Переклад - Іспанська-Англійська - "La Soledad" by Laura Pausini

I have reviewed your translation, Lilian and before anything, I would like to thank you for putting your time and effort into such a long translation.

It is clearly an accurate translation, however, not yet exactly what I want.

Perhaps try making the number of syllables present in the English translation equal to those in the original Spanish text. As it is a song, I would like the English translation to stay on beat with the song.

Of course that will require adding words that could potentially create slight redundancy, but that I do not mind.

If you need to rearrange lines within a particular stanza to facilitate things, that is quite alright, too as long as the message remains intact.

And of course, as you mentioned, English and Spanish are quite different in structure, so if you need to change things a bit for a better rhyme in English, by all means do so.

Be as creative as you'd like--I trust you!

Thank you.

WOW Triton, that's all I needed to read!

Just give me a bit more time and I'll get you a perfectly rhymed song in English (and in Portuguese as well )

Hi Triton,

I've been working on this English version the same way I did with the Portuguese one, I think it is a little better now. However I feel I can improve it.
Just need a little more time, OK?

Tell me what you think. Try to sing it and feel the time.

Hi Triton, your turn!

This was my best shot.

Hi Lilian

I have read through your translation and you did a very nice job.

I decided, however, to take a slightly different direction with the English translation, and as I was feeling quite creative today, I was able to come up with a translation on my own which I am satisfied with.

As a result, I will unfortunately have to reject your translation, but not at the cause of being bad, but instead, simply no longer required.

I would still like to thank by awarding you with 300 points for taking the time to help me.

Thank you so much, Lilly--I enjoyed working with you on both the English and Portuguese translations.

Also, in case you were interested, here is the finished product of what I produced for the English translation:


Marco’s gone; he’s never to be seen again
The early morning train arrives, but he’s not in
It’s a loveless heart carrying a metal soul
Throughout this city embraced by this bitter cold
At school his desk is empty, but he’s still in me
From my mind his sweet aroma will never leave
And distance isn’t great enough to break apart
The rhythm being shared by our two hearts

Perhaps if you’re thinking of me
But constantly in a bad mood
If all alone you choose to be
Then rush off to bed without food
And then you squeeze your pillow tight
And fight back tears throughout the night
Then you’ll no longer have to guess
That this pain deep inside your chest
Is caused by loneliness

In my scrapbook I’ve got a photo of you
You’ve got a shy boy’s eyes and a cute smile, too
I hold it against my heart and it’s like you're still here
Amongst all my English and Math assignments, dear
All of your dad’s advice is just the same old thing
Because of work and other problems happening
He took you far and without questions, just demands
Exclaiming: “One day you will understand.”

Perhaps if you’re thinking of me
And with your friends you simply try
To forget how it used to be
It will be hard, and that’s no lie
And school is now a complete bore
I just can’t take this anymore
The Afternoons are dry
I can’t deny
You’re always on my mind

It’s just not possible to break apart
The halves that make us complete
For that please reserve the love that’s in your heart
Let’s not let our dream go weak!

The loneliness between us two
This silence that invades my soul
The scary thought of living without you
Makes living life look dull
For that please wait for me because
Life lacks beauty without your love
It’s just not possible to break apart
The story we have begun

The loneliness between us two
This silence that invades my soul
The scary thought of living without you
Makes living life look dull
For that please wait for me because
Life lacks beauty without your love
It’s just not possible to break apart
The halves that make us complete

Oh, OK Triton.
I'm glad you got your own inspiration!

Don't worry about points, that's not the main aim of our work.

If I was able to help with any ideas I'm satisfied already.
Great work of yours, by the way! A lot better that the version I saw in the net.

Good luck at the talent show, post some photos later!

Hello everybody!
I've been following what happened here with interest, and here's what I'm going to do, which seems fair to me :

- I'll accept Lilian's translation, as she's been working hard on it and deserves the benefit from her work.

- I'll refund Triton his points from this translation request. Triton's work will also be awarded this way, being refund his point is actually equivalent to the fact he would have got them back if his own version was accepted instead of Lilian's

Hello Francky! I believe that you have taken the proper actions.

Lillian has been a tremendous help along this translation process, and I couldn't have asked for a better partner to work with.

And Lillian: You have been a huge inspiration, you can't imagine how many times I've tried to translate this into English in the past, you were my muse!

Thank you Francky and thank you Lillian--it was a great experience.