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Translation - Polish-English - Drzewko szczęścia

Current statusTranslation
This text is available in the following languages: PolishEnglish

Category Poetry - Daily life

Title
Drzewko szczęścia
Text
Submitted by Aneta B.
Source language: Polish

Ukochane
Drzewko szczęścia
Zaskakujesz mnie z nadejściem lata
Bujnym owocem…

Czym jesteÅ›, o drzewko
ZimÄ…
Czy tylko nieczułym drewnem
Pod ciężkim zimnym śniegiem?
Gdzie skrywasz zalążki
Dobroczynnej obfitości?
Gdzie źródło mych wiosennych marzeń?
Nic ich nie zapowiada
A jednak…
Remarks about the translation
To jest mój własny wiersz. Proszę o ładny przekład na British English.

Title
Lucky plant
Translation
English

Translated by iluvmilka
Target language: English

Beloved
Tree of happiness
You surprise me in summertime
With lush fruits ...

What are you, oh tree?
In winter
Just insensitive timber
Under heavy cold snow?
Where do you hide the seeds of
Abundant charity?
Where is the source of the spring of my dreams?
Nothing heralds them
And yet …
Remarks about the translation
* - the spring użyte w znaczeniu słowa "źródło". Może zostać zastąpione słówkiem "source" jednak sadzę, że ta zbieżność dwóch "spring" tutaj pasuje
Last validated or edited by lilian canale - 8 September 2009 01:05





Latest messages

Author
Message

6 September 2009 17:40

Aneta B.
Number of messages: 4487
I ask Lilian Canale to take care of the evaluation.

CC: lilian canale

6 September 2009 18:30

Aneta B.
Number of messages: 4487
'Where do you hide the seeds
Of philanthropic love?'

Ania, it isn't exactly what I wanted to say in this place.

where do you hide germs/seeds
of beneficial abundance?

I meant here about lots of gifts (from God) I receive all the time in a summer time...

But in this place, your version I like more:
Where is the spring of my spring dreams?
Super!!!
Spring as a source! And the word game!
Thank you!

6 September 2009 20:38

iluvmilka
Number of messages: 77
Im sorry, i have to write this message in polish so you'll understand it better.

Mogę sie mylić, ale słowo "germ" jest często używane w znaczeniu zarazek,wirus albo bakteria. W każdym razie, to słowo kojarzone jest raczej z czyms negatywnym a nie 'zalązkiem' czegos dobrego.
A 'seeds' użyłabym chocby z tego wzgledu, ze isnieje pewna przypowiesc w Biblii odnosnie ziaren rozrzucanych na płodna ziemie i na skały, takze jesli chcesz odnieść się do darów od Boga, to mysle ze 'seeds' bedzie najlepszym okresleniem.

A co do beneficial abundance to oczyiwsice tez brzmi poprawnie, ale troche skomplikowanie. Ale oczywiscie to jest poezja i nie może byc zbyt przystepna

Pozdrawiam
xx

6 September 2009 20:53

Aneta B.
Number of messages: 4487
i znowu piszesz po polsku, Aniu... Dla angielskiego eksperta Twoje komentarze w języku polskim są nieużyteczne. Lilly powiedziała mi, że polski jest dla niej tajemnicą" hehe... więc proszę Cię jeszcze raz o angielskie komentarze pod tłumaczeniami. Wiadomości prywatne do mnie możesz pisać po polsku oczywiście...

Ale zgadzam się z Tobą co do tych "seeds"... Masz tę wrażliwość językową i poetycką, na której mi zależy. Tak się cieszę, że zaczęłaś tłumaczyć moje wiersze...

-----------

Lilly, "seeds" are much more better here than "germs"...

6 September 2009 21:43

iluvmilka
Number of messages: 77
Right, its no problem at all. I just wanted you to understand the difference between the seeds and germs and it was easier to explain it in polish.I know you would understand it anyway

7 September 2009 23:27

lilian canale
Number of messages: 14972
I don't know Polish at all, so my suggestions will be just guesses about how it would sound more poetic in English, OK?

Beloved
Tree of happiness
You surprise me in summertime
Lush fruit(s) ...

What are you, oh tree?
In winter
Just insensitive timber
Under heavy cold snow
Where do you hide the seeds of
Abundant charity?
Where is the source of the spring of my dreams?
Nothing heralds them
And yet …


It's up to you, Aneta

8 September 2009 00:42

Aneta B.
Number of messages: 4487
It is beautiful, Lilly!

Lush fruit(s) ...
Maybe "with lush fruit"
because the tree suprises me just with it...

What do you think, dear?

8 September 2009 00:13

Aneta B.
Number of messages: 4487
Just insensitive timber
Under heavy cold snow ?

and I am not sure about the end.
What do exactly mean the words "And yet"?
I translated it myself "A jednak" --> "However", because I meant that I know the tree will have fruit once again when winter is over, so, although(however) it is "just insensitive timber" in winter, I will have a hope that it changes after the spring...

Well, it is a quite new poem of mine. From the previous week... So I'm probably very sensitive about it... It's just a poem but expresses my feelings strongly... This is my fear about coming winter... I'm not so enthusiastic person in wintertime as I am now...

8 September 2009 00:20

lilian canale
Number of messages: 14972
And yet... gives that meaning of even though, although, however...
I think it's fine, but YOU are the poet

I'll edit that "with" and the question mark.

8 September 2009 00:24

Aneta B.
Number of messages: 4487
If you say it is the same: "And yet" and "However", I agree.. Let leave us your version...

Thank you, my dear Ania and Lilly!!! You started sth very important for me. I'm so grateful...

I really need the translations... (I will tell you why one day)