and eat"
but rather it's just another way of saying
"I will eat"
with a little more certainty.

Maybe you can consider it this way:
"I'm going to eat" is, say, 90% sure that you will eat.
"I will eat" might be about 80% sure (or something like that).

That's why we don't usually say
"I guess I'm going to..."
if we are talking about a possibility we are considering undertaking, but rather
"I guess I'll..."
You see how the "I'll" (will) form for the future has a more "tentative" feel to it...

When I teach English here in Japan, the following percentages are a very rough guide to the tentative <--> certain nuances:

I will meet John tomorrow (80%? )
I'm going to meet John tomorrow (90%? )
I'm meeting John tomorrow (95%? )

You see how all these ways of saying so mean the same thing, with just increasing levels of certainty...

Maybe!

So Urunghai, you said:

>I'm a little bit confused about the "ira te
>joindre" though.
>If "Qui va te joindre" means something like
>"Who's going to join you?", I'd say "Qui ira te
>joindre?" means "Who will be going to join you?"

Exactly!

Qui va te joindre = Who will (or, is going to) join you
Qui ira te joindre = Who will go (to where you are) and join you

"Qui s'en va te joindre" would be "Who is on his way to join you?"
(lit. Who is going to join you? but as I said before, this would be confusing for someone who only understood English.)

Small differences in form can indicate significant differences in meaning sometimes, as is true in perhaps every language in the world...

So I guess everybody is sick of my explaining now! But at least you can see you much I love language!

CC: casper tavernello Urunghai

Hi guys,

So, what do you think of the following modifications before I validate it:

Losing your way far beyond the steep hills

I plan to make into

Further than the eye can see, beyond the steep hills

and

It's not your home anymore

I plan to make into

Your house is not there any more

and then, I'll validate this translation!

Any objections?

CC: casper tavernello Urunghai

Try to figure out you are out in a journey and you get to a place and think:
Good, I'm finally not home anymore! I'm very far away from it!. Like telling this person that this is a place for a new beginning.
This is what means 'não mais sua casa'.

So distant that s/he can't see those hills anymore.
Those hills are desapearing on the horizon.

Losing the sight of the steep hills.
Is it right?

Thanks casper,
So how about if I replace

Your home's not there anymore
Nothing else but a cove now

with

You are home no longer
There's nothing but a cove here

and

Further than the eye can see, beyond the steep hills

with

Losing sight of the steep hills far away

Sound good?

CC: casper tavernello

I think this one gets a prize for most edited translation ever :P

Yeah. Good. You caught the sense.
But the first two parts are narrative/descriptive, not so personal (like to say "you" and/or "s/he" ).
If you do it this way, you can validate it.

A very good team work!
Thanks a lot (again) for your goodwilling, Ian.

Losing sight of the steep hills far away
is very nice!

Yeah, I've read casper's descriptions again, and I feel confident that I do understand what he meant, so I'm just going to go ahead and do the alterations I suggested to him and then validate it!

Sorry to drag this out so long, everybody!
I just wanted everyone concerned to be as satisfied as possible with the final product!

CC: casper tavernello Urunghai