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Translation - Turkish-English - Geçti istemem gelmeni Yokluğunda buldum seni ...

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กลุ่ม Poetry - Love / Friendship

Title
Geçti istemem gelmeni Yokluğunda buldum seni ...
Text
Submitted by erhankrkmz
Source language: Turkish

Geçti istemem gelmeni,
YokluÄŸunda buldum seni,
Bırak vehmimde gölgeni,
Gelme artık neye yarar.
Remarks about the translation
U.S english.
bu şiirin ilk dörtlüğünün çevirisinde şunu gördüm:
Seni beklediÄŸim kadar:Like i wait for you
burada "like" beklediğim kadarı tam olarak ifade etmiyor bana göre. çeviri şiiri en iyi şekilde ifade edersen çok memnun olurum.

Title
Geçti istemem gelmeni Yokluğunda buldum seni
Translation
English

Translated by silenthill
Target language: English

Too late.I don't want your coming back,
I have found you in your absence,
Be just a shadow in my mind,
Don't come now. No avail.
Validated by lilian canale - 29 March 2009 04:08





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27 March 2009 20:44

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
Hi silenthill,

What do you mean by: "Leave your shadow at my fantasy" ?

27 March 2009 21:18

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
Hi silenthill, messages should be sent under the translation that is being evaluated otherwise people will not understand the corrections.

Here's your message to my inbox:

Hi!
I do not have any idea about what you are trying to say to me. If the sentence "Leave your shadow at my fantasy" has no meaning in English, you can say it to me directly. I m trying to learn how to translate and to think in english.If you have a better translation for this sentence, you can suggest it.


Well, I think I didn't make myself understood.
What I'm asking is to say that line in a different way to see if the one you chose is the best to express the idea of the original. I don't read Turkish, therefore when I have to evaluate a translation that contains an ambiguous line I have to ask the real meaning. The sentence may be perfect gramatically, but it may not fit to the rest. See what I mean?
You don't have to get nervous about being questioned. That's a common evaluation step.
Now, can you tell me what you meant by: "Leave your shadow at my fantasy" ?

27 March 2009 21:30

silenthill
จำนวนข้อความ: 17
First of all I m sorry to respond your message in such a way but I did not know that you do not know Turkish and because of this reason i said " I do not have any idea about what you are trying to say to me" but i m really sorry.

The original sentence is "bırak vehmimde gölgeni" and i found that "vehim" means fantasy. So I thought that the writer say " i do not want you but the only thing ı want to do is dreaming about you. you are the person i like at my fantasy but not in real life anymore" It is the meaning i infered from the sentence and ı tried to express this meaning in such way.


27 March 2009 21:48

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
Hummm... well that explains it

What about:
"Be just a shadow in my mind" or
"Survive/stay alive only in my fantasy"?

Would that convey the meaning you understood?

27 March 2009 22:32

silenthill
จำนวนข้อความ: 17
Yes.I think these are better. thanks )

28 March 2009 19:16

grbz_94
จำนวนข้อความ: 21
Its falsee !!!

28 March 2009 20:14

silenthill
จำนวนข้อความ: 17
why? :S:S

1 April 2009 01:07

erhankrkmz
จำนวนข้อความ: 1
Geçti istemem gelmeni,
YokluÄŸunda buldum seni,
Bırak vehmimde gölgeni,
Gelme artık neye yarar.

Too late.I don't want your coming back,
I have found you in your absence,
Be just a shadow in my mind,
Don't come now. No avail.

i think there are some problem about translation...
i want to explan something about this poem to help translation...

A boy falls in love with a girl.he gives her first part of a poem about his feelings.
Neither patient waits for morning,
Neither grave waits for new dead,
Nor devil waits for the sin,
As much as i waited for you
but there is an other boy falls in love with same girl and girl tells him this sutiation and she says that she has to think to choose one of them. the boy says ok... he waits for her for months. waits and waits... one day she finds him and says that it's ok there's nobody in her life and she choose him. but the boy isn't surprised. he doesn't say anything. he just gives her second part of the poem and he leaves there.
It passed, i don't want you to come,
I've found you in your absence,
Leave in my fantasy your shadow,
Don't come anymore, no avail.

that's all. but i'm not sure about translation especially 2nd one because i'm not goot at english. i think someone who is good at english and turkis has to translate