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| 28 Avgust 2007 15:45 |
| Hi RainnSaw
Some little problems
The beginning is a little tortuous and there is repetition with since and after. I think it would be better to put "160 years after Talbot's discovery, which started...."
The prefix "photo" is superfluous in "digital photocameras".
I suggest a comma after "has come", I would put "comes" instead of "came" (since the beginning is in the present tense)
The past phrase needs rewriting as ther are one or two extra words that have slipped in
I would put "and all that is connected to it".
I don't speak Russian, so I will poll our russophones
Can you do the edits I've indicated in the meanwhile?
Bises
Tantine |
| 28 Avgust 2007 17:25 |
| Hi Tantine
Thank you for your remarks!
If my version of translation 'CпуÑÑ‚Ñ 160 лет поÑле Ð¾Ñ‚ÐºÑ€Ñ‹Ñ‚Ð¸Ñ Ð¢Ð°Ð»ÑŒÐ±Ð¾Ñ‚Ð°' - 'After 160 years since Talbot's discovery' is correct from grammatical point of view. I prefer to leave it. Yes, I must say that at first I wanted to translate '160 years after ...' but it seems to me that 'After 160 years since ...' is closer to the original text.
The prefix 'photo' is present in the original text, so I see no reason to remove it from the translation.
'цифровых (фото)камер' - 'digital (photo)cameras'
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| 28 Avgust 2007 18:43 |
| Tantine, according to your English native ears, would "after 160 years since discovery which started modern photo industry" be ever said by an English native speaker?
Mellisenta and ramarren, could you tell what you think, you Russian speakers?
Rainsaw, if Tantine says some edit is to be done in order to be translated into English, you should edit, because she's the one who will validate the translation. And she won't validate if she thinks an English native speaker wouldn't say or write it this way.
What makes all the quality of this translation site is based on translations done by native speakers. So that a native speaker rules in her/his own mother-tongue, especially when s/he is an expert here at cucumis. CC: Melissenta ramarren |
| 28 Avgust 2007 20:35 |
| Hi Francky, RainnSaw,
The first phrase would seem to me to be gramatically incorrect in the English version, so I prefer that the edit that I suggested be done. A native English speaker would not use such an overburdened phrase either in speech or in written English.
As to the prefix "photo", it is not used between "digital" and "camera" to designate this modern photographical apparatus in English.
I would add to Francky's pertinent remarks about translation on cucumis, that literal, word to word translations are to be avoided.
It is not always necessary to translate all the words in the source text, all the more so if it creates neologisms, confusion or ambiguity in the target language.
Bises
Tantine
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| 29 Avgust 2007 06:09 |
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| 29 Avgust 2007 06:10 |
| I agree with Tantine concerning "160 years after Talbot's discovery, which started....". It renders the Russian version - 'CпуÑÑ‚Ñ 160 лет поÑле Ð¾Ñ‚ÐºÑ€Ñ‹Ñ‚Ð¸Ñ Ð¢Ð°Ð»ÑŒÐ±Ð¾Ñ‚Ð°'.
Also I agree that "digital camera" is more suitable in this case. |
| 29 Avgust 2007 14:51 |
| "comes a new understanding of photography" supposed to be "... a new meaning of photography ..."
"... <all> that is conn..." -> "... <everything> ..." it seems me more natural for native speakers |
| 29 Avgust 2007 16:30 |
| Kedrov, Yes, first version was 'everything that is ...' but English expert Tantine suggested to change it for 'all that is ...'. And telling the truth both words are equally good. The same thing I can say about 'understanding' and 'meaning' both words match this sentence, and I used 'understanding'.
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| 29 Avgust 2007 20:57 |
| Hi All,
I have edited the text, taking into account your different suggestions. Thanks to everyone for their help.
RainnSaw, I love your avatar!! Hendrix Rules OK!
When I read a text, I never want to feel that I am reading a text that has been translated. I need to feel that that the text I'm reading was written directly in the printed language.
I'll probably nitpick because of this. No-one should take it personally, nor should they take it as a judgement of the precious work they have provided.
It just means that I'm a terrible perfectionnist, and I hope you will all treat my own translations with the same concern for accuracy and readability.
Bises
Tantine |
| 1 Septembar 2007 16:33 |
| Thanks to Tantine and everyone who helped to edit the translation. I want you to know that I never take constructive comments of my translations personally. Your suggestions is useful lessons and they help me to make my future work better.
All the best!
RainnSaw |
| 1 Septembar 2007 21:09 |
| Hehe
I'm glad I'm helpful then, its good learning new manguages, nava corrects everything I write in Italian for me. (I can read Italian really well, but I can't write it to save my life). Bit by bit my Italian rating will rise.
It is there as a challenge for me
Bises
Tantine |
| 2 Septembar 2007 19:38 |
| This is a beautiful text now, but what about the word "actually"? What is it supposed to mean? Did someone doubt that it would come? CC: RainnSaw |
| 2 Septembar 2007 20:04 |
| I think it should be "is currently upon us" is the meaning of "actually"
Bises
Tantine |
| 2 Septembar 2007 20:33 |
| I think we need a Russian speaker to answer this question. |
| 2 Septembar 2007 22:06 |
| Here it is -
'Ðра цифровых фотокамер (The age of digital cameras)
уже фактичеÑки (has actually[practically]) наÑтупила (come)'
The author realizes that in fact the age of digital cameras is here. But he(she) don't state it for sure 'Ñра цифровых фотокамер уже наÑпупила (the age of digital cameras had already come)' so the author puts the word 'фактичеÑки(actually)' to dilute the phrase.
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| 3 Septembar 2007 04:36 |
| I changed it to "has in fact arrived". I hope that's OK with everybody. |
| 3 Septembar 2007 07:10 |
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| 3 Septembar 2007 15:00 |
| Tantine, do you want to start the voting again, now that the text has gone through several edits, and then validate the translation?
I can't do that, because the score you give him should be based on how close the original translation was to native speaker English, and I can't judge that since I never saw the original translation.
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| 3 Septembar 2007 17:03 |
| Ok Kafetzou
I'll reset the vote and then validate.
Bises
Tantine |
| 4 Septembar 2007 07:06 |
| Is such word order possible in this sentence: ...with this age comes a new understanding...? The subjec goes after predicate in this sentence. I know about the inversion in some cases but is it appropriate here? |