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Vertaling - Duits-Engels - Travel to Hawaii

Huidige statusVertaling
Deze tekst is alleen beschikbaar voor de volgende talen: DuitsEngels

Categorie Literatuur - Verkenning/Avontuur

Titel
Travel to Hawaii
Tekst
Opgestuurd door Minny
Uitgangs-taal: Duits

Ich lachte, zog das durchnässte Kleid aus und warf es in den Sand zusammen mit meiner Unterwäsche. Nackt warf ich mich den Wellen entgegen, spürte den gewaltigen Sog, ihr Ziehen an meinem Körper und das Wirbeln und Prickeln, das perlende Schäumen, wenn mich die Brandung überspülte. Schaumgeboren, dachte ich. Auf dem kohlschwarzen Sand ergoss sich die Gischt milchig weiß, wie Sahne. Immer wieder ließ ich mich in dieses Weiß fallen, tauchte unter, wurde genommen und wieder an Land gespült. Das Meer war warm, fast wärmer als die Luft und der Wind, der mich umfing und abermals ins Wasser warf. Und mehr und mehr fühlte ich in diesem wilden Spiel mit Wasser, Wind und wirbelndem Sand, eine Vitalität, ein mich Wollen und eine Lust, mich einfach hingeben zu wollen, mich treiben zu lassen. Ich hatte keine Angst mehr vor den Wellen.
Ich legte mich in den schwarzen Sand und ließ mich von der Luft trocknen. Das Salz klebte in einer zarten Schicht auf meiner Haut.
Details voor de vertaling
British or US English, please

Titel
Travel to Hawaii
Vertaling
Engels

Vertaald door kafetzou
Doel-taal: Engels

I laughed, took off the soaking wet dress and threw it in the sand with my underwear. Naked, I threw myself against the waves, felt the powerful tug, the way they pulled on my body, the whirling and prickling, the pearly foaming, as the waves broke over me. Born of the foam, I thought. On the sand, black as coal, the spray spread out milky white, like cream. I let myself fall into this whiteness again and again, dove under, was taken along and spilled out on land again. The sea was warm, almost warmer than the air and the wind, which caught me up and threw me into the water again. And more and more I felt, in this wild game with water, wind and whirling sand, a vitality, a longing for me, and a desire to simply give myself over, to let myself be driven. I was no longer afraid of the waves.
I lay down in the black sand and let myself be dried out by the air. The salt stuck in a tender layer on my skin.
Details voor de vertaling
U.S. English. Change "dove" to "dived" for British.
Translator's note: Gischt = Schaum, oder ist es was anderes?
Laatst goedgekeurd of bewerkt door lilian canale - 7 februari 2015 16:15





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23 januari 2015 22:41

merdogan
Aantal berichten: 3769
Dear kafetzou,
Good work
I laughed took off ....I laughed, took off ...
I lay down...> I laid down...

24 januari 2015 10:14

kafetzou
Aantal berichten: 7963
"I laughed, took off" is correct - thank you. I would change it, but appparently it's locked for evaluation.

As for "lay down" it is the past tense of "lie down", so it is correct. "Laid down" is the past tense of the transitive verb "to lay".

2 februari 2015 18:35

Pashikane
Aantal berichten: 34
"the way it " should be "the way they".
"and spilled out on land. " should be "and spilled out on land again. "
"almost warmer as " should be "almost warmer than"
"wanting me" should be "a wanting me", even though it sounds strange in English.
Besides that, good work.

3 februari 2015 07:46

Bhatarsaigh
Aantal berichten: 253
warmer THAN the air ...

3 februari 2015 08:19

kafetzou
Aantal berichten: 7963
I'm sure I didn't write "warmer as" - Lilian, did you change what I wrote? If so, why?

CC: lilian canale

3 februari 2015 08:30

kafetzou
Aantal berichten: 7963
Pashikane's corrections are correct, except for "a wanting me" - that's not possible in English. Maybe "a wanting of me", but that's still very weird in English.

3 februari 2015 12:07

lilian canale
Aantal berichten: 14972
Hi Kafetzou,
I'm afraid you did. I didn't change what you wrote. The only thing I edited was the comma suggested by Merdogan to which you agreed.
I cancelled the poll so you'll be able to edit whatever you need, ok?

3 februari 2015 12:53

Minny
Aantal berichten: 271
Man könnte "ein mich Wollen" (wanting me)mit folgendes ersetzen, finde ich: "ein Begehren nach mir" (a desire for me) oder "Sehnsucht nach mir" (a longing for me).

3 februari 2015 17:14

kafetzou
Aantal berichten: 7963
Sorry, Lilian. I've made the changes Pashikane suggested, and added the change suggested by Minny. Even though it's a bit of a difference, since I assume Minny is the original author, I think that should be OK.

CC: lilian canale

7 februari 2015 19:29

Minny
Aantal berichten: 271
Thank you very much endeed, dear Katezou and Lilian for this beautiful translation! :-)
Minny

7 februari 2015 19:45

kafetzou
Aantal berichten: 7963
You're very welcome, Minny.