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Перевод - Английский-Французский - If I were you - Hoobastank

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Данный текст доступен на следующих языках: АнглийскийКаталанскийФранцузский

Категория Песня - Любoвь / Дружба

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If I were you - Hoobastank
Tекст
Добавлено OdePierre
Язык, с которого нужно перевести: Английский

You seem to find the dark
When everything is bright
You look for all that's wrong
Instead of all that's right
Does it feel good to you
To rain on my parade?
You never say a word
Unless it's to complain
It's driving me insane

If I were you
Holding the world right in my hands
The first thing I'd do
Is thank the stars for all that I have
Комментарии для переводчика
Quote from the song "If I were you" by Hoobastank.
"To rain on one's parade" is an idiom, it would be great if translators could find the corresponding idiom in their language. Otherwise, a literal translation is fine too.

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Si j'étais toi - Hoobastank
Перевод
Французский

Перевод сделан Francky5591
Язык, на который нужно перевести: Французский

Tu ne vois que de l'ombre
Là où tout est lumière
Tu t'en vas vers l'erreur
Et fuis la vérité
Éprouves-tu du plaisir
À me gâcher ma fête[?]
Tu ne dis pas un mot
Si ce n'est pour te plaindre
Et cela me rend fou

Si comme toi, j'avais le monde à mes pieds,
La première chose que je ferais
Serait de rendre grâce aux étoiles
Pour ce qu'elles m'ont donné
Комментарии для переводчика
Je n'ai pas traduit littéralement certains passages, ex : "If I were you, holding the world right in my hands", j'ai idiomatisé la traduction et mis de côté le participe présent pour plus de fluidité.
Idem pour la denrière strophe : "for all that I have" => pour tout ce qu'elles m'ont donné" (en parlant des étoiles)
*
Autre possibilité de traduction de la dernière partie du texte(suggérée par Lev) :
Si j'étais toi
Et que le monde m'appartenait
la première chose que je ferais
serait de rendre grâce aux étoiles
Pour tout ce que j'ai
Последнее изменение было внесено пользователем Francky5591 - 14 Август 2012 22:57





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13 Июль 2012 02:02

Lev van Pelt
Кол-во сообщений: 313
Hi Francky!
I see you've faced this text as well. Apart from some minor -and very interesting- differences in interpretation, which I like, and will take into account; I'm most interested in your reading of the last stanza, which I've translated literally (after considering first the same meaning that you have chosen to give).
But I keep my doubts about this point. Had I read “If I were holding like you...” or something similar, I would have taken, of course, your same approach –or almost; eluding any mention of the foot, as opposite as they are to the hands
I would like very much to read your comment at this respect, and try to reach, if needed, a better understanding of the text.
Right now –as yesterday-, the more I read this sentence (“Holding the world right in my hands...”) , the more it seems to me like a metaphorical prelude to the invocation: a convenient attitude for the thanksgiving of the singer; nothing to do with the alluded person.
What do yo think?

13 Июль 2012 18:56

Francky5591
Кол-во сообщений: 12396
Hi Lev!

Yeah, as I don't like too much "If I were you" translated into French as it sounds too common, in the real and ordinary life everyone can hear that "si j'étais toi...." then follow "easy" advices (good or bad whatsoever)... First thing. Then after I found a way to translate this otherwise than using this "si j'étais toi...", I had a look at the present participle and told me I wouldn't translate it literally either, as in French it sounds rather heavy, so I tried to find a way that would let the line be lighter, yet explicite. I explained this in the remarks field in French.

Idiomatic expression "holding the world in one's hands", as strange as it may sound, is indeed translatable by "avoir le monde à ses pieds", here "à ses pieds" does not put the stress on the feet, it's just that the world (all the people or nearly) worship her/him, the metaphoric meaning is that the world (people) bow down and/or crawl before her/him (adoration), at the level of her/his feet. If one does abstraction of the world's inhibitants, it is then alluding material goods, properties, lands, thus talking about someone who's f...very rich.

You said : "the more it seems to me like a metaphorical prelude to the invocation: a convenient attitude for the thanksgiving of the singer..."

Do you mean the singer is actually talking to himself (inner voice, inner conflict?) Well, this could be, but with this kind of text several interpretations are possible.

I think the singer is not obligatorily talking about himself, but possibly about someone else, or even a purely fictive person, someone matching the depiction he did from some human mental flaws (like having everything and never being satisfied with it)Saying "yes, you should be thankful, instead of bitching or complaining about everything."

Does it answer your questions, or did I misunderstand something you were willing to put the stress on?




13 Июль 2012 12:18

gamine
Кол-во сообщений: 4611
Hi Francky. I find your translating simply perfect.
And concerning Lev's question about "hand" or "feet" only a native, or someone having lived for a long time in France can understand, at least I think, that in French it is : "avoir le monde à ses pieds.
I'm going to accept this very good tranlation right now.

