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翻译 - 巴西葡萄牙语-拉丁语 - Quero ser livre...

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本文可用以下语言: 巴西葡萄牙语拉丁语

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标题
Quero ser livre...
正文
提交 Deeesiiree
源语言: 巴西葡萄牙语

Quero ser livre pra voar,
Ser livre pra sentir o amor que a lua me ensinou.
Ser livre pra mostrar que o céu é logo ali.
Ser livre, ser o que sonhei.
给这篇翻译加备注
Gostaria muito de obter a tradução desse poema !!
Pois gosto muito dele

标题
Libera esse
翻译
拉丁语

翻译 alexfatt
目的语言: 拉丁语

Volo me liberam esse ut volem
Liberam esse ut amorem quem e luna didici sentiam
Liberam esse ut coelum instare monstrem
Liberam esse ut sim de quo me fore somniavi.
给这篇翻译加备注
Liberam = feminine form
Liberum = masculine form
Aneta B.认可或编辑 - 2011年 十一月 14日 16:12





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2011年 九月 24日 19:45

Aneta B.
文章总计: 4487
Hi Lilian,
Can I ask you a bridge, pls.

CC: lilian canale

2011年 九月 24日 22:51

lilian canale
文章总计: 14972
Before evaluating the translation, please ask Alex to adapt it to the edit I made in the original. I added "I want" in the beginning of the first sentence to fit our rules.

2011年 九月 25日 16:02

Aneta B.
文章总计: 4487
Alex, could you, pls.

2011年 九月 25日 16:26

alexfatt
文章总计: 1538
I hope I've made the right changes.

2011年 九月 25日 16:41

Aneta B.
文章总计: 4487
Lilian, can I ask you once more?

CC: lilian canale

2011年 九月 25日 18:43

lilian canale
文章总计: 14972
"I want to be free to fly,
To be free to feel the love the moon taught me.
To be free to show the sky is within a stone's throw (very close).
To be free, to be what I have dreamed (to be)."

2011年 九月 25日 23:21

Aneta B.
文章总计: 4487
Thanks!

-----

Hi Alex,

I've got some tips for you, if you don't mind:

1."ut amorem doctum a luna sentiam" sounds a bit unclear.
"ut amorem a luna doctum sentiam" would be so much clearer.
But as a matter of fact, I wouldn't use participium "doctum" here. It is too ambiguous, because it might be also an adjective.

What about:
"ut amorem quem ex luna didici sentiam"?

2. "ut monstrem coelum iam illic esse"
"monstrem" --> to the end of the sentence, please.
"coelum iam illic esse" --> coelum instare (=to be close)?

3. The most difficult one: "quod somniavi esse"
--> "ut is/id sim, de quo me esse somniavi"?

They are just my proposals. Tell me, Alex, whether you like them or not.


2011年 九月 25日 23:31

alexfatt
文章总计: 1538
Aneta

1. "ut amorem quem e luna didici sentiam"
You know, I always try to think "Latinly" and to translate by asking myself what an ancient Roman would have said.
It is not as easy as it may seem, but luckily I have you

2. "ut coelum instare monstrem"
I've never seen the verb "instare" before...

3. Yes, here I didn't make the right changes.
Can we drop "is/id"? Would "ut sim de quo me esse somniavi" sound weird?



Nice avatar! Whose are those eyes?

2011年 九月 25日 23:38

Aneta B.
文章总计: 4487
Unfortunately not mine, but they are so Cucumis-like...

No, it wouldn't. We can skip the subject (is/id) indeed.
Macte, amice!

2011年 九月 25日 23:51

alexfatt
文章总计: 1538
Gratias maximas tibi ago, magistra!

2011年 十一月 13日 22:18

Aneta B.
文章总计: 4487
I know we have already reached a consensus about the translation. However, I'd make one more change if you didn't mind, dear friend.

Liberam esse ut sim de quo me fore somniavi.

fore=futurum esse

How do you think?

2011年 十一月 14日 15:12

alexfatt
文章总计: 1538
I really like your suggestion! Sounds really "Latin"

2011年 十一月 14日 16:12

Aneta B.
文章总计: 4487