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Translation - Hebrew-English - נולדת בשבילי

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This translation request is "Meaning only".
Title
נולדת בשבילי
Text
Submitted by chicita
Source language: Hebrew

את הכי יפה בעולם
מלכת היופי שלי
רק איתך אני מרגיש קיים
נולדת בשבילי

Title
You were born for me
Translation
English

Translated by AspieBrain
Target language: English

You are the most beautiful in the world
My queen of beauty
Only with you I feel I exist
You were born for me
Validated by lilian canale - 10 September 2008 16:10





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5 September 2008 21:19

C.K.
จำนวนข้อความ: 173
קיים = exist not complete.

6 September 2008 09:11

libera
จำนวนข้อความ: 257
2 things:
I would change 'queen of beauty' to 'beauty queen' - sounds more natural in English and also reflects what I believe was the speaker's meaning.
I would change 'born for me' to 'made for me' - I think it sounds better in English.
Come to think of it, 'most beautiful in the world' - sounds like it needs an object, like 'woman' or 'girl'.

6 September 2008 11:11

AspieBrain
จำนวนข้อความ: 212
I translated it being true to the original Hebrew text.
I do not agree about the beauty queen cause the person is not taking part in some competition to be titled beauty queen, but a supreme title of queen of all beauty in the world meaning a marvel!
There is a subtle difference between the two. And I as the translator chose the one I saw more fit.

The hebrew text does not say born says made, meaning created for me. If anything needs to be replaced then created for me is what I would use instead of made for you. But then again, there is a famous song that says "you were made for loving me baby, I was made for loving you" so made for is perfectly good and correct English!

Finally, I do not see why I need to add a word when it is not there in the original. I also considered adding the word woman or girl but I do not know the age of the person that is receiving this poem, I decided against it.

Thank you for the suggestions but I will remain with my original choice of words and wording.

7 September 2008 20:41

libera
จำนวนข้อความ: 257
Here's another idea:
'The fairest in the world' or 'in the land'.
BTW, it is actually from the lyrics of a popular song, and the way I've always understood it was 'my beauty queen', as in the most beautiful, though untitled, woman in the world.
And finally, you seem to agree with me on the 'made for' instead of 'born for'. I still think it is worth changing.

8 September 2008 03:11

AspieBrain
จำนวนข้อความ: 212
What about "the prettiest of all in the world" or maybe "the most beautifull in the world" or even "The most beautifull woman in the world" or even better "the most exquisite female on earth"

And the "made for" could also be "created for," "assembled for," delivered for," "placed here on earth for" ...

So, why exactly should I use your suggestions when there are so many more out there to choose from????

No specific reason at all. Your opinion is as good as mine. And I want to leave the translation as is.

Thank you


8 September 2008 07:19

libera
จำนวนข้อความ: 257
You can choose any of the options you gave. I'm proposing these suggestions because the English does not sound right to me. However, there are English experts around and they will decide the matter, won't they? No need to get angry, we're all on the same side.