13 Июль 2012 12:46

Francky5591
Кол-во сообщений: 12396
This is very kind of you Lene!

But Lev may be right, no one knows yet the real meaning from these words, so don't take it bad, but I'll reset my translation to evaluation until we find out what could be the real meaning from especially the last part of this short text.


13 Июль 2012 18:56

Francky5591
Кол-во сообщений: 12396
This part

If I were you
Holding the world right in my hands
The first thing I'd do
Is thank the stars for all that I have



I'll edit the part from my first message where I was talking about "gerundive "(correct way it reads is "gerund" moreover) while it is a present participle.

14 Июль 2012 03:27

Lev van Pelt
Кол-во сообщений: 313
Hi Francky!

Maybe you are right, but I continue to think that the strict words in the song do not suggest (at least, not clearly) the sense you give to them; and that the singer is referring to himself in this verse.
About the sentence "avoir le monde à mes/ses pieds", there are literal equivalents in Catalan and Spanish signifying exactly the same that in French. As I told above, I considered to use this idiom in my own translation into Catalan before changing my mind with respect to the meaning of these verses.
What I wanted to explain, but did not express well, was that there are in French, as well as in Catalan, (or so I believe), other idioms with which to avoid the “dichotomy” of “hands vs. foot”. And this, somehow, doesn’t sound me totally right (but that’s, of course, a matter of opinion and a secondary point).
About your comment on the relative vulgarity of the expression “Si j'étais toi”, I agree, being, as it is, also a commonplace in my own language. And in English as well... But that’s just what the text says; no more no less.

My main concern here would be to adequate my own translation as far as possible with yours (and this can be easily done, being Catalan and French so similar in many aspects). In fact I have edited it already, substituting for instance “lluent” for “brillant” (a synonym, but bringing better to the mind the reference to light.)
And, well, that’s the reason why I was eager to clarify my doubt about the last stanza.
I hope very much not to have disturbed you with my usual fastidiousness !

14 Июль 2012 16:40

Francky5591
Кол-во сообщений: 12396
Hi Lev!

" dichotomy of hands and feet... " hehe!

Feet do badly what hands can do, feet are situated at the very bottom of the body, feet when just off the shoes after a good walk often smell bad, and so on, while hands seem to take advantage of a nobler social representation in man's mind, which is upraisingly unfair towards this absolutely necessary part from the human body : The feet

Anglosaxons prefer thus using "hands" in this kind of expression, whereas latin languages apparently don't.

Well, here as it's just idomatic "avoir le monde à ses pieds" refers less to only the feet than to the person in her/his entirety.

To reconciliate these two extremities and to help blowing up in mind this dichotomy there's another expression in French that means "doing whatever is possible to do" : "Jouer des pieds et des mains", or "faire des pieds et des mains" (you'll notice "pieds" is placed before "hands" in this expression.

About "si j'étais toi, ..." vs "si comme toi..., "the latter also says exactly the same thing, no more, no less, just abstraction is done from the pronoun and the verb, but there is no tendancious interpretation in replacing one with the other, IMHO.

There's one thing with translations of songs lyrics, and you may have noticed this already, in most of the cases the translation differs from the original, so I'll leave the Catalan version as you prefer it and I won't let it matching mine.

You did not disturb me at all, dear Lev, it has always been a pleasure having dis-cussions with you under translations here at



31 Июль 2012 22:10

Lev van Pelt
Кол-во сообщений: 313
Hi, Cher Francky!
I forgot to tell you, weeks ago, that I edited my Catalan version according to your better point of view on this dubious passage in the last stanza (and managing somehow to elude « les pieds » ; which was possible in Catalan. Not at all that I’ve the least prejudice against them; it’s only a matter of symmetry with the original; a visual, as well as aural, reluctance


31 Июль 2012 23:29

Francky5591
Кол-во сообщений: 12396
I still don't agree with replacing feet with hands in the French version, as if we do, it may sound better, and be more ressembling the original version, but idiomatically "avoir le monde à ses pieds" is still the very fair translation from "holding the world in [one's] hands". Then if the text is about a lady, "avoir le monde à ses pieds" is more fitting the female gender's image, whereas "tenir le monde dans ses mains" would be more related to someone like a dictator (if you remind well Charlie Chaplin playing with the mappemonde in the movie)

Well, that's my point of view, and I may be wrong, but as it is my translation I'm pleading in its favor the harder I can.

Well, nous aurons fait des pieds et des mains pour arriver à cette traduction!

31 Июль 2012 23:53

Lev van Pelt
Кол-во сообщений: 313
He,he, he... Ouais! C'est bien vrai !
Nous sommes têtus...
But you have found a nice point with this scene from The Great Dictator... Hummmm... Yeah...