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| 14 Септември 2009 23:40 |
| The meaning is conveyed very well... I ask only for English improvement if it is needed... |
| 19 Септември 2009 00:31 |
| I’m saying sorry --> I said I'm sorry
That’s It --> That's it
I can’t apologise in any different way --> ... any other way
I don't understand the meaning of the second verse exactly - why "just" a few things?
Everything’s excellent
Post Factum --> ?????
Everything else looks perfect. |
| 19 Септември 2009 00:44 |
| Hello Laura!!!
How nice you remember about my poems...
post factum - Latin expression - "after the event", like I typed in a remarks field and asked not to translate it...
I can let you do just a few things
= I can let you little?
"I said I'm sorry"??? But I'm doing it just now, in the very moment...
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| 19 Септември 2009 00:47 |
| We don't generally use "post factum" in English, but we do use "after the fact" - would that work?
I still don't understand what you mean with "I can let you do just a few things" - "I can let you little" is even less clear. |
| 19 Септември 2009 00:49 |
| If you need to say "I said I'm sorry" in the present tense, it has to be "I'm saying I'm sorry", but that sounds a little awkward.
How about simply "I'm sorry"? |
| 19 Септември 2009 00:53 |
| Hmm, How could I say it in "any other way"?
I can let you do NOT many things... I only let you go... Is it better?
Yes "after the fact" is possible translation of "post factum", but we are to leave it in Latin version anyway... |
| 19 Септември 2009 01:04 |
| But "pozwalam ci na niewiele" precisely means:
"I'm letting you [do] FEW things"
it is also praesent continuous... Almost the whole poem is expressed in this tense I think...
The action of "apologising" (speaking) is happening now.
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| 19 Септември 2009 00:59 |
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| 19 Септември 2009 01:08 |
| OK - I think I understand now - here's my suggestion:
I’m saying I'm sorry
That’s it
I can’t apologise in any other way
I'm only letting you do a few things,
Like leave me
And forget me
That’s it
Everything’s fine
After the fact
I apologise
For opening the door
And not letting you in
You were not the only one who was too scared |
| 19 Септември 2009 01:16 |
| "After the fact" is not needed here. I wanted Latin expression was left here...
I have also one question.
do a few things means:
"do some (quite many) things
or "do some (few/little)things"..., because I'd like to have here the second option... |
| 19 Септември 2009 01:19 |
| I don't know if it conveys the meaning, but here's a try:
I’m sorry
That’s it
There's no other way to apologise
Little is left for you to do,
To leave me
To forget me
That’s it
Everything’s excellent
"Post Factum"
Excuse me
For opening the door
And not letting you in
You were not the only one who was too scared |
| 19 Септември 2009 01:31 |
| Yes that is indeed!
Great shot, Lilly! Thank you!
Only the first sentence, I would translate:
I'm saying (to?) you I'm sorry... (in the original there is just that) |
| 19 Септември 2009 15:40 |
| Honestly, i dont think that "i am saying i am sorry" sounds english at all. Also i'd say that 'excuse me' is not what should've been used. Perhaps "forget me' would be more suitable but i think that apologise is the best possible option but thats just my opinion. Im not an expert |
| 19 Септември 2009 18:43 |
| 1) If you must say "I'm saying", it should be "I'm saying I'm sorry".
2) "Little is left for you to do" is very different from "I can let you do just a few things". I still don't understand what is meant here. Do you mean, "Up to now, I have only allowed you to do two things," or do you mean "There are only two things remaining for you to do"?
3) What is the purpose of this translation? If it is for English speakers to understand your poems, I don't think "post factum" will work.
4) "Excuse me" would be "Pardon me" in British English. Would that work with the meaning, iluvmilka? |
| 19 Септември 2009 19:10 |
| Well,well, well... I can say only that I like "Pardon me" very much and I hope some English people know Latin and this poem is directed towards them, hehehe... The rest can easily check the well-known Latin expression in the Net... or I can make some note under the poem for them...
p.s. In Polish poetry we can find a lot of Latin expressions and so-called "well-educated" people can deal with them... Don't take offence, please |
| 19 Септември 2009 20:41 |
| I'm well aware of this - many more Latin expressions are used in German and Eastern European languages, interestingly. In English we do use some of them, such as "habeas corpus", "ipso facto", "ad infinitum", "post partum", and many others, but this one isn't one of the ones we use. I think it's OK if you add a note of explanation. What do you intend to do with your poems, Aneta?
Note: I would not say "everything's excellent" - it doesn't sound right for the meaning you're trying to convey. "everything's fine" would be better - that's what I used in my suggested translation. |
| 19 Септември 2009 21:11 |
| Well, you're probably right... But literally I said in this place:
everything is "beautiful" - very ironic words...
(it is a kind of idiom or Polish popular expression)
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| 19 Септември 2009 21:42 |
| That's why I suggested "everything is fine" - that's an idiom in English. |
| 19 Септември 2009 21:48 |
| Yes, I know very well this your idiom and I think it means exactly the same... |
| 19 Септември 2009 23:08 |
| Yes - the meaning can be literal, but it can also be quite ironic. |