Cucumis - Ókeypis álinju umsetingar tænasta
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Umseting - The Key (Enskt)

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10 September 2009 08:22  

Aneta B.
Tal av boðum: 4487
Dzięki Aniu!

I ask you Lilly, please, to take care of the evaluation

CC: lilian canale
 

10 September 2009 13:16  

Aneta B.
Tal av boðum: 4487
"Absent-minded" = often forgetting or not noticing things, because you think about sth else

I'd use here "absent"... or sth like this.
How can I say about person who is not in my life for a while, doesn't participate/take part in my life, doesn't share it and is out of me??? Ania? Lilly? Suitable adjective, please?

Moreover:
You take in my different world
what does "take in" mean here?

maybe better will be recive/absorb my world...?

 

10 September 2009 14:47  

iluvmilka
Tal av boðum: 77
distant - somebody who seems to be miles away
take in means actually to absorb. i didnt use absorb as i didnt seem right to me; absorb my world doesnt actually sound right. I don't know what you could use instead of 'take in' but i think its fine as it means to absorb the feelings and emotions so it actually brings your message across
 

10 September 2009 15:07  

Aneta B.
Tal av boðum: 4487
Thank you!!!
Yes, distant looks to be perfect here!
I understand about "take in"... Thank you for explanations. My English isn't so good as yours, so I didn't know the phrasal...
 

10 September 2009 15:21  

iluvmilka
Tal av boðum: 77
Your English is fine dont worry. I'll tell you a secret: sometimes i use a dictionary :-)
 

10 September 2009 15:23  

Aneta B.
Tal av boðum: 4487
Hehe! Me too
 

10 September 2009 17:04  

lilian canale
Tal av boðum: 14972
Hi girls

I didn't get this line:
"You read till the small hours in my soul"

Also "And you stop to exist (a little bit)" what do the brackets mean? Are they in the original?
 

10 September 2009 17:13  

Aneta B.
Tal av boðum: 4487
Well, I don't understand this first line too. You know my version... You're reading my soul with passion... but I thought Ania said the same only in a different way...


A propos the second question of yours I would pull it out of the brackets... it is in the source... (trochÄ™ = a little bit)
But wouldn't more correct: You stop existing a little bit?

 

10 September 2009 17:21  

Aneta B.
Tal av boðum: 4487
Well, literaly it means that the man becomes less and less existing...
 

10 September 2009 17:49  

lilian canale
Tal av boðum: 14972
OK, here's a version I got by combining both versions, yours and iluvmilka's, and adding some suggestions of my own.

You call me your goddess
Speak of praise
Stop touching
And curb your gaze...

Almost like a passionate
You read my soul
and absorb my other world
suspiciously...

And you become a bit missing
somehow absent...

Do you seek the key to my heart?
My darling, I beg you, FIGHT!


What do you think? Is there anything I misunderstood?


 

10 September 2009 17:38  

Aneta B.
Tal av boðum: 4487
"praise" - I associate the word rather with religious texts (Bible or Gospel songs), but I say here about an admiration of a man for a woman...
and
What does "sough" mean? I don't know the word, sorry, dear Lilly. I haven't even found it in my poor dictionary...

I like "suspiciously" very much!
The rest - perfect for me...
 

10 September 2009 17:48  

lilian canale
Tal av boðum: 14972
'praise' is not used just to 'praise God', it means "express approval or commendation" "make positive comments about something". It's perfectly suitable here.

Oops! you would never find "sough" for I mistyped it
I should have written "seek". I edited the line and forgot to change the verb.
Before I had written: "If the key to my heart is sought..."
 

10 September 2009 18:35  

iluvmilka
Tal av boðum: 77
"to do something till the small hours' is an idiom meaning that you're giving your whole heart to somthing and you are absolutely dedicated to it
 

10 September 2009 20:02  

Aneta B.
Tal av boðum: 4487
Lilly, about "praise", "express approval or commendation" "make positive comments about something" isn't precisely what I meant here I meant that the man adore the woman.. In other words "He is saying that he adore her..." I can see the line has been already changed... but by who, by Ania or by you?
BTW. "seek" is very good...

Ok, Ania. I got it. Anyway, don't take any offence but I prefer here Lilly's proposition and absorb my other world, because it is closer to the original...

Thanks anyway both of you for your excellent work on the translation. I really appreciate it.
 

10 September 2009 20:06  

lilian canale
Tal av boðum: 14972
I must confess I've never heard of that idiom in this way.
"till the small hours" is used in a different context, like in: "I usually study till the small hours the night before an exam"

BTW, I haven't edited anything yet.
 

10 September 2009 21:00  

Aneta B.
Tal av boðum: 4487
Once again "suspiciously"... Doesn't have the word negative connotation?

"With disbelief" is literal translation. He absorbs my world and can't believe in it and he is surprised by my world, because it is so big and different then his one and so various and maybe even fascinating for him. So, that is actually his disbelief with feeling of big surprise. Positive connotation.

Sorry, nothing was changed in this line. Only the word "absent-minded" was changed into "distant"...
 

10 September 2009 21:25  

lilian canale
Tal av boðum: 14972
What about "astonished"?
 

10 September 2009 21:33  

Aneta B.
Tal av boðum: 4487
Yes!
This is just what I meant!
 

10 September 2009 21:39  

lilian canale
Tal av boðum: 14972
Fine, then I think we hit the nail on the head and the version is ready.
 

10 September 2009 22:07  

iluvmilka
Tal av boðum: 77
Lilian, that's just brilliant! Really really good and professional translation. Im well impressed!
 
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