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Translation - Japanese-English - 我々が歩んできた世界のパラレルワールド・・・...

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Title
我々が歩んできた世界のパラレルワールド・・・...
Text
Submitted by ミハイル
Source language: Japanese

我々が歩んできた世界のパラレルワールド・・・
1963年に起こったキューバ危機により、ロシアはアメリカへと核ミサイルを発射し、 米露核戦争が勃発。これにより、ワシントンとモスクワが同時に核の炎に包まれ、アメリカとロシアは崩壊。 資本主義と社会主義のリーダー国を同時に失った世界は混沌と化し、世界各地で内戦、民族紛争、侵略戦争が起こった。戦争の波紋が世界の秩序を崩壊させ、この星を荒廃させるのに時間はかからなかった。世界崩壊40年後の2003年・・・舞台はメキシコ・・・南米から、アジアから、ヨーロッパから・・・多くの移民が流れ込んできたために多国籍化したメキシコシティー・・・人々はこの街を"希望の街"と呼んだ。街には銃や 麻薬、死が溢れ、街はギャングたちによって支配されていた。
誰かが間違った世界・・・誰かが腐らせたこの街・・・そして誰かが残した絶望・・・・そんな下らない世界なんか全部ぶっ壊して希望をひきずりだしてやる!
Remarks about the translation
American english.This is a explanation.
This sentence is literary style,so it is needed to translate into literary style.

Title
A Parallel World
Translation
English

Translated by IanMegill2
Target language: English

A parallel world, beside the one we knew and lived in:
In 1963, at the height of the Cuban Missile Crisis, the USSR lauched a nuclear missile at the USA, which led to full-scale war between their two countries. Washington and Moscow were both enveloped in flames, and the two nations were utterly destroyed. The world simultaneously lost the twin pillars of its two leading socio-economic systems, capitalism and socialism, and was left struggling to find a coherent worldview to replace them. Across the globe, there were civil wars, separatist uprisings and attempts by nation-states to assimilate their neighbours by armed force. Finally, utter confusion reigned wordwide, and the earth was threatened with complete nuclear devastation, perhaps even outright destruction of the planet itself...
Forty years have passed, and it is now 2003... The place is Mexico, Mexico City, to which so many people have escaped for refuge from the terrors of war. They have come from all over the world -- South America, Asia, Europe -- and Mexico City is now rich with the cultures of many nations. People once called it "the City of Hope," but it is now a city of nightmares: the streets are completely controlled by gangs that deal in guns, drugs and death.
Whose mistakes put the world in the state it is in today? And who are the rats, now gnawing the life out of this city? I, for one, have not yet given up hope for a better life! I'm going to smash the elements of evil, of confusion and destruction, and find the light of hope for all humankind once again!
Remarks about the translation
This is a little loose even by my standards, but the request was for a "literary" translation, and in literature there's so much in Japanese that just doesn't make the jump into literal English, and vice versa. I strove to include every important detail in the original Japanese, and erred on the side of "fleshing it out." If this is found unacceptable, I would be happy to do a "bare-bones" version too, but I think an English native speaker would find it much less comfortable -- and enjoyable -- to read.

As just one example, at the end there is the phrase
"I'm going to smash the elements of evil, of confusion and destruction"
This was literally, in Japanese,
"I'm going to smash this stupid world"

'Nuff said?

My only flagrant mis-translation at the semantic level was, again near the end:
And who are the rats, now gnawing the life out of this city?
Which literally was
And who are those responsible for the rotting of this city?
I made it more active and visual, so as to place greater responsibility on the criminals and give rise to greater disgust and anger in the reader.
If the literal translation is preferred, please cut and paste it in.

(It was hard to make the ending convincing...)
Last validated or edited by kafetzou - 22 September 2007 14:32