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13 rugsėjis 2009 23:36  

kafetzou
Žinučių kiekis: 7963
Hmm - that doesn't work so well in English. It's better with "our" - it still can be impersonal. As for the present tense, I think that works fine - maybe even better than the future:

Love and happiness
creep into places
in search of cosiness

They do not come
at our beck and call
but they do come
to surprise our hearts

And we hardly believe
that all of a sudden
unannounced and without effort
the answer to our life prayers
has arrived.
 

13 rugsėjis 2009 23:40  

Aneta B.
Žinučių kiekis: 4487
YEEESSS!
This version really conveys what I meant in the poem...
Thank youuuuuu!!!!
 

14 rugsėjis 2009 00:10  

Aneta B.
Žinučių kiekis: 4487
The third verse:
I nie będą mogli uwierzyć
--> literally "They won't be able to believe", so I would propose only one tiny change:

And we can hardly believe ...

Lilly, what do you think? Can we accept the last Laura's version?
 

14 rugsėjis 2009 00:17  

lilian canale
Žinučių kiekis: 14972
Done! I hope you are satisfied with that final version. If so, I may validate it straightaway.
 

14 rugsėjis 2009 00:23  

Aneta B.
Žinučių kiekis: 4487
Yes, I am, dear Lilly. You can accept. I'm sorry for my moaning...
 
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