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10Translation - Dutch-English - Misschien lag het aan de grenzeloze arrogantie...

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Title
Misschien lag het aan de grenzeloze arrogantie...
Text
Submitted by safranis
Source language: Dutch

Misschien lag het aan de grenzeloze arrogantie van de macho van dienst - donkere zonnebril, baret over de oren getrokken- die ons bij de zoveelste controle op de luchthaven van Kinshasa doodleuk voorstelde hem maar een cola, of liever nog een biertje, te betalen?

Title
Maybe it was the sheer arrogance...
Translation
English

Translated by jollyo
Target language: English

Maybe it was the sheer arrogance of the gorilla on duty - dark sun-glasses, beret drawn over the ears - who, at one of the countless checkpoints at Kinshasa airport, unamused suggested that we just buy him a cola, or rather a beer?
Validated by Tantine - 7 August 2008 15:16





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3 August 2008 15:51

Tantine
จำนวนข้อความ: 2747
Hi Jollyo

This is mostly ok, but there are one or two corrections that need to be made.

It should read "at Kinshasa airport", and not "on Kinshasa Airport". The French version reads "enième contrôle" which cannot really be translated as "checkpoint number so and so", could you find another way of putting it in English?

"Proposed to us to..." seems a bit clumsy. "Asked us to buy..." seems more readable in English.

If you had written "koala" rather than "cola" I would have accepted "bear" lol Just a typo? In that case it should read "beer".

Bises
Tantine

3 August 2008 17:55

MÃ¥ddie
จำนวนข้อความ: 1285
Hi, Jollyo!

I agree with Tantine. There are some things that must be changed.

Madeleine

3 August 2008 18:11

Mariketta
จำนวนข้อความ: 107
I agree with Tantine.

3 August 2008 18:50

Cath_FR
จำนวนข้อความ: 13
I would rather translate the French text this way:
"Maybe it was the sheer arrogance of the macho on duty - dark sun-glasses, beret drawn over the ears - who, at checkpoint number so-and-so at Kinshasa Airport, suggested, deadpan, that we buy him a cola, or rather a beer?".
"Bear" does not mean "bière" but "ours".

3 August 2008 20:14

jollyo
จำนวนข้อความ: 330
Sorry for the typo
Of course it should say 'beer'

The idea of changing 'proposed' to 'suggested' seems okay to me

I really can not find another description for 'number so-and-so'.
In Dutch (the original language I translated) it means exactly that.
To explain in English: these people have passed numerous checkpoints allready and this is number so-and-so, as in they do not know which number this one was.
Any suggestions?
Maybe: 'one of the countless checkpoints'?

4 August 2008 01:58

Tantine
จำนวนข้อความ: 2747
Hi Jollyo, Hi all

You didn't need to explain, the "so and so" bit, as I more or less guessed it from the French version.

"one of the countless checkpoints" seems good to me

The "suggested to us to" is still clumsy in English. Maybe "Suggested that we buy him a cola"

Lol, with the cola and the bear I wondered whether Kinshasa had been moved to Australia

Once you've put your suggested edit in, I'll validate

Kath FR - Jollyo is translating from a Dutch source text, and not from the French, which is a translation from Dutch itself.

If you read my previous message, you will see that I have already noted the error (which was a typo and not a mistranslation). If you look at my profile page you will see that I am bilingual English/French and am already aware that "bière" means beer

Bises à toutes

4 August 2008 04:52

IanMegill2
จำนวนข้อความ: 1671
I like Tantine's
one of their countless checkpoints
better: "so-and-so" doesn't convey the feeling of "endlessness," it just conveys the fact that you don't know/don't care which one it was...
---
Also, because "macho" now often has the overtones of "gay" in North America, we now usually call these tough, brainless, Alpha-male guys "gorillas":
...arrogance of the gorilla on duty...

4 August 2008 08:25

Shaneeae
จำนวนข้อความ: 55
After looking at both the Dutch and the French, and Cath_FR's suggetion, I think this would be the most accurate:
"Maybe it was the boundless arrogance of the macho type on duty - dark sun-glasses, beret drawn over the ears - who, at the nth checkpoint at Kinshasa Airport, suggested, deadpan, that we just buy him a cola, or rather another beer?"

4 August 2008 10:35

Lein
จำนวนข้อความ: 3389
I think the translation is ok. Not so sure about how commonly used 'unamused' would be here - could you say 'had the cheek to suggest' or so?
Just a suggestion.

4 August 2008 23:58

jollyo
จำนวนข้อความ: 330
Thank you Tantine.
Translation adapted.

If Kinshasa airport would move to Australia, it might be a safer place, though... don't you think?

4 August 2008 15:35

Tantine
จำนวนข้อความ: 2747
Hi Jollyo, Hi Ian

In light of Ian's comment about the use of the term macho in North America, it may be more propitious to use the word "gorilla" as suggested.

The rest seems fine to me, so once we have changed a macho into a gorilla I will validate it.

Oof! we will get there in the end

Bises à toutes et à tous
Tantine

4 August 2008 20:38

jollyo
จำนวนข้อความ: 330
Sure!
It is done.


Best regards

4 August 2008 23:56

Shaneeae
จำนวนข้อความ: 55
"Sheer" needs to be changed, it has a different meaning from the original. I would suggest "boundless" instead.

Also, I'm from North America, and although the song "Macho Man" is popular with gay people, I've never known the word "macho" to have gay overtones.

5 August 2008 00:02

jollyo
จำนวนข้อความ: 330
I think using 'boundless' is taking the word 'grenzeloos' to literal and in my opinion does not match the original text.

And I must say, I haven't heard of this new overtone of the word 'macho' either...


5 August 2008 15:23

kfeto
จำนวนข้อความ: 953
it has to be unamusedly.
though i dont know if thats the right translation for doodleuk .

7 August 2008 09:17

Spasty
จำนวนข้อความ: 48
It's very near correct, but I'd say that enième should be translated as "umpteenth." Also, it seems it should be simply "a beer," in place of "another beer."

7 August 2008 11:08

jollyo
จำนวนข้อความ: 330
I agree upon the suggestion for 'a beer'.
Translation adapted.

7 August 2008 15:17

Tantine
จำนวนข้อความ: 2747
Hi Jollyo

It's validated

Bises
Tantine