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| | 3 Tháng 4 2008 18:14 |
| | Hi Oana F,
Fine job! Minor changes:
"You left but your photo"
Could that be : "You left only/just your photo." or "You left nothing, but your photo" ?
"And how can I think about myself" should read:
"And how I can think about myself"
I know you tried to keep the length of the lines and even being a bit longer, could "My heart will ache for you nights and days" be:
"My heart will hurt because of you night and day" ?
"And a photo you had given to me" this line should be Simple past (gave) or Present Perfect (has given).
"How can I live, my life is a torment"
"How can I live? My life is a torment"
or "How can I live if my life is a torment?"
What do you think?
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| | 4 Tháng 4 2008 09:35 |
| | Thank you, Lilian. I want to tell you that this lines are very ugly and bad in Romanian language. "You left but your photo" sounds very bad in Romanian, without understanding anything, but it means something like : "You left me (or you left our home), and there is only a photo that you left (that I have from you)" |
| | 4 Tháng 4 2008 16:18 |
| | Hi Oana
In that case to make things clear,I guess that the title should be translated as:
"You left, just a photo remained" although a bit longer, it expressed exactly the meaning in the original, doesn't it?
If you agree, I'll wait until you edit those corrections and set a poll, OK? |
| | 4 Tháng 4 2008 16:19 |
| | ok, great, thank you for sharing your ideas |
| | 4 Tháng 4 2008 18:24 |
| | The English is good. But there are many lines which don't even resemble the Romanian version: "E greu să mă gândesc la mine" = It's hard to think about myself "Voi suferi multe nopţi şi zile" = I'll suffer many nights and days "Mi-e atât de greu ca să mai pot trăi" = It's so hard for me to go on living "mirosul tău" = your scent (there is nothing dazzling there)
It's not for us to create poetry. We have to keep the original meaning as much as possible... |
| | 4 Tháng 4 2008 18:29 |
| | I suppose those lines are for a song, so, what I tried at least was to maintain the number of the syllables. Of course I changed here and there, I added some words and so on. I didn't create poetry
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| | 4 Tháng 4 2008 19:48 |
| | To many changes were made, and I really don't like when a translator does that. I don't think it is an accurate translation. |
| | 4 Tháng 4 2008 20:00 |
| | Hi Madeleine,
The poll is a tool created in order to discuss the translations and by commenting, suggesting and correcting any misunderstanding, users manage to give a final version which we think is the most accurate.
The translations we provide on are usually the result of everybody's work, not only the translator's.
Keep helping us reach that goal, OK?.
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| | 4 Tháng 4 2008 20:08 |
| | In my opinion they are translations where you cannot change, like contracts, technical texts, but when it comes about texts like this you can change things, which give more effect in the target language. I don't think about myself that I'm a great English translator, but I really did my best to keep the rythm. Even if my English is not the best, I have never studied at University, but as translator I have enough experience and knowledge to know what means "to do a translation" and which are the limits. |
| | 4 Tháng 4 2008 20:17 |
| | Now I'm wondering if people who translated the Bible were thinking like you... I really hope not. It's not about University, or knowledge of English, or experience; it's just about translating - keeping the same meaning. There are jokes who are funny in English but have no meaning in Romanian and vice-versa.... |
| | 4 Tháng 4 2008 20:33 |
| | This is not the Bible. I tried to keep the rythm, that's why I also wrote in the notes that I changed, probably I should have written also in Romanian to see if the requester agrees. It seemply seemed to me a song and anyway, the meaning was not changed, only the form, but if you say so, I will wait till my English will be improved and then I will try to help with my translations |
| | 5 Tháng 4 2008 09:04 |
| | Oana, your English is just fine. As I said above, you really did a great job! The issue was about not changing the text so much. It's normal to make changes, to make it sound better, to "keep the rythm" as you said...
I didn't mean to discourage you or criticize you work. I just had another opinion.
Kisses |