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Traduction - Ukrainien-Anglais - ÐеÑе Ð“Ð°Ð»Ñ Ð²Ð¾Ð´ÑƒEtat courant Traduction
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Proposé par  Xini | Langue de départ: Ukrainien
ÐеÑе Ð“Ð°Ð»Ñ Ð²Ð¾Ð´Ñƒ,
коромиÑло гнетьÑÑ,
Рза ней Іванко,
Як барвінок в’єтьÑÑ.
Галю ж моÑ, Галю,
Дай води напитьÑÑ,
Ти така хороша,
Дай хоч подивитьÑÑ.
Вода у Ñадочку,
Прийди Ñ– напийÑÑ,
Я буду в Ñадочку,
Прийли подивиÑÑ.
Прийшов у Ñадочок,
Ð—Ð¾Ð·ÑƒÐ»Ñ ÐºÑƒÐ²Ð°Ð»Ð°,
Рти ж мене Галю
Та й не шанувала.
СтелиÑÑ, барвінку,
Буду поливати,
ВерниÑÑ, Іванко,
Буду шанувати.
Скільки не ÑтеливÑÑ,
Ти не поливала,
Скільки не вертавÑÑ,
Ти не шанувала.
ПроÑив, проÑив відеречко,
Вона йому не дала,
Дарив, дарив з рук колечко,
Вона його не взÑла.
Знаю, знаю, дівчинонько,
Чим Ñ Ñ‚ÐµÐ±Ðµ огорчив,
Що Ñ Ð²Ñ‡Ð¾Ñ€Ð° із вечора
Кращу тебе полюбив. | Commentaires pour la traduction | |
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| | | Langue d'arrivée: Anglais
Galyia is carrying water
So that shoulder-yoke is being curved,
And Ivanko is following her,
Creeping like an ivy.
"Oh, my honey Galya,
Let me slake my thirst!
You so beautiful,
Let me look at you for once!"
"The water is in the garden,
Go there and slake your thirst!
I will also be there,
Come and look at me!"
"I was in the garden,
When the cuckoo was crying cuckoo,
But you, dear Galya,
Were not glad to see me!"
"Creep, the ivy, creep!
And I shall water you!
Come back, Ivanko,
And I shall be glad to see you!"
"I was creeping too long,
But you did not water me,
I used to come back for so many times,
But you were not glad to see me!"
He asked to take her pailful of water -
She did not give it to him,
He tried to give her a ring -
She refused to take it...
Oh, I know, the girl,
How I did hurt you:
Last night I fell in love
With another... | Commentaires pour la traduction | Well, the sense of the song is something like that :) English experts should check the translation for possible mistakes, or may be they'll find some strange metaphors or something - I shall try to explain :) |
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Dernière édition ou validation par lilian canale - 6 Avril 2008 23:36
Derniers messages | | | | |
1 Avril 2008 21:02 | | |  Hi ramarren.
It looks fine to me, just a few corrections.
Does the first verse mean that the water she was carrying was so heavy that made the yoker to bend?
also
"But you, dear Galya,
Were not glad to see me!"
"I used to come back for numerous times,
But you were not glad to see me!"
What do you think?
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2 Avril 2008 08:19 | | | The answer on the first question - yes. But it is rather a metaphor than an accent that it was too hard to carry the water. May be, a yoker is not very strong We must remember that it is the falk song, so we must not look at all the words very strictly.
The second is my fault. Of course, "were" | | |
3 Avril 2008 17:49 | | | OK, so I'll just edit those few corrections and we set a poll.
Fine work! | | |
4 Avril 2008 08:05 | | | lilian canale
Thanks!  | | |
5 Avril 2008 16:51 | | | Hi ramarren, Hi Lilly
I don't have the slightest notion about Serbian, as you both know
But I've had a try at polishing ramarren's translation, which is very vivid, so it was good fun.
Here's my suggestion (but which lacks the last four lines as I'm not exactly sure how to "attack" this part;
Galya is carrying water
So the yoke doth her shoulders grind
And Ivanko who is stealthy,
Like the ivy, creeps behind.
O my Honey, Galya
Let me slake my thirst,
Let me drink in all thy beauty,
Let this time be the first.
The water is in the garden,
Let there your thirst be satisfied
I will be there, also
For the pleasure of your eyes
I was in the garden
When the cuckoo’s voice rang clear
But you, my dear Galya
Seemed displeased to see me here
Creep, creeping ivy
And I shall water thee
Come again Ivanko
And happy then I’ll be
I crept for an eternity
And ne’er a drop received
I’ve come back so many times
And e’er to be deceived.
He asked to take her pail of water
But the burden was her own
He offered her a ring of gold
That in his face was thrown.
What do you think?
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5 Avril 2008 18:49 | | |  Tantine, your soul breathes poetry!
I wish I were able to find the rhyme so easily!
Ramarren, feel free to use some of her ideas if you wish, as long as the original sense in Ukrainian doesn't change, OK? | | |
7 Avril 2008 10:05 | | 
XiniNombre de messages: 1655 | | | |
7 Avril 2008 11:39 | | | Indeed, it's a good example of literary translation. The only thing I do not understand what is "ne’er" and "e’er", so those words must be rewritten. | | |
7 Avril 2008 11:50 | |
XiniNombre de messages: 1655 | contracted form of never, ever
to make the lines more fluent, I suppose | | |
7 Avril 2008 11:54 | | | I think such shortening does not cost a penny - anyway we obtain the same number of symbols o_O But the sense becomes foggy... I object these "words". | | |
7 Avril 2008 12:37 | |
XiniNombre de messages: 1655 | I mean, that's for keeping a -`-`-`- accent pattern
otherwise you have groups of `` thet breaks the "music"
beacuse you say "neer" instead of "ne-ver" | | |
8 Avril 2008 15:42 | | | Hi ramarren
"ne'er" and "e'er" are, as Lilly says, contractions of the words "never" and "ever". They are often written with the ellision of the central "v" in English poetry, but are also used in certain locutions "a ne'er do well" for instance.
They help with the musicality of the poem, keeping the metric of the lines in rhythm.
They confer an "old fashioned" feeling to the poem which seems to fit with the yoke, the pail...
Obviously if they make you feel uncomfortable, you can put the "v" back in them 
Bises
Tantine | | |
9 Avril 2008 12:37 | | | Weel, if translation is for literary people, then I think everythings will be OK |
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