Vertimas - Bosnių-Anglų - Najvise mi se svidja dio...ko se ne salomi na...

Hello ANITAD

Sorry it has taken so long to start evaluating this translation

I don't understand everything in the English text; could you please explain the meaning to me? Maybe we can make the text sound more natural in English

-'cut on the blade of my tongue' -> do you mean 'cut my tongue'? What does 'blade' mean here?

- 'it won't turn right' -> do you mean something will go wrong? Maybe 'it will go wrong' could be used here. I know that is not the literal translation, but it may be the way this is expressed in English.

- 'Damascus' is written with a c, not a k, in English

Otherwise the text does not make much sense to me, but maybe it will mean something to the requester

(Just to let you know, the above points are not meant to criticise you or your translation, just to improve the English text. As an English 'assistant expert', my job here is to make sure the English texts are correct in terms of grammar etc., but I don't understand Bosnian so I'll need your help )

Hey,
you're right about the text not making much sense (it's the same in the source language). I guess it's some kind of a personal exchange. As for your points...
"cut on the blade of my tounge" - he/she is trying to make a point that he/she talks sharp, always speaks his/her mind and sometimes other people get hurt by it
"it won't turn right" I decided to use this to make it rhyme like it does in the source language. The whole text has a nostalgic, poetic, "stream of consciousness" feel to it in Bosnian so I tried to preserve it in the translation.
As for your last (quite endearing) remark, I am more than grateful for your comments and always happy to hear other opinions.

I see, that really helps

- How about 'he who does not get cut by my sharp tongue'? (If someone has a sharp tongue, he speaks in a sharp, bitter or critical way, usually without thinking about hurting other people's feelings.)

- to maintain the rhyme, how about 'it will not (or it won't) go right'? 'turn right' does not really have a meaning in this case.

Let me know what you think about these suggestions and we can edit; then I'll set a poll

OMG, the whole time I am trying to figure out why you have a problem with "turn out right" and now I see there's no "out", my bad! I like your suggestion on this one. About your suggestion for the first expression, it seems a little too literal and not quite capturing the intensity and drama of it (it seems to me that he/she admires people who don't break under his "verbal abuse". The literal "word for word" translation would actually be "he who does not break on the cliffs of my tounge" (cliffs being something sharp and dangerous) which makes even less sense in English, but it is a nice poetic image in Bosnian. So, go figure... it just goes to show how difficult it is to translate metaphors. Anyway, I am ok with everything you decide. Although I think that the general meaning of the message is conveyed at least for the two people who understand it

Of course! I've inserted 'out' in 'turn out'. Should have thought of that myself, really!

Let me know if you agree with my solution for the part about the sharp tongue. I like the cliffs expression so I have put your literal translation in the remarks.
I have set a poll, so you can't edit your text at the moment, but I'll be happy to do it if you want anything changed.
Thanks!

Hi Marija

From the little discussion we had above, I would think this text can be accepted but could you please have a look just to confirm, as I don't speak Bosnian and no votes are coming in

Thank you!

CC: maki_sindja

Hello dear Lein

Sorry to have kept you waiting...
I would change "Allahu Akbar" into "Allah is the greatest".
words are --> word is
The rest is OK.

Thank you!

You're welcome