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Përkthime - Frengjisht-Anglisht - J'ACCUSE 60 Millions de consommateurs

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Ky tekst është në dispozicion në këto gjuhë: FrengjishtAnglisht

Kategori Fjalim - Shëndet / Mjekësi

Titull
J'ACCUSE 60 Millions de consommateurs
Tekst
Prezantuar nga Francky5591
gjuha e tekstit origjinal: Frengjisht

Nos élites, enfin ceux que l'on nomme sous ce vocable valorisant, nous ont par le passé habitué à faire peu de cas de l'intelligence individuelle et collective des Français ...

La grande mascarade à laquelle nous venons d'assister, orchestrée par la revue « 60 Millions de Consommateurs », publication de L'institut National de la Consommation, lui même bras armé du Ministère chargé de la consommation, (*) n'en est qu'une illustration de plus !
(*) Et oui … il y a des associations de consommateurs indépendantes et d’autres gouvernementales … Ca change tout … Là nous sommes bien en face d’une communication gouvernementale !



S’il est un dossier sur lequel nos élites ont montré leur incapacité chronique à prévoir … et donc gérer, c’est bien celui de la cigarette électronique …

Un gouvernement et des lobbys dans l'impasse ...

Le gouvernement est contraint de constater que la situation est désormais tout sauf maîtrisée :

- Des fumeurs qui passent en nombre à la vapote chaque jour,
- La multiplication des ouvertures de boutiques ne faisant que coller à ce marché,
- Des recettes fiscales liées au tabac qui s’évaporent à vitesse grand V,
- Un rapport Dautzenberg décrédibilisé dans ses conclusions,
- Des professionnels de santé de plus en plus nombreux à défendre la cigarette électronique,
- Un argumentaire ministériel sur une prétendue incitation de la gestuelle vapote à passer au tabac qui peine à convaincre (c’est un euphémisme)
- Des retours de vapoteurs sur les forums, enthousiastes et bluffés d’avoir enfin stoppé le tabac, sans effort ni manque,
- Des buralistes qui revendiquent un improbable monopole,
- Une cacophonie européenne dont on se demande quel gloubiboulga va en sortir

Au final, en dépit des gesticulations ministérielles, une image de la cigarette électronique devenant progressivement plus positive :

- Ce n’est pas toxique ou si peu,
- Cela ne dérange pas le voisinage,
- Cela ne coûte pas cher (sauf à Bercy)
- Et, ce n’est pas la moindre des choses, cela permet de stopper le tabac, mortel dans un cas sur deux !
Vërejtje rreth përkthimit
US English required

Note : 60Millions de consommateurs is a French magazine and online magazine

Titull
I BLAME 60 Millions de consommateurs
Përkthime
Anglisht

Perkthyer nga RedShadow
Përkthe në: Anglisht

Our elites, or rather those who are called that way to sound better, got the French people used to never being taken seriously. They always disregarded our individual and collective intelligence…

This is quite a farce we just stumble upon, set up by the review “60 Millions de consommateurs”, published by L’Institut National de la Consommation, which is itself the armed wing of the Minister chargé de la consommation, (*) which is just one more example.
(*) That’s right… there are independent consumer associations as well as government ones… This changes everything… Here we are clearly facing government propaganda.

If there is an issue on which our elites have shown their chronic inability to predict… and hence to manage, it is the one related to the electronic cigarette…

The government and the lobbyists find themselves in a dead end…

The government is now forced to face the fact that the situation is anything but under control:
- A large amount of smokers are moving to vaping everyday
- Shops are opening, following the market needs
- Taxes related to tobacco vanish in the blink of an eye
- The conclusions of the Dautzenberg report have been discredited
- More and more health professionals are defending the electronic cigarette
- A ministerial argumentation about a so called incitation to switch to real cigarettes because of the similar way they are handled, which fail to convince (and that’s a euphemism)
- Many vapers are leaving feedback on their forums, enthusiastic and impressed to have quit smoking with so little effort and without feeling any lack of it
- Tobacco businesses that claim an unlikely monopoly
- The European Union is in so much disarray that we are wondering what kind of messy jumble they are going to give us

In the end, despite the ministerial hustle and bustle, the electronic cigarette are gaining in popularity:
- It is not toxic, or hardly so
- It doesn’t bother other people
- It doesn’t cost much (except for Bercy)
- And, if that’s not enough, this makes people stop smoking which is deadly half of the time!
Vërejtje rreth përkthimit
Notes:
- "60 Millions de consommateurs" is a French magazine and online magazine that is supposed to be very neutral and independent.
- "L’Institut National de la Consommation" is a bit like the US FDA.
- "Minister chargé de la consommation" is the finance minister, similar to the Treasury Department.
- (except for "Bercy") --> Bercy houses the French Minister of Finance. It's job is similar to the IRS.

