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Translation - French-English - Panorama Mouvant

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Category Literature - Society / People / Politics

Title
Panorama Mouvant
Text
Submitted by DazedAndConfused
Source language: French

Suit un panorama mouvant, brossé à grands traits, dont l'impressario, armé de sa baguette démonstrative, doit expliquer au public les principaux sujets: -- Traversons la vallée du San Miguel et de l'Atascosa. Sur ce petit promontoire escarpé, le chalet qui se cache au milieu des cèdres était l'épicerie du canton.
Remarks about the translation
Civil War (War of Secession) era letter written by native French speaker for a Belgian periodical in 1862. Location: south Texas. I fully understand the literal meaning but do not understand the author's literary device (perhaps what's referred to as a "tableau vivant" in English literature??)

U. S. English please.

Title
A Moving Panorama
Translation
English

Translated by RedShadow
Target language: English

Following a moving panorama, brushed with large strokes, of which the impresario, by wielding his effusive baton, must explain the main subjects to the public: -- Let’s cross over the San Miguel and Atascosa valley. On this small steep headland lies a chalet hidden among the cedars; it was the county’s grocery store.
Validated by lilian canale - 7 July 2012 15:43





Last messages

Author
Message

3 July 2012 08:34

Lev van Pelt
Number of messages: 313
@redshadow

Hi, Redshadow!
IMHO "effusive" is not the best choice when translating "démonstrative"; at least, not in this case ("demonstrative" would be better. And even better: "pointing". So I would use "pointer" as the single term for "baguette démonstrative".)

3 July 2012 12:23

Francky5591
Number of messages: 12396
Well, here, Lev, in the context of an "educational" demonstration, and in case the "teacher" would like to let those he's teaching to think in one precise way (interpreting the events in one direction and not in another) Red's translation is fair as well. We're lacking context here, but yet it is situated in the second year of the American civil war (secession war) and at these times there were (at least) two different ways to interprete history, that were at the opposite from each other. I'm personally willing to believe the history lessons were obviously "oriented". Moreover I think what the requester wanted was to know the meaning "between the lines", as she said she understood well the text, literally speaking (see the requester's remarks?)

3 July 2012 13:14

Lev van Pelt
Number of messages: 313
OK, Francky!
Maybe, I'm being too scrupulous with the words in themselves and over-attentive to details (and, somehow, "effusive wand" sounded to me slightly odd. But this could be just right according to your interpretation).
No harm intended ; it’s just my usual way when being at work…


3 July 2012 13:58

Francky5591
Number of messages: 12396
I confirm! : No harm at all, Lev, it's just fine with me. Please note, my post above was just to say : You maybe right, Lev, but you also may be wrong.
Moreover I think I was more on the "first degree" (plus "terre à terre"under the French version, that leads me to say that without more context, a text can be interpreted in different ways, as for this kind of text to which a remark was added (that is not that often the case with submitted texts) Red's translation is closer to what the requester requires. What would be nice to have is a much larger extract from this Belgian periodical, as with more context chances are that the translation would certainly match the meaning of the original text.

3 July 2012 14:35

Lev van Pelt
Number of messages: 313
Oh, yes!
And that's the object of every reasoning and disagreement; the only way to approach the truth (if truth can be approached at all, of course
Furthermore, I've been trained hardly -and I've kept on doing the same with my pupils- to discuss every minor issue with everybody. In fact, I earn my salary from this, strange as it may sound here

3 July 2012 16:09

RedShadow
Number of messages: 143
Hey Lev

Yes I choose "effusive" because of the 'motion' it evokes; like, the dude is showing something lively, gesturing a lot.

The "wand" could be a real 'stick' used for presentations or maybe it is a metaphor.
I considered that case, and "a brush" came to mind.

However, well, I am lacking too much context.
So I did a 'basic' translation for this.

I am still unsure for who this text is meant to.
Are this 'instructions' for the Belgian 'editorial' service?
Or is it some kinda metaphoric text? Like an essay to be posted in the periodical?

I am at loss here

I like "pointer" though as I believe the dude "points" at something . But it removes the 'magical' side of it; that is, if it were a metaphor

Cya

3 July 2012 17:00

Lev van Pelt
Number of messages: 313
Hey RedShadow!

I was on the watch for your opinion.
And I agree with your view of a metaphorical stick or wand or rod or baton or pointer (even a brush, yes!)

In the end, you are right as well when regretting the lack of context… If I remember rightly, this was my first concern about this thread. So, I have to acknowledge that I’m as lost here as you are.
My Best regards,

Lev

3 July 2012 17:50

DazedAndConfused
Number of messages: 2
Thank you all so much and my humble apologies for my lack of response. This translation has been difficult but so rewarding as I've "discovered" trails that have lead to more insight.

Let me provide a bit more context - the author, I believe, is referring to "un panorama cylindrique" which he may have seen himself. Here is a link: http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panorama_Mesdag

How the "impressario" (which I interpreted as "artistic director" and am not confident with at all) explains the panorama to his audience, is stumping me. I translated "baguette démonstrative" as "demonstrative baton" and again, am not comfortable. Is there a more precise term for a conductor's baton (chef d'orchestre) perhaps?

3 July 2012 17:48

DazedAndConfused
Number of messages: 2
My apologies as well for the missing context. I am doing this for a novelist/friend who is very nervous about too much information being posted. When one google searches, however, using precisely the same words ...

6 July 2012 15:23

Lev van Pelt
Number of messages: 313
Hi DazedAndConfused!
Nice to meet you here.
About your question, I do not know a more adequate term for a conductor's baton than, precisely, "baton".

6 July 2012 16:44

RedShadow
Number of messages: 143
Hey

I like "baton" as it means a wand used by a conductor

Translation edited!