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Prevod - Poljski-Francuski - Na przyszłość platoniczną...

Trenutni statusPrevod
Ovaj tekst je raspoloziv na sledecim jezicima: PoljskiEngleskiFrancuskiItalijanski

Kategorija Poeta - Ljubav / Prijateljstvo

Natpis
Na przyszłość platoniczną...
Tekst
Podnet od Aneta B.
Izvorni jezik: Poljski

Na przyszłość platoniczną

Marzeniem swoim
dotykam Twej twarzy
świeci miłością
zapowiadając wierność
w platonicznej przyszłości

Bezpieczna Twa obecność
zapewnia radość istnienia
zapewnia ciepłe milczenie
w zimÄ™ naszego trwania OBOK
Napomene o prevodu
British English, please.

Natpis
Pour un futur platonique
Prevod
Francuski

Preveo gamine
Željeni jezik: Francuski

Pour un futur platonique

Avec mon rêve
Je touche votre visage
qui rayonne d'amour
prédisant la fidélité
dans un avenir platonique

Votre présence à l'abri
assure la joie de l'existence
assure le silence chaud
tout au long de l'hiver, côte à côte.
Poslednja provera i obrada od Francky5591 - 21 Oktobar 2012 18:05





Poslednja poruka

Autor
Poruka

20 Oktobar 2012 12:06

Aneta B.
Broj poruka: 4487
Thanks, Lene, for the traslation!
I just wanted to say that the first line is missing.
You haven't translated: "For a platonic future..." (a tittle).

21 Oktobar 2012 02:58

gamine
Broj poruka: 4611
Sorry Aneta. have edited.

It's a very, very beautiful poem. It really touched me.

21 Oktobar 2012 11:41

Aneta B.
Broj poruka: 4487
Thank you, Lene! And it sounds magnificent in French (to me).
One question: Is it possible to make the last line shorter?

I know English line is a long one too, but Polish is pretty short as you see. I think it would be ok if we wrote:

"throughout the winter of our living BESIDE"
(this is actually what the Polish line says)

21 Oktobar 2012 13:43

lilian canale
Broj poruka: 14972
Hi Aneta,

I noticed the English version was evaluated 2 years ago and apparently at that time we didn't try to make the last line shorter. Do you want me to do it now so that the next languages to be translated will not have the same problem?

If so...what about:
"all over the winter living beside"?

21 Oktobar 2012 14:18

Aneta B.
Broj poruka: 4487
Hi Lilly,

Yes, it would fit perfectly here.
Thank you for your help and watchfulness.

21 Oktobar 2012 14:25

Aneta B.
Broj poruka: 4487
BTW. I'm sorry it seems I became more demanding after these two years.

21 Oktobar 2012 14:27

lilian canale
Broj poruka: 14972
Done!

21 Oktobar 2012 18:04

Francky5591
Broj poruka: 12396
I edited the French version accordingly (shortening last line)

21 Oktobar 2012 21:26

Aneta B.
Broj poruka: 4487
côte à côte! Super!

I just wanted to point out that in the expression "winter living" the "winter" is an adjective for "living" ...

Thank you very much, Lene, Lilly and Francky - the best team ever!