翻訳 - フランス語-英語 - J'ACCUSE 60 Millions de consommateurs

I don't have time to proofread thoroughly, but there are some errors, and I need more space here to correct them.

Please do, and if you can, please also tell me what was wrong.

Oh BTW I don't know what you mean by "you need more space".
I'm guessing: you can copy/paste this to a word processor then work on it, and then copy/paste it back here.

got ... used to never be considered seriously -> got the French people used to never being taken seriously ('used to' needs to be followed by a gerund; 'to take someone seriously' is, I think, the idiom you intended here.)

stumble on -> stumble upon

“60 Millions de consommateurs” review -> sounds more natural when reversed: review (by the name of) “60 Millions de consommateurs”

being itself -> which is itself (more common way to phrase this, less pompous)

one more evidence -> one more example (or 'piece of evidence' if you must, as 'evidence' in itself is not countable; 'one (more) evidence' is grammatically incorrect)

there are independent ... from the government -> some consumer associations are independent, others are from the government; or: there are independent consumer associations as well as (or: and) government ones

a governmental communication -> 'a communication' is grammatically incorrect and sounds very stilted. How about 'a piece of government communication' or 'an example of something the government is telling us' or something similar?

If there is an issue (...), it is the one related to the electronic cigarette…

A government and lobbies in a dead end… -> it looks like 'lobbies' is the verb in this sentence. Suggestion: The government and lobbying organizations find themselves in a dead end street.

The government is now forced to face the fact that...

discredited in its conclusions -> sounds a bit stilted; why not 'the conclusions of the D report have been discredited

... health professionals are defending the electronic cigarette

gestural -> gesture? I don't think 'gestural' (relating to, or consisting of gestures) fits here

an euphemism -> a euphemism (because when pronounced, 'euphemism' starts with a consonant sound; compare 'a European constitution'.

- Many vapers are leaving feedback on their forums, enthusiastic and impressed to have quit smoking with so little effort ('effort' in this case cannot be counted, so 'few' cannot be used)

and no lack of it -> without missing it / feeling any lack of it

monopole -> monopoly

- The European Union is in so much disarray that we are wondering what kind of messy jumble they are going to give us

the electronic cigarette gradually becomes well-established -> is gradually becoming well-established (or, more common although your translation is not wrong, 'electronic cigarettes are gradually becoming well-established')
A more literal translation, closer to the source text, would be something like 'a more positive image of the electronic cigarette becomes ever more widespread / ever clearer.

- It’s not that toxic, or so little -> It is not toxic, or hardly

- It doesn’t bother people around -> this needs a specification: around what? around where? Better: It doesn't bother other people

Mainly looking at the English text and trying to make it sound more natural - meaning seems fine overall
Sorry for the rather long post

No problem, I appreciate your feedback a lot. I'll correct all of that as soon as I have more time.

Actually I can't edit the translation myself since it's being evaluated.

Just let Lilian know which of the edits you agree with, or which you don't agree with, and she can edit (provided she agrees )

Sorry for the delay.
I agree with most of the edits you are pointing out:

"got the French people used to never be considered seriously" --> "got the French people used to never being taken seriously"

"This is quite a farce we just stumble upon set up by the review “60 Millions de consommateurs”, published by L’Institut National de la Consommation, being itself the armed wing of the Minister chargé de la consommation, (*) which is just one more evidence." --> "This is quite a farce we just stumble upon, set up by the review “60 Millions de consommateurs”, published by L’Institut National de la Consommation, which is itself the armed wing of the Minister chargé de la consommation, (*) which is just one more example."

"That’s right… there are independent consumer associations and some others that are from the government… This changes everything… Here we are clearly facing a governmental communication." --> "That’s right… there are independent consumer associations as well as government ones."

"have shown their chronic inability to predict… and hence to manage, is the one related to" --> "have shown their chronic inability to predict… and hence to manage, it is the one related to"

"is now forced to face that the situation is all but under control" --> "is now forced to face the fact that the situation is all"

"- The Dautzenberg report discredited in its conclusions" --> "- The conclusions of the Dautzenberg report have been discredited"

"- More and more health professionals defend the electronic cigarette" --> "- More and more health professionals are defending the electronic cigarette"

"to switch to real cigarettes because of the vaping gestural, which fail to convince (and that’s an euphemism)" --> "to switch to real cigarettes because of their emulation through vaping,which fail to convince (and that’s a euphemism)"

"- Many vapers feedbacks from their forums, enthusiastic and impressed to have quit smoking with so few effort and no lack of it" --> "- Many vapers are leaving feedbacks on their forums, enthusiastic and impressed to have quit smoking with so few effort and without feeling any lack of it"

"- Tobacco businesses that claim an unlikely monopole" --> "- Tobacco businesses that claim an unlikely monopoly"

"- The European Union in so much disarray" --> "- The European Union is in so much disarray"

"- It’s not that toxic, or so little -> "- It is not toxic, or hardly"

"- It doesn’t bother people around" --> "- It doesn't bother other people"

And here is what I would propose:

"This changes everything… Here we are clearly facing a governmental communication." --> "This changes everything… Here we are clearly in face of a government propaganda."

"hustle and bustle, the electronic cigarette gradually becomes well-established " --> "hustle and bustle, electronic cigarettes are gaining in popularity."

"A government and lobbies in a dead end… " --> "The government and the lobbies are in a dead end…"

What do you guys think about all of that?
I'd rather know before I notify Lilian

Hi Lein,
I've cancelled the poll so that you can make the edit you suggested. Go ahead and evaluate this translation, OK?

Hi RedShadow, I have put through the edits you accepted and the ones you suggested, with minor changes:
lobbies -> lobbyists
'a propaganda'-> like 'communication', propaganda can't be counted, so I have left out the article ('a').

I am still not convinced by this 'emulation' thing - it sounds very official for the intended audience (this is not an official report, judging by the contents, but something for 'everyone'. Still, grammatically it seems OK so I will leave it in
If you are happy with this, I will accept it in a few days

Hey Lein

Yes the "emulation" is a bit too formal...
So no, I am not happy with this!

Lets try something else (again)

"- A ministerial argumentation about a so called incitation to switch to real cigarettes because of their emulation through vaping, which fail to convince (and that’s a euphemism)" -->
"- A ministerial argumentation about a so called electronic cigarette 'gateway' to the real thing because of their similar handling, which fail to convince (and that’s a euphemism)"

Sorry - been busy offline (and online, with work-related stuff )

Do we need 'handling'?
What about this?

argumentation that electronic cigarettes (may) lead to the real thing because of their similarity (or maybe the similar feeling)

or this?

argumentation that electronic cigarettes (may) lead to the (real) cigarettes which they resemble

There are a lot of positive votes, so I am happy to accept as soon as we have a text that you are happy with (this one or an improved version)

After debating a little bit with Lein, we decided that...

"- A ministerial argumentation about a so called incitation to switch to real cigarettes because of the similar way they are handled, which fail to convince (and that’s a euphemism)"

...was pretty good

So here it is. The last correction ending this long thread