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Translation - Portuguese brazilian-English - Jesus muda a história!!!

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This text is available in the following languages: Portuguese brazilianEnglish

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This translation request is "Meaning only".
Title
Jesus muda a história!!!
Text
Submitted by mauro sergio
Source language: Portuguese brazilian

Eu vou mudar a tua história;
De derrota e de dor.
Dar-te um novo coração;
Cheio de vitória e amor!


Eu sei por onde tens andado;
Vejo teu futuro conheço teu passado.
Sei tudo que se passa com voce;
És livre para qual caminho escolher!


Os teus erros Eu posso corrigir;
Teus pecados na Cruz assumi.
Pois vim pra restaurar teu coração;
Pra que não desanimes em tua missão!
Remarks about the translation
É apenas uma canção que nasceu através de uma oração, fique a vontade para corrigi-la, tornar mais fácil a trdução. Mui grato!!!

Title
Jesus changes the history!!!
Translation
English

Translated by goncin
Target language: English

I'll change your history
Of defeat and pain,
To give you a new heart
Full of victory and love again!

I know where you have wandered;
I foresee your future I know your past.
I know everything what happens to you;
You're free to choose your Way at last.

Your mistakes I can correct;
Your sins, upon the cross I paid;
I came to restore your heart
So that, in your mission, you will keep faith.
Remarks about the translation
I'm not sure regarding which is the best form: "defeat and pain history" or "history of defeat and pain".
Validated by Tantine - 14 September 2007 14:00





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14 September 2007 12:44

Tantine
จำนวนข้อความ: 2747
Hi Goncin

I think "your history of defeat and pain" would be better as you suggest. (Then you can use the word "again" at the end of the last line of this first verse in order to recreate a rhyme.

Are you sure it is "had" and not "have" in first line of the second verse? Also the verb is "choose", not "choice" in the last line(I've edited this one already. The third line is a little bit difficult to understand. Do you mean "I know everything (there is to know) about you?

This could give something similar to:

"I'll change your history
Of defeat and pain,
To give you a new heart
Full of victory and love again!

I know where you have wandered;
I foresee your future, I know your past.
I know all there is to know of you;
You're free to choose your Way at last.

Your mistakes, I can correct;
Your sins, upon the cross I paid;
I came and restored your heart
So that, in your mission, you will keep faith.

Bises
Tantine

14 September 2007 13:09

goncin
จำนวนข้อความ: 3706
Hi, Tantine!

Very nice you tried to keep the rhymes! Thanks!

Just some points:

1) It's "have", indeed, I just got confused with these compound past verbal forms.

2) Yes, the verb is "to choose" - where did I lose my head?

3) "Sei tudo que se passa com voce" -> "I know everything what happens to you". Very litteral, but clear and working.

3) You wrote "...upon the cross I paid...". I know you're looking for the rhyme, but "assumi" means "I took [one's debt for future payment] on". What can we do regarding this?

4) On penultimate verse, I restored the word "because", "because" there's a cause-consequence relationship with the previous one.

14 September 2007 13:19

Tantine
จำนวนข้อความ: 2747
Hi Goncin

It's the typical way of talking about sins, one "pays" for them so it's more than fitting here I think.

About the "because", if we keep it in the third line of the last verse, we need to remove the "So that" in the fourth line, otherwise we have two "cause/consequence" locutions in the same phrase ("because" and "so that" are both between the semi colon and the full stop)

If I have understood it is because Jesus has filled this heart that the mission can be accepted.

Bises
Tantine

14 September 2007 13:26

goncin
จำนวนข้อความ: 3706
In this case, Tantine, I removed "because". Let me "pay" for my "sin", hehe!

I guess it's just fine now. What do you think?

14 September 2007 14:02

Tantine
จำนวนข้อความ: 2747
Hi Goncin,

You've been "payed" too, I've validated your translation so you have lots of lovely cucumis points to spend

Bises
Tantine