Translation - Turkish-English - Basın ve sekin

Hi duguit

I quite like this little piece of wisdom
To make it sound a bit more natural in English, I would suggest this:

Meaning (could this be 'truth'? or maybe 'every meaning'?) is like a single stone that you step on when you are crossing a river.

It's just to step on, not to stay on.

Step and skip!

Be light and agile / graceful / nimble. ('lissom' is not really used at all in normal English.)

Don't stare at it, or your foot will wobble. The running water takes the inner you*. And you fall again.

I would say that it doesn't make any difference**, if there wasn't the desire to get out (to escape?), inside of you.

Freedom is, not to be focused on it***.


* I don't really understand this sentence. Does it mean the running water will draw you into the stream?
** does the text give any clue as to the meaning of this sentence? What doesn't make a difference?
*** any clue in the text of what 'it' may be?

*Akan su içinizi alır: "Akmakta olan su sizi büyüler, ruhunuzu içine çeker"

**Eğer içinizde çıkma isteği olmasaydı fark etmez derdim! : "içinizde sudan çıkma isteği olmasaydı, suyun sizi içine çekmesi sorun olmazdı: çünkü çıkmak veye suya karışmak aslında fark etmez"

***Özgürlük ona odaklanmamaktır.: "Özgürlük, diğer herşey gibi odaklanarak elde edilmez, işin sırrı yolculuktadır.

Thanks!

I hope this is useful for duguit because I don't speak Turkish - I am just trying to make the English translation sound better

You are really polite person Lein.
So I'm waiting from Duguit, if he/she want to modify something.
Thank you ver much to both of you.

well I really want to modify, but I don't know how )

maybe I can change some phrases through this message. first, here are some explanations:

"meaning" is exactly "meaning" in the turkish text, so "truth" is not ok, but in my opinion, it can be used "every meaning", to make it sound better. or maybe a technical expression of literature would be better.

and "like every single stone" - each one of the stones- is literally the same in the turkish text, and I think the origines of the problem are in the original text, although it is beautiful.

I already was not sure about lissom the english word for "kıvrak" is not any of these ones that you mentioned above, but something like flexible, but like the flexibility of a belly dancer.

*the running water takes the inner you, means "the running water fascinates you, takes your soul into the water", says Sibel. but the turkish text is just how I translated.

** "I would say that it doesn't make any difference if there wasn't the desire of getting out of the water inside of you. because there isn't any difference between getting out or being a part of water." says Sibel.

*** freedom is not to be focused on it: "freedom, like many other things, can't be owned just being focused on 'freedom', the knack is the journey" says Sibel. but again the original sentence is exactly how I translate it.

the original sentences are really difficult to translate like Sibel has explained we need to change the text to make it give the sense that Sibel wants.

so the text can be like that:

Meaning (or the other technical word) is like every single stone that you step on when you are crossing the river.

It's just to step on, not to stay on.

Step and skip!

Be light and ... (the missing word)

Don't stare at it, or your foot will wobble. The running water takes your soul. And you fall again.

I would say that it doesn't make any difference, if there wasn't the desire to get out of the water, inside of you.

Freedom is, not to be focused on it.

-but again, if you want me to translate it upto the sense, more than the words, I can do that too, but it changes the text a lot.

it is so nice to work with you, Lein I like your messages with emoticons all the time

and Sibel, it is really a beautiful text, I like it so much. trust in me, üstünde ince ince çalıştım ama kelimelere bağlı kalma, anlamı iyice ön plana al dersen açıklamalı da çevirebilirim. ama bu metni epey değiştirir. tercihi sana bırakıyorum.

yeap I could change it!

Wow, that's a long reply! It's great to work with you girls! I have put 'supple' in for 'kıvrak' - does that work?

I think in this case it probably is a good idea, like you suggested duguit, to translate the meaning and not stick to the words too literally. I think that is what you have done when you changed it and it is looking a lot better in English

I am still not quite sure about the last sentence. Could it be something like this?

Freedom just exists; focusing on it doesn't bring it about.

I have set a poll to see if someone else has any suggestions

(That means you can't edit at the moment, but if you want to edit, just let me know and I'll do it for you.)

Thank you both!

that's true, i talk so much sometimes just not to skip anything.

and yes, i agree. i could understand it better after Sibel's notes

and about the last sentence, your suggestion looks good, but i think it will be better to use just the second part: "Focusing on freedom doesn't bring it about". however, it changes the meaning a little bit. but i don't think that it's a big deal.

Merhaba yeniden duguit, ne demek istediğimi anladığını görüyorum, bu durumda düzeltilmiş halini tam olarak yeniden (orjinal metinden çok da sapmadan) verebilir misin?
Teşekkürlerimle

şu anda o şekilde hazırladığım metin görünüyor zaten. orjinalini hemen hemen hiç değiştirmeden yapılabilecek ve anlamı en net verebilecek çeviri bu. Lein son cümleye biraz takılmış o cümlenin şu anki çevirisi tam olarak senin verdiğin metne bağlı. Lein daha açık olması için biraz daha değiştirilmiş bir öneri getirdi. o da kulağa hoş gelen bir cümle oldu, tam anlamı "özgürlüğe odaklanmak onu getirmez".

şu anki hali : her bir anlam nehri geçerken üzerine bastığın her taş gibidir/Sadece üzerine basmak içindir, üzerinde kalmak için değil!/basın ve sekin/hafif ve kıvrak olun/gözünüzü ayağınıza dikmeyin, yoksa ayağınız titrer/akan su ruhunuzu alır/ve yine düşersiniz/eğer içinizde sudan çıkma isteği olmasaydı fark etmez derdim!/özgürlük ona odaklanmamaktır.

eğer yok olmamış tam çeviri istiyorum dersen söyle lütfen, ilk yaptığımı kopyalar gönderirim tekrar

bu arada, supple yerine lithe kullanmanın daha uygun olacağı kanaatindeyim.

@Lein: the word for "kıvrak" is "lithe", upto the oxford dictionary

OK, it's back to 'lithe'
I have also changed the last sentence.

Dear friends,
I suppose we are adding some new words to the original. We can't do that because we don't know full text. We have to take the original text as it is. e.g.
Last Line:
Özgürlük ona odaklanmamaktır...> Freedom is, not to be focused on it.

Thanks merdogan,
we did that because the phrase you suggest (which was indeed the original translation) doesn't really have any meaning. Via the discussion above, we decided to change it into what we have now, which is not the literal translation, but translates the meaning better (as far as I understood from duguit and Sibel Atasoy, as I can't speak Turkish).

Thank you verymuch for everyone.
My credit is full now so ı can not ask a new short ona

i will use this "lithe" word every single day so in time it will become used a lot in daily english

I think 'lithe' is actually a lot more common than 'lissom' (although personally, I don't tend to use either )