翻译 - My heart is a crazy admiral (英语)

bit by bit pode ser pouco a pouco.

Hi Diego

Maybe you could use "bit by bit" or "little be little".

I'll open a poll because I don't speak Portuguese.

Bises
Tantine

Wow, Angelus

Your Ewok is the fastest in the west!!

We posted at exactly the same moment, and to say exactly the same thing

Bises
Tantine

hahaha I noticed that!

Still the English should be better. It really doesn't feel right the way it is now.

Hi,

What about something like:

My heart is a crazy admiral
Who gave up his life at sea
To remember, at home, bit by bit
Wandering, wandering

I find that the word "wandering" is quite good here, as it invokes both physically walking, and "wandering" through ones memories, souvenirs, longings...

Hope this helps
Bises
Tantine

Oh, I like that much more. That does it for me.

Hi Tantine, Angelus and Dramati!

I agree with you and I have some more suggestions:

The word "it" is missing in the 3rd line:
"remembering it little by little"

And the last line, Tantine, means that the person is at home with nothing else to do, just walking around. I would translate as "rambling and rambling at home", or something like that.

Kisses,
Li

Hi, Tantine,

I've just seen your last message, that's great, "wander" will do fine.

-Little by little.
-"at home" is an appositive.

I quite like "rambling" (which still has memory connotations) but it is more walking in the countryside, with shorts and hiking boots than "at home".

Maybe Diego could make the edits we have suggested, then I will reset the poll.

Bises
Tantine

Remebering how to ramble.
I remeber that whilst I'm home.

Ok, Tantine! There's nothing better than learning from a native speaker, thank you for your comments!

Jesus Christ!
I thought it was brazilian-Portuguese!
I beg you pardon.

So the text is kinda wrong.
He's remembering his job: "que abandonou a profissão do mar, e que a vai relembrando pouco a pouco"

My heart is a crazy admiral
who gave up his sea job
and goes remembering [the job] little by little
rambling, rambling at home

I support Tantine's version

profissão is occupation

But Tantine's version seems to me like this guy is saying that the reason for him to leave the sea life is his wish for "remembering" something.
Is it right, Tantine?

Who gave up his life at sea
[in order] To remember, at home, bit by bit

One more time having problems with poetry.

[8] We don't translate poems.

I agree with you, Casper:

"And remember it, little by little", and not "to remember it".

And I've noticed the word "job" as Lucila did. A job is more like an employment than a profession/occupation, right? I agree that "occupation" is better.

job => occupation.

Hi All

About the choice of the word "job" rather than "employment", "occupation", "profession" (etc) is the fact that the word is short and "to the point.

This translation is under the category "poetry", so poetic licence is not only "permitted", it is often "necessary", so as not to turn a short poetry into an Icelandic Saga

So I not only accept Diego's choice of this word, I applaud it.

Casper - I needed to change the "to" into "and", so now I think it's telling the right story =>

If I've got this right, the literal translation (into French) of:

e que a vai relembrando pouco a pouco
em casa a passear, a passear

would be

"et qui (s'en) va, rémemorant, peu à peu, à la maison, pour marcher, pour marcher"

My heart is a crazy admiral
Who gave up his life at sea
And remembers, at home, bit by bit
Wandering, wandering

I think it is telling the sad story of someone who regrets having given up on a relationship.

Since s/he (the heart) is no longer the "admiral" of that wonderful boat called "A love story", s/he can only sit alone (at home) and ruminate his/her regrets.

But I might be wrong

Bises
Tantine

[9] At cucumis we love (Tantine loves) translating poetry but we cannot promise to make it rhyme (Tantine often does).