Translation - Italian-English - il palindromo

Hi Irini,

This is a complete Palindrome poetry, written by Roberto Morassi.

I don't think we could reach a proper translation.

Palindromes are usually short sentences that can be translated approximately, but a complete poem turns out almost impossible to be translated making some sense.
I don't know if that is worth trying.
I suppose you have a translation to evaluate so you asked for this version in English. I have already rejected two of them, I'm sure the translators didn't even imagine what a palindrome is.
What do you think?

Well I have a translation request I know what a palindrome is and I know they can't really be translated but the thing is, I can't even understand the meaning of the original I mean my Italian is bad as it is, but with this particular one I just can't understand a thing. A non poetic translation could work perhaps?

Perhaps xini could help us here.

What do you say xini?
Could you take the chance and try to build an understandable bridge?
We are lost to evaluate the translations...

CC: Xini

You can also ask Botica, he speaks good Italian as well

CC: Botica

Troppo lungo e complicato :S purtroppo non ho molto tempo
potreste chiedere a Ali84

CC: ali84

Wow, that's quite a hard work to do :S the italian poetry is not easy, I can understand Irini
I'll try to build a decend bridge and post it later on today.

You are so kind and helpful all! Thank you so much! Grazie mille cucamici

Cool, I like cucamici!!
So, back to the poetry.. I did a very litteral translation:

Oh new city, Love flashes you,
the art knots you. It swims on it, at night,
ideal Death. I saw crazy, swift,
tighten, Goddess, the neat levels
but Eve’s side, no! Ship of Italy
thousand greedy pusillanimous small fingers draw
under wrecks of sail, and behind
salty sea, unique woman: you!
Between the romans I had been living in it, an attic…

"unica donna / unique woman" may be also read as "the only woman there".
"tra le romane / between the romans" referres to something unclear: it is feminine and could be a name or an adjective.

It sounds messy, but it's the same feeling you get when you read the original one

O new city, love illuminates you,
art embraces you. Evening is bathing us,
Ideal death. I saw the fool, quickly,
hugging you, Divine, you sharp sides
but Eve's ribs, no! Ship of Italy
a thousand vile little fingers pull
under shreds of sail, and behind
salt sea, unique woman: you!
Amidst roman women, I lived in, an attic...

Interesting, no, this coordination!
And this unanimity!

Good luck for your choice!





for all

Hi Lilian, good work but "ratto" means fast/quick, it's a typical poetic term

Thanks Ali, I'll edit.

the meaning is right. as already said however, it's impossible to reach a perfect translation in a language different from italian, since it is a palindrome

Well, we all seem to be having fun with this, so here's my version, too!
---
O new city, Love illumines you,
Art embraces you. We are bathed in twilight,
the ideal death. I saw the crazy one, quickly,
hold you, O Divine one, your sides neat,
but Eve's ribs, no! Vessel from Italy
a thousand little vile, avid fingers pull
under the shreds of the sail, and behind
the salty sea, a unique woman: you!
I lived among roman women, under the roofs...
---
Thanks for the fun, Irini!