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Translation - Turkish-English - Ne geceler ne gündüzler gördüm En vazgeçilmez...

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กลุ่ม Song - Culture

Title
Ne geceler ne gündüzler gördüm En vazgeçilmez...
Text
Submitted by angel of petit paradis
Source language: Turkish

Ne geceler ne gündüzler gördüm
En vazgeçilmez yeminlerden döndüm
Görmedim senin gibi sevmedim hiç kimseyi
Yapayalnızım şimdi unuttum gülmeyi

Sen vaktinden çok sonra gelen
Sevdalı bir yağmur gibisin
Çisil çisil gözlerimden

Sen çıldırmış şairlerin
Titreyen mısralarında
BahsettiÄŸi o perisin

Pencereler önünde çürürken
Senden kalan çiçekler
Hayalin gözlerimin önünde
Hala ağlıyorum

Pencereler önünde çürürken
O güzelim yılların hayali
Gözlerimin önünde
Bize ağlıyorum...
Remarks about the translation
british

Title
What nights and days I've seen..
Translation
English

Translated by lamiao
Target language: English

What nights and days I’ve seen
What solemn oaths I’ve broken
I've never seen anyone like you, I've never loved anyone so much
The solitary man who cannot recall how to laugh, that’s me

You who has come way after its time
Like a rain in love oozing from my eyes
Slowly drop by drop

You the fairy
Talked by the maddened poets
With their trembling verse

As your left flowers wither
Along the window sills
Your vision before my eyes
While I still weep

As the dream of those wonderful years die
Along the window sills
Before my eyes
While to us I weep..
Validated by lilian canale - 25 July 2008 02:19





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21 July 2008 19:21

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
Hi lamiao,

This is a fine work!
But we'll have to work a couple of lines OK?

"Never seen one like you, neither loved one as you "

I think that would read:
"Never have I seen or loved one like you"

And I'm just in doubt about "recall" in the 4th line. Could it be "remember"?

"Like a rain in love oozing from my eyes"

What do you mean by "a rain in love"?

22 July 2008 08:18

lamiao
จำนวนข้อความ: 10
Hello lilian canale,

Well, the first line you mentioned could of course be more grammatically correct the way you wrote it, but since it is a poem I tried to stay loyal to both the meaning and the structure of the poem and hence I preferred to put it that way so that it would sound more poetic.
"Remember" can be used instead of "recall" though I believe "recall" does give the meaning just as well.
I used "a rain in love" because that's what goes in the original poem (which is in Turkish): "sevdali bir yagmur" means "a rain in love".
Thanks for the feedback.


22 July 2008 14:40

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
Hi again lamiao,

Well...about "recall" it's Ok. "a rain in love" is still weird, but perhaps at the poll other people suggest something.

However that line: "Never seen one like you, neither loved one as you" has to be corrected.

That "never" starting the sentence calls an inversion in syntax, otherwise it's plain wrong.

So, please, think about a solution, OK?

22 July 2008 15:00

lamiao
จำนวนข้อความ: 10
Hello,

So, for the sentence beginning with "never" let's change it to "I've never seen anyone like you, I've never loved anyone as much as you" if we must. This way it is 100% grammatically correct and understandable by everyone. OK?
For the term "a rain in love", I will look forward to see other people's suggestions, as long as they stay true to the meaning.
I will also be looking forward to other people's evaluations on the whole.

22 July 2008 15:14

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
OK, that sounds better. Will you edit please?

By the way...why did you call for an admin? Is there any further explanation you need?

22 July 2008 16:02

lamiao
จำนวนข้อความ: 10
I have edited the "never" line. I called for an admin, so that they could give a suggestion for "rain in love", I thought that was what you had meant.

22 July 2008 16:36

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
Oh, no, what I said was that at the poll someone (the other members who master both languages) could offer a suggestion.

Let's set the poll, then.

22 July 2008 16:49

lamiao
จำนวนข้อความ: 10
OK, how do we set the poll?

22 July 2008 17:06

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
I've done that already.
To follow it, you can click on your profile, "All translations" on the left.

24 July 2008 10:47

serba
จำนวนข้อความ: 655
wow !what a translation!

24 July 2008 12:50

lamiao
จำนวนข้อความ: 10
Cheers Serba