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Translation - English-Swedish - Journey

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Category Poetry - Arts / Creation / Imagination

Title
Journey
Text
Submitted by casper tavernello
Source language: English Translated by Urunghai

Only a part of the field is sowed
nevertheless, setting off on another journey

Roaming the paths
Eyelids swollen
Scent of smoke
Song of a cicada

Losing sight of the steep hills far away
nevertheless, setting off on another journey

Lights turned out
Unfinished streets
You are home no longer
There's nothing but a cove here

Let's see what the children are playing
Let's see what the children are playing
A soft and gentle voice is calling

After the storm

During a ritual of trains, tracks and tunnels
Who will go and join you
on your journey to nowhere?

Title
Resa
Translation
Swedish

Translated by Porfyhr
Target language: Swedish

Endast en del av fältet har såtts
men ändå, på väg på ny resa

Flackande på gångar
Svullna ögonlock
Doften av rök
En cikadas sång

Avståndet försvinner av de branta stupen,
oavsett det så är jag igen på resa

Belysningen släcks
Söndriga gator
Du är ej längre hemma
Här är det bara en håla

Låt se vad det är barnen leker
Låt se vad det är barnen leker
En mjuk och vän röst kallar.

Efter stormen

Under en ritual av tåg, räls & tunnlar.
Vem vill slå följe med dig där
på din resa till ingenstans?
Validated by Porfyhr - 19 September 2007 19:09





Last messages

Author
Message

14 September 2007 15:58

joy080
Number of messages: 2
hello

19 September 2007 16:53

Porfyhr
Number of messages: 793
Casper!

Vill du vara så snäll och läsa min översättning och se om jag fångat, eller, missförstått något.

Jag gör även den norska om ingen annan hinner före.


19 September 2007 18:42

casper tavernello
Number of messages: 5057
Why "långt borta, oavsett det så är jag på väg"?
The french>english one can give you a lot about the meanings of some parts of the text.
I'm a little busy right now but I trust you to make an excellent job.
The other parts of the text are pretty good.

Thanks Jim!

19 September 2007 19:07

Porfyhr
Number of messages: 793
Casper!
I have worked intensely on the translations (this is what I like!). The Swedish translations was a bit more difficult as we tend to use more conjunctions than Norwegian.

I have checked the Norwegian with my ex so it is true Norwegian (I didn't have to change anything, PROUDLY!)

May I ask what you are going to do with this poem?
/Jim

19 September 2007 19:42

casper tavernello
Number of messages: 5057
Oh!
I just didn't understand why you are using first person on the third paragraph and not just repeating the sense of the first one, as it is more like a narrative text.


I am declaiming poetry with a few friends and my girlfriend (she likes it the most), and sometimes I declaim some translations of my cucumis' friends.