Translation - Turkish-English - Nefesim Nefesine

Hi duguit

I love your translation - very beautiful. I edited just a couple of minor things (grammar points that I don't think change the meaning or the flow of the text). One point that I don't really understand is in the last verse: I cannot last standing. Does that need a comma? (I cannot last, standing / Wherever I see you) Or should it be I cannot keep standing / Wherever I see you? Or have I misunderstood this part? Thanks

yes sure it is "i cannot keep standing" i just couldn't remember the word although i use it all the time

thank you! :*

Thanks

Hi duguit,
good work

only,
Like the BinboÄŸa Forest
All covered with flowers....>

All covered with flowers
Like the BinboÄŸa Forest
and
I don't understand "Did you come to tread?"

you are absolutely right about the forest part when we consider the line numbers. but i think it sounds and gives the meanin better like this.

when we use like you suggest, it seems like she is the one who is covered with flowers. both this is possible. but i think, it is the forest what is all covered with flovers. she only looks or smells ect. like the forest. this way i use is more common in turkish poems and traditional songs. so i chose this.

and "to tread", i accept that it was a hard part

kadem basmak türkçe ayak basmak anlamına da geliyor. hani uğramak, görünüp gitmek falan gibi. şarkının anlamı kapsamında en uygun gördüğüm anlam bu oldu ama önerilere açığım.

Dear duguit.
You are right about the forest part. But it is a poem and I suppose, we can't change the original layout.
And also for me; "she is the one who is covered with flowers" is good for this poem.

I think the meaning of those two sentences doesn't change by switching them so I'll leave duguit's version. Either way, they can be read as someone resembling the forest, which is covered in flowers; whether she herself is covered in flowers is up to the reader's interpretation.

As for 'tread', are you suggesting another word would be more suitable? Something like 'walk', or 'step' perhaps?

Dear Line,
No, it is not up to the reader's interpretation. As a native reader I understand "she herself is covered in flowers" because of the meaning of first two sentences.
On the otherside we have no right to change the original layout, especially if it is a poem.

But in the English version you can still read that either the forest, or both the forest and the girl are covered in flowers. By the way, I think especially in poetry we can change the layout if it makes the translated poem flow better.

Bilge, you voted 'yes' - does this discussion change your opinion? Thanks!

CC: Bilge Ertan

Hi Lein

Thanks for asking my opinion. I think the translation could stay like this because in the original text, it is not mentionned exactly whether the girl is covered in flowers or the forest.

merdogan,
You are right, when I read the text, at first I thought the same thing but in fact there are two cases. Let's take a look. The first one:

-Yatar gül harmanı gibi, canımın dermanı gibi, (onun) her yanında çiçek açmış,Binboğa ormanı gibi.

If we say like this you are right. But if we remove the comma,

-Yatar gül harmanı gibi ,canımın dermanı gibi,her yanında çiçek açmış Binboğa Ormanı gibi (yatar)

(Yani onun yatışını her yanında çiçek açmış olan Binboğa Ormanı'na benzetiyoruz.)

The meaning is becoming completely different. I hope I could explain you. Thanks



CC: merdogan

Thanks all
Accepted

Dear Bilge,
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