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Translation - Hebrew-English - שיהיה לך יום טוב יום יבוא ואת תהיי שלי

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This translation request is "Meaning only".
Title
שיהיה לך יום טוב יום יבוא ואת תהיי שלי
Text
Submitted by amelie22
Source language: Hebrew

שיהיה לך יום טוב
יום יבוא ואת תהיי שלי
Remarks about the translation
Anglais canadien et/ou français du Québec.

Title
have a good day
Translation
English

Translated by dramati
Target language: English

Have a good day.

One day you will be mine.
Validated by kafetzou - 9 October 2007 06:06





Last messages

Author
Message

2 October 2007 07:24

Tantine
Number of messages: 2747
Hi Dramati

The second part of this text doesn't seem to come over in English.

Do you mean "one day you will be mine"?

"Have a good day" is for the present, so the second part of the text doesn't seem to fit in with this.

Tantine

2 October 2007 08:37

milkman
Number of messages: 773
more like:
Have a good day
One day you'll be mine

2 October 2007 11:19

dramati
Number of messages: 972
sure, you could do either but more correctly is a day will come in which you will be mine. that is "yom yavo" which is the future tense.

2 October 2007 14:11

Tantine
Number of messages: 2747
Hi dramati,

The idea is not to do a word to word translation, but to write in the target language as if it was the "original". Sometimes, in order for a text to read correctly in the target language, some liberties have to be taken with word order, tenses and genders.

It doesn't seem to me to be correctly formulated in your translation. The word "that" puzzles me somewhat in this phrase. Maybe if you remove the word "that" the rest of the sentence will be fluent and more readable in English?

Bises
Tantine

2 October 2007 16:52

dramati
Number of messages: 972
Well yes, but it still says the day will come when you will be mine. Once again, Hebrew might be a little difficult for non-Hebrew speakers to understand because it is a very exact language. Yes, I agree with you that poetic license must be taken here, but that would depend on the way it was meant by the writer. He could very well mix his tenses and could very well have said have a good day. (first thought) and a romantic? (second thought) reminder that the day will come when the recip. of the letter will belong to the writer.

2 October 2007 19:23

Tantine
Number of messages: 2747
I don't understand a word of Hebrew

So I'd be at a loss in a debate about its exactitude.

Here, it's neither poetic license, nor mixed tenses. The word "that" is superfluous in the English version.

Bises
Tantine

2 October 2007 21:06

dramati
Number of messages: 972
By the way, please explain where you saw the word "that" in the English version?

2 October 2007 21:15

Tantine
Number of messages: 2747
Hi Dramati

Here is a copy/paste of the text you have submitted above:

Have a good day--a day that will come in which you will be mine.

It is this word "that", the one in the 3rd place after the "--", that I'm talking about.

Maybe it slipped in by accident, that's whuy you don't remember it

2 October 2007 21:25

dramati
Number of messages: 972
Yes I see. Ok, take out the that if you find it to be more pleasing in English. That is being used to define a future event as opposed to the first thought Yavo is a day that will come which is the sixth word from the right in Hebrew. I guess probably it could mean several things for instance have a good day (a day that will be the day you will be mine.) Most Hebrew words have a past present and future tense which is important to the sentence structure

5 October 2007 05:48

sloew00
Number of messages: 8
שיהיה לך יום טוב - יום שיבוא ואשר תהיי בו שלי

5 October 2007 21:03

Tantine
Number of messages: 2747

Hi sloew00

I'm afraid I can't read any Hebrew at all. What I notice though is that you have posted almost exactly the same text as the original, source text.

Could you explain what you have written? Thanks


Hi Dramati,

It's not just a simple question of making the English version "more pleasing" by removing the word "that". It is much more a question of it being grammatically incorrect to leave it in there.

The future tense is assured by the use of the the word "will". If you wish to assure the future tense in using the word "that", maybe we could try:

"Have a nice day - a day that will make you mine"

What do you think?

Bises
Tantine



6 October 2007 15:27

dramati
Number of messages: 972
Hi,

I like the way that sounds in English.

Best,

David

8 October 2007 21:55

kafetzou
Number of messages: 7963
There seems to be a disconnect here. When we say, "Have a good day" in English, we say it on the day that the speaker is referring to, such as when someone is leaving the house for work in the morning, and their spouse says, "Have a good day!" - it's a wish for the same day.

But then the second part is about some hoped-for future date. Here's my suggestion:

"I hope for a good day for you - one on which you will be mine."

P.S. I cannot read Hebrew - I'm making this suggestion based on the discussion above.

CC: milkman sloew00 ahikamr

8 October 2007 22:00

dramati
Number of messages: 972
yes, good, or alternately one in which you will be mine.

9 October 2007 04:21

ahikamr
Number of messages: 51
The misunderstanding is coming from the "problematic" text in Hebrew. "Have a good day" is said on the day that the speaker is referring to in Hebrew as well. The text is not correct in its grammer in Hebrew. Maybe there's supposed to be a full stop in the end of the "Have a nice day". I think the idea of milkman and Tantine to translate it like this:
"Have a good day.
One day you'll be mine.", is a good one.

Good day, you all! :-)

9 October 2007 10:30

dramati
Number of messages: 972
Yes, this is a good idea. Israeli's, in many instances, forget spelling and grammer. Remember, the language is only a relatively few years old after being re-invented. The problem is two fold in this construction.
יום יבוא ואת תהיי שלי reading from right to left the YaBo (second word) is the future tense meaning will come. Bo is present sence for come and Ba is the past tense. There should be a period between the two thoughts and to clairify the hebrew letter ש should be placed before יבוא making it a day (that) will come and you will be mine, but the meaning is clear either way and most of the suggestions will get the meaning across. Thanks for the input.

10 October 2007 18:35

Tantine
Number of messages: 2747
Thanks for your input dramati.

I'm learning a lot since I became a cucumiss.

Bises
Tantine