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27Translation - Italian-English - il palindromo

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Category Expression

Title
il palindromo
Text
Submitted by irini
Source language: Italian

O citta' nuova, ti balen'Amore,
l'arte t'annoda. Ci nuota, la sera,
Morte ideale. Vidi matto, ratto,
serrarti, Diva, i nitidi livelli
ma i lati d'Eva, no ! Nave d'Italia
mille vili ditini avidi trarre
sott'a'rottami di vela, e dietro
mare salato, unica donna: te!
Tra le romane l'abitavo, un attico....
Remarks about the translation
Αυτό είναιένα κειμενο "παλίνδρομο" (καρκινικό), διαβάζεται δηλαδή και από το τέλος προς την αρχή με το ίδιο νόημα. Έχει δημοσιευτεί στην εφηερίδα "La Stampa". Δυστυχώς, δεν μπορώ να βοηθήσω παραπάνω

Title
Oh novel city, may love enlighten you
Translation
English

Translated by lilian canale
Target language: English

Oh novel city, may love enlighten you,
art embraces you. Dusk, coats us,
Ideal death. I saw the mad, fast
tightening you, Diva, the sharp figure
but Eva's sides, no! Vessel of Italy
a thousand tiny fingers, vile and greedy, grasp
under the sail in tatters, at stern
salty sea, unique woman: you!
Among the Romans I lived, the summit...
Remarks about the translation
Impossible to get a palindrome when translating to another language.
I did my best, using all possible poetic licence!
I hope I got the right meaning.
Validated by Francky5591 - 22 May 2008 18:32





Last messages

Author
Message

12 May 2008 18:54

lilian canale
Number of messages: 14972
Hi Irini,

This is a complete Palindrome poetry, written by Roberto Morassi.

I don't think we could reach a proper translation.

Palindromes are usually short sentences that can be translated approximately, but a complete poem turns out almost impossible to be translated making some sense.
I don't know if that is worth trying.
I suppose you have a translation to evaluate so you asked for this version in English. I have already rejected two of them, I'm sure the translators didn't even imagine what a palindrome is.
What do you think?

12 May 2008 22:59

irini
Number of messages: 849
Well I have a translation request I know what a palindrome is and I know they can't really be translated but the thing is, I can't even understand the meaning of the original I mean my Italian is bad as it is, but with this particular one I just can't understand a thing. A non poetic translation could work perhaps?

12 May 2008 23:14

lilian canale
Number of messages: 14972
Perhaps xini could help us here.

What do you say xini?
Could you take the chance and try to build an understandable bridge?
We are lost to evaluate the translations...

CC: Xini

12 May 2008 23:26

Francky5591
Number of messages: 12396
You can also ask Botica, he speaks good Italian as well

CC: Botica

13 May 2008 11:37

Xini
Number of messages: 1655
Troppo lungo e complicato :S purtroppo non ho molto tempo
potreste chiedere a Ali84

CC: ali84

13 May 2008 13:27

ali84
Number of messages: 427
Wow, that's quite a hard work to do :S the italian poetry is not easy, I can understand Irini
I'll try to build a decend bridge and post it later on today.

13 May 2008 14:10

irini
Number of messages: 849
You are so kind and helpful all! Thank you so much! Grazie mille cucamici

13 May 2008 18:49

ali84
Number of messages: 427
Cool, I like cucamici!!
So, back to the poetry.. I did a very litteral translation:

Oh new city, Love flashes you,
the art knots you. It swims on it, at night,
ideal Death. I saw crazy, swift,
tighten, Goddess, the neat levels
but Eve’s side, no! Ship of Italy
thousand greedy pusillanimous small fingers draw
under wrecks of sail, and behind
salty sea, unique woman: you!
Between the romans I had been living in it, an attic…

"unica donna / unique woman" may be also read as "the only woman there".
"tra le romane / between the romans" referres to something unclear: it is feminine and could be a name or an adjective.

It sounds messy, but it's the same feeling you get when you read the original one

13 May 2008 17:48

Botica
Number of messages: 643
O new city, love illuminates you,
art embraces you. Evening is bathing us,
Ideal death. I saw the fool, quickly,
hugging you, Divine, you sharp sides
but Eve's ribs, no! Ship of Italy
a thousand vile little fingers pull
under shreds of sail, and behind
salt sea, unique woman: you!
Amidst roman women, I lived in, an attic...

13 May 2008 17:51

Botica
Number of messages: 643
Interesting, no, this coordination!
And this unanimity!

Good luck for your choice!





for all

21 May 2008 15:56

ali84
Number of messages: 427
Hi Lilian, good work but "ratto" means fast/quick, it's a typical poetic term

21 May 2008 14:59

lilian canale
Number of messages: 14972
Thanks Ali, I'll edit.

22 May 2008 03:57

pamparius
Number of messages: 2
the meaning is right. as already said however, it's impossible to reach a perfect translation in a language different from italian, since it is a palindrome

22 May 2008 05:56

IanMegill2
Number of messages: 1671
Well, we all seem to be having fun with this, so here's my version, too!
---
O new city, Love illumines you,
Art embraces you. We are bathed in twilight,
the ideal death. I saw the crazy one, quickly,
hold you, O Divine one, your sides neat,
but Eve's ribs, no! Vessel from Italy
a thousand little vile, avid fingers pull
under the shreds of the sail, and behind
the salty sea, a unique woman: you!
I lived among roman women, under the roofs...
---
Thanks for the fun, Irini!