U vleresua ose u publikua se fundi nga Lein - 8 Nëntor 2013 18:05





Mesazhi i fundit

Autori
Mesazh

22 Shtator 2013 05:34

Kai Tachikawa1
Numri i postimeve: 11
I don't have time to proofread thoroughly, but there are some errors, and I need more space here to correct them.

22 Shtator 2013 09:43

RedShadow
Numri i postimeve: 143
Please do, and if you can, please also tell me what was wrong.

Oh BTW I don't know what you mean by "you need more space".
I'm guessing: you can copy/paste this to a word processor then work on it, and then copy/paste it back here.


2 Tetor 2013 14:37

Lein
Numri i postimeve: 3389
got ... used to never be considered seriously -> got the French people used to never being taken seriously ('used to' needs to be followed by a gerund; 'to take someone seriously' is, I think, the idiom you intended here.)

stumble on -> stumble upon

“60 Millions de consommateurs” review -> sounds more natural when reversed: review (by the name of) “60 Millions de consommateurs”

being itself -> which is itself (more common way to phrase this, less pompous)

one more evidence -> one more example (or 'piece of evidence' if you must, as 'evidence' in itself is not countable; 'one (more) evidence' is grammatically incorrect)

there are independent ... from the government -> some consumer associations are independent, others are from the government; or: there are independent consumer associations as well as (or: and) government ones

a governmental communication -> 'a communication' is grammatically incorrect and sounds very stilted. How about 'a piece of government communication' or 'an example of something the government is telling us' or something similar?

If there is an issue (...), it is the one related to the electronic cigarette…

A government and lobbies in a dead end… -> it looks like 'lobbies' is the verb in this sentence. Suggestion: The government and lobbying organizations find themselves in a dead end street.

The government is now forced to face the fact that...

discredited in its conclusions -> sounds a bit stilted; why not 'the conclusions of the D report have been discredited

... health professionals are defending the electronic cigarette

gestural -> gesture? I don't think 'gestural' (relating to, or consisting of gestures) fits here

an euphemism -> a euphemism (because when pronounced, 'euphemism' starts with a consonant sound; compare 'a European constitution'.

- Many vapers are leaving feedback on their forums, enthusiastic and impressed to have quit smoking with so little effort ('effort' in this case cannot be counted, so 'few' cannot be used)

and no lack of it -> without missing it / feeling any lack of it

monopole -> monopoly

- The European Union is in so much disarray that we are wondering what kind of messy jumble they are going to give us

the electronic cigarette gradually becomes well-established -> is gradually becoming well-established (or, more common although your translation is not wrong, 'electronic cigarettes are gradually becoming well-established')
A more literal translation, closer to the source text, would be something like 'a more positive image of the electronic cigarette becomes ever more widespread / ever clearer.

- It’s not that toxic, or so little -> It is not toxic, or hardly

- It doesn’t bother people around -> this needs a specification: around what? around where? Better: It doesn't bother other people

2 Tetor 2013 14:38

Lein
Numri i postimeve: 3389
Mainly looking at the English text and trying to make it sound more natural - meaning seems fine overall
Sorry for the rather long post

2 Tetor 2013 16:58

RedShadow
Numri i postimeve: 143
No problem, I appreciate your feedback a lot. I'll correct all of that as soon as I have more time.


7 Tetor 2013 17:08

RedShadow
Numri i postimeve: 143
Actually I can't edit the translation myself since it's being evaluated.

7 Tetor 2013 17:09

Lein
Numri i postimeve: 3389
Just let Lilian know which of the edits you agree with, or which you don't agree with, and she can edit (provided she agrees )

25 Tetor 2013 18:22

RedShadow
Numri i postimeve: 143
Sorry for the delay.
I agree with most of the edits you are pointing out:

"got the French people used to never be considered seriously" --> "got the French people used to never being taken seriously"

"This is quite a farce we just stumble upon set up by the review “60 Millions de consommateurs”, published by L’Institut National de la Consommation, being itself the armed wing of the Minister chargé de la consommation, (*) which is just one more evidence." --> "This is quite a farce we just stumble upon, set up by the review “60 Millions de consommateurs”, published by L’Institut National de la Consommation, which is itself the armed wing of the Minister chargé de la consommation, (*) which is just one more example."

