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Oversettelse - Polsk-Fransk - DzieÅ„ siÄ™ narodziÅ‚...Nåværende status Oversettelse
Kategori Poesi - Kjærlighet / Vennskap | | | Kildespråk: Polsk
Dzień się narodził ponownie Słońce wstało do wędrówki Właśnie ukrywa się za konarami topoli Stocznia już daje znać że pracuje Ptaki jeszcze milczą Prom wpływa do portu Niebo błękitnieje Chmury w kratkę przeciął samolot
Dzień się narodził A ja żyję nocą A ja żyję Tobą | Anmerkninger gjeldende oversettelsen | |
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| Un jour nouveau se lève. | | Språket det skal oversettes til: Fransk
Un jour se lève à nouveau. Le soleil se prépare à un voyage Il se cache pour l'instant derrière les branches de peuplier Le chantier naval fait entendre sa bruyante activité Les oiseaux sont encore silencieux Un ferry entre dans le port Le ciel bleuit Un avion découpe des nuages dentelés
Un jour est né Mais je vis avec la nuit Je vis avec toi. |
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Senest vurdert og redigert av Francky5591 - 10 Oktober 2012 19:23
Siste Innlegg | | | | | 8 Oktober 2012 20:10 | | | Hi hanternoz,
Thanks for the translation.
@ Hi French experts, could you please read posts under Italian version before you evaluate the text. We've been discussing there an English translation of one line(Le chantier naval fait entendre sa bruyante activité?). Thanks!
CC: RedShadow Francky5591 gamine Bilge Ertan IanMegill2 | | | 8 Oktober 2012 22:45 | | | Hi Aneta! I think hanternoz translated this line very well. "bruyante" means one can hear the noise, and "activité" means people working there are very busy.
"already" like it stands in the Polish text (according to the translation into english you give yourself)hasn't been translated though, this would give : "Le chantier naval fait déjà entendre sa bruyante activité" (or, if ever you want to insist on "already" -meaning "it's very early but ...already one can hear the noise from the works in the shipyard"- , that would give "Déjà , le chantier naval fait entendre sa bruyante activité"
First one is lighter, but IMO it is better without "déjà " (translator into English also skipped "already", apparently".
You decide, it's up to you | | | 9 Oktober 2012 09:15 | | | Hi Francky,
I know you and the translator will do your best. I just wanted to let you know about the discussion which could be helpful.
| | | 9 Oktober 2012 09:45 | | | Thank you Franckie for your support. I don't know what the discussion is about. If it is about "sa bruyante activité" as an usual way of writing this line, I agree. In French we say "une activité bruyante", but I chose a poetic figure of speech, with inversion. I felt it more fitting with the mood of the text. | | | 9 Oktober 2012 09:51 | | | | | | 9 Oktober 2012 15:58 | | | Hello Aneta.
OK, I see! I read the posts. But I am very very limited in Italian, unfortunately I can't help. But I am interested in knowing the final result. | | | 9 Oktober 2012 22:08 | | | But the crucial thing was discussed in English, not in Italian, hanternoz.
The essential post was:
"...litteral, because a true literal translation of Polish: "Stocznia już daje znać że pracuje"
would be:
"The shipyard already lets us know that it has started working".
English translation "The shipyard utters out its busy sounds" is also just metaphorical.
I never use a word "sounds" or "busy sounds" in my poem. It was the translator's into English (Aleksander's) idea. Yet I accepted this as long as the adjective "busy" referred somehow to "work", "working" etc.
Anyway I wouldn't like the first 8 lines were poetic or metaphorical. They are just to be prosaic and to contrast the final three poetic lines". |
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