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Traduko - Pola-Angla - Podziwiam Prawo Twe Stwórco

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Tiu teksto haveblas en la sekvaj lingvoj: PolaAngla

Titolo
Podziwiam Prawo Twe Stwórco
Teksto
Submetigx per Aneta B.
Font-lingvo: Pola

Dałeś nam Ziemię swoją
i pouczyłeś
by była kochana
Bliźniego postawiłeś niczym krzyż
i pouczyłeś
by był kochany

WOLNOŚĆ dałeś

by MIŁOŚĆ rozdała
Rimarkoj pri la traduko
British English

Titolo
I admire Thy law, o Lord
Traduko
Angla

Tradukita per iluvmilka
Cel-lingvo: Angla

Thou hast given us Thine Earth
And taught us
To love her
Thou hast given us our neighbours as a cross to bear
And taught us
To love them

Thou hast given FREEDOM
for LOVE to distribute
Laste validigita aŭ redaktita de kafetzou - 18 Oktobro 2009 18:26





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Afiŝo

19 Septembro 2009 23:07

Aneta B.
Nombro da afiŝoj: 4487
Beautiful, Ania!!!

I would only like to put in some archaic words like in the previous poem of mine:


I Admire your law, oh Lord --> I Admire Thy law, (oh) Lord

the Earth of yours -->the Earth of Thee


19 Septembro 2009 23:17

kafetzou
Nombro da afiŝoj: 7963
You could use the archaic "you" throughout - if you don't, it sounds a little strange in English:

Thou hast given us Thine Earth
And taught us
To love her
Thou hast (put up our neighbours like a cross)
And taught us
To love them

Thou hast given FREEDOM
for LOVE to distribute

The part that I put in parenthesis I don't understand. Is this an expression in Polish? It has no meaning in English (to put someone or something up like a cross = ???).

19 Septembro 2009 23:18

kafetzou
Nombro da afiŝoj: 7963
Sorry - I missed the title (it's not in the translation field:

I Admire Thy Law, O Lord

19 Septembro 2009 23:22

Aneta B.
Nombro da afiŝoj: 4487
Wow! How archaic it is! Even "hast" as "have"!

Ania didn't know I wanted it to have archaic... (I forgot to type it in the remark field)

19 Septembro 2009 23:25

kafetzou
Nombro da afiŝoj: 7963
Well, you can't say "thou have" in English - it's either all the way or not at all.

19 Septembro 2009 23:27

Aneta B.
Nombro da afiŝoj: 4487
Yes, we often forget about titles, meanwhile they are important ingredients of the poems...

Since you've chosen "Thy Law", so shouldn't be "Thy Earth", Laura?

19 Septembro 2009 23:43

Aneta B.
Nombro da afiŝoj: 4487
Laura "to put someone or something up like a cross" isn't any idiomatic expression. This is other metaphor of mine... I meant that God gave us people (our brothers/fellow men/neighbours) as a cross, because we have to share their cares and problems... Is it clear now?

And even they are like a cross for us, we should love them... This is a real meaning...

16 Oktobro 2009 19:40

Aneta B.
Nombro da afiŝoj: 4487
Admire Thy law, (oh) Lord

Thou hast given us Thine Earth
And taught us
To love her
Thou hast given our neighbours like a cross to us
And taught us
To love them

Thou hast given FREEDOM
for LOVE to distribute


Can it be acceptable, Lilly??

CC: lilian canale

16 Oktobro 2009 21:03

lilian canale
Nombro da afiŝoj: 14972
I'm sorry Aneta, but like Kafetzou, I still haven't gotten the exact meaning of that line.

Could it be:

"Thou hast given us our brothers to carry like a cross"?


16 Oktobro 2009 21:40

Aneta B.
Nombro da afiŝoj: 4487
Thank you Lilly for your quick answer!

Well,this Polish line has a methaphorical meaning. It is not any Polish idiom, but only a kind of methaphor of mine.

So,
brothers/neighbours = a cross

--> to place/stand/put up brothers as a cross

How do you call in English the action of "placing the cross in a ground"?

but we can add the word "to carry". We haven't got it in the source, but I like it and it completes the meaning in a great way!

16 Oktobro 2009 22:40

lilian canale
Nombro da afiŝoj: 14972
That would be "stick (thrust into) the ground", I guess.

What about:

"Thou hast stuck our brothers into us like a cross (into the ground)"?

16 Oktobro 2009 23:00

Aneta B.
Nombro da afiŝoj: 4487
Great, Lilly!!! (without the words in brackets will be fine)
Thank you so much!


16 Oktobro 2009 23:49

kafetzou
Nombro da afiŝoj: 7963
Oops - sorry, girls - I didn't see any of these comments until now!

1) Aneta, if you don't put the title in the translation field, it might not be translated with care - the title field is just for the title of the translation request, and translating it does not give the translator any points.

2) In English, we have the expression "a cross to bear", so I would suggest the following:

I admire Thy law, o Lord

Thou hast given us Thine Earth
And taught us
To love her
Thou hast given us our neighbours as a cross to bear
And taught us
To love them

Thou hast given FREEDOM
for LOVE to distribute


Just one question: Who did the Lord give freedom to? Should it be "given us FREEDOM"?

16 Oktobro 2009 23:54

Aneta B.
Nombro da afiŝoj: 4487
ad.1 (firstly) Yes, I know, Laura, I'm still forgetting about titles...I'm sorry. I will do my best to correct myself.

ad.2 (secondly) Your version is just fantastic! Period!

17 Oktobro 2009 00:51

Aneta B.
Nombro da afiŝoj: 4487
But, Laura, I like Lilian's proposition very much too and it is difficult for me to decide which is better.

I'd like iluvmilka uttered the word before accepting this translation, ok? She knows Polish and English very well, so her opinion, and Lilian's opinion of course, is very important too.

CC: lilian canale

18 Oktobro 2009 18:26

kafetzou
Nombro da afiŝoj: 7963
iluvmilka has voted for the translation as it stands. I'm going to accept it.

18 Oktobro 2009 22:50

Aneta B.
Nombro da afiŝoj: 4487
Thank you girls!