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Translation - Portuguese brazilian-French - jornada

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Category Poetry - Arts / Creation / Imagination

Title
jornada
Text
Submitted by casper tavernello
Source language: Portuguese brazilian

Somente uma parte do campo semeada
Mesmo assim parte à outra jornada

Cobrindo as estradas
Pálpebras inchadas
Cheiro de fumaça
Canto da cigarra

Perdendo ao longe as colinas escarpadas
Mesmo assim parte à outra jornada

Luzes apagadas
Ruas inacabadas
Não mais sua casa
Agora só uma enseada

Vejamos de que as crianças estão brincando.
Vejamos de que as crianças estão brincando.
Uma voz doce & suave chama

Após a tempestade

Num cerimonial de trens, trilhos & túneis
Quem irá se juntar a você
Durante a jornada a nenhures?
Remarks about the translation
Por favor note que há uma crase em 'à outra...' denotando uma jornada em especial.
If possible, I want this one to be done only by natives.
Thanks.

Title
Expédition
Translation
French

Translated by turkishmiss
Target language: French

Seulement une partie du champ est semée
tu pars néanmoins pour l'autre expédition

Parcourant les routes
Paupières gonflées
Odeur de fumée
Chant de la cigale

se perdant au loin les collines escarpées
tu pars néanmoins pour l'autre expédition

Lumières éteintes
Rues inachevées
Ce n'est plus ta maison
Maintenant c'est seulement une crique

Voyons à quoi jouent les enfants
voyons à quoi jouent les enfants
Une voix douce et suave appelle

Après la tempête

Dans un cérémonial de trains, de voies et de tunnels
Qui ira se joindre à toi
Pendant l’expédition vers nulle part ?
Validated by Francky5591 - 15 September 2007 14:18





Last messages

Author
Message

15 September 2007 13:59

goncin
Number of messages: 3706
Francky,

I think this need some little corrections:

1) The original text brings the verbs in 3rd person singular, but the meaning is 2nd person, because of the implied pronoun "você". This way, "il part" -> "tu parts".

2) "Não mais sua casa" -> "That's no more your home".

3) "Vejamos de que as crianças estão brincando" -> "Let us see [of] what children are playing".

4) "Nenhures" means "nowhere" in Portuguese, and wasn't translated.

CC: Francky5591

15 September 2007 14:13

guilon
Number of messages: 1549
I can only agree with Goncinho, these poems Casper writes are full of nuances :

-Tu pars pour l'autre expédition (et pas "une autre"
-Ce n'est plus ta maison, maintenant c'est seulement une crique
-Voyons à quoi jouent les enfants (au lieu de cette longue "Dans laquelle nous voyons les enfants en train de jouer"
-Expédition vers nulle part

15 September 2007 14:17

Francky5591
Number of messages: 12396
edited with your notifications, thank you!