"That’s right… there are independent consumer associations and some others that are from the government… This changes everything… Here we are clearly facing a governmental communication." --> "That’s right… there are independent consumer associations as well as government ones."

"have shown their chronic inability to predict… and hence to manage, is the one related to" --> "have shown their chronic inability to predict… and hence to manage, it is the one related to"

"is now forced to face that the situation is all but under control" --> "is now forced to face the fact that the situation is all"

"- The Dautzenberg report discredited in its conclusions" --> "- The conclusions of the Dautzenberg report have been discredited"

"- More and more health professionals defend the electronic cigarette" --> "- More and more health professionals are defending the electronic cigarette"

"to switch to real cigarettes because of the vaping gestural, which fail to convince (and that’s an euphemism)" --> "to switch to real cigarettes because of their emulation through vaping,which fail to convince (and that’s a euphemism)"

"- Many vapers feedbacks from their forums, enthusiastic and impressed to have quit smoking with so few effort and no lack of it" --> "- Many vapers are leaving feedbacks on their forums, enthusiastic and impressed to have quit smoking with so few effort and without feeling any lack of it"

"- Tobacco businesses that claim an unlikely monopole" --> "- Tobacco businesses that claim an unlikely monopoly"

"- The European Union in so much disarray" --> "- The European Union is in so much disarray"

"- It’s not that toxic, or so little -> "- It is not toxic, or hardly"

"- It doesn’t bother people around" --> "- It doesn't bother other people"

25 Tetor 2013 19:54

RedShadow
Numri i postimeve: 143
And here is what I would propose:

"This changes everything… Here we are clearly facing a governmental communication." --> "This changes everything… Here we are clearly in face of a government propaganda."

"hustle and bustle, the electronic cigarette gradually becomes well-established " --> "hustle and bustle, electronic cigarettes are gaining in popularity."

"A government and lobbies in a dead end… " --> "The government and the lobbies are in a dead end…"

What do you guys think about all of that?
I'd rather know before I notify Lilian

25 Tetor 2013 19:27

lilian canale
Numri i postimeve: 14972
Hi Lein,
I've cancelled the poll so that you can make the edit you suggested. Go ahead and evaluate this translation, OK?

1 Nëntor 2013 18:15

Lein
Numri i postimeve: 3389
Hi RedShadow, I have put through the edits you accepted and the ones you suggested, with minor changes:
lobbies -> lobbyists
'a propaganda'-> like 'communication', propaganda can't be counted, so I have left out the article ('a').

I am still not convinced by this 'emulation' thing - it sounds very official for the intended audience (this is not an official report, judging by the contents, but something for 'everyone'. Still, grammatically it seems OK so I will leave it in
If you are happy with this, I will accept it in a few days

7 Nëntor 2013 19:43

RedShadow
Numri i postimeve: 143
Hey Lein

Yes the "emulation" is a bit too formal...
So no, I am not happy with this!

Lets try something else (again)

"- A ministerial argumentation about a so called incitation to switch to real cigarettes because of their emulation through vaping, which fail to convince (and that’s a euphemism)" -->
"- A ministerial argumentation about a so called electronic cigarette 'gateway' to the real thing because of their similar handling, which fail to convince (and that’s a euphemism)"

7 Nëntor 2013 16:03

Lein
Numri i postimeve: 3389
Sorry - been busy offline (and online, with work-related stuff )

Do we need 'handling'?
What about this?

argumentation that electronic cigarettes (may) lead to the real thing because of their similarity (or maybe the similar feeling)

or this?

argumentation that electronic cigarettes (may) lead to the (real) cigarettes which they resemble

There are a lot of positive votes, so I am happy to accept as soon as we have a text that you are happy with (this one or an improved version)

8 Nëntor 2013 18:42

RedShadow
Numri i postimeve: 143
After debating a little bit with Lein, we decided that...

"- A ministerial argumentation about a so called incitation to switch to real cigarettes because of the similar way they are handled, which fail to convince (and that’s a euphemism)"

...was pretty good

So here it is. The last correction ending this long thread