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| | 17 Σεπτέμβριος 2007 10:45 |
| XiniΑριθμός μηνυμάτων: 1655 | Very well done!
The translation is simply perfect.
Just 2 remarks:
1) Immense: is it really immense? I don't know if it's the same with the italian "immenso", but it seems too much for it. Couldn't it be just "big"?
2) Through a random filter. I think it's too concrete (filter is a technical word in electronic music, so it can be misinterpreted). Can it be made more "conceptual"? E.g. in any case filtered through chance/filtered through the concept of chance ... just trying.
Thank you so much!
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| | 17 Σεπτέμβριος 2007 14:26 |
| | Hi Xini
"big" would be fine, I wasn't sure what size the box was, so I put "immense" just in case it was a very big one!! I'll edit that.
For point 2 what about:
"the user participates in the definition of the form itself in a more or less conscious and, in any case hazardous manner"
Bises
Tantine
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| | 17 Σεπτέμβριος 2007 17:19 |
| XiniΑριθμός μηνυμάτων: 1655 | ok for big.
for the last sentence:
the user don't has a hazardous manner of interacting. He interacts, knowing what will be the result, but it happens that what he does is filtered by randomness (the user makes the sheet fall but he doesn't know where it will fall).
I will keep the "filtered by" or "filtered through", if possible, and then the concept of randomness, chance, "aleatoriness". What do you think? |
| | 17 Σεπτέμβριος 2007 19:25 |
| | Hi,
Unfortunately for us the word "aleatoriness" doesn't exist in English.
"Chance" may be out best bet here, though we could try and create an artistic neologism with "aleatoriness" (in hoping we can sneak the word in without Kafetzou noticing!!)
Another possibility would be to change the word "and" for "but". This would give:
"in a more or less conscious manner but, in any case filtered by randomness."
What do you think?
Bises
Tantine
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| | 17 Σεπτέμβριος 2007 19:41 |
| XiniΑριθμός μηνυμάτων: 1655 | Ok for the last one!
with 2 commas
"in a more or less conscious manner but, in any case, filtered by randomness."
(or chance). (I prefer chance). The two words "cage" and "chance" are 10 times mmore present than "cage" and "randomness" on google's search.
yes I know that aleatoriness doesn't exist, that's why it was the only one within quotes
I think we stop here.
Maybe kafetzou wants to see this or do you use to evaluate yourself?
I think she can give you a 10. |
| | 17 Σεπτέμβριος 2007 20:03 |
| | I put you "chance" since you (and apparently cage) prefer chance than randomness.
Bises
Tantine |
| | 17 Σεπτέμβριος 2007 20:15 |
| XiniΑριθμός μηνυμάτων: 1655 | Ok. I think we can close this translations.
Thank you so much again! CC: kafetzou |
| | 18 Σεπτέμβριος 2007 01:04 |
| | I changed "determinates" to "determines" and I will validate the translation, although I think that "a paper heap" is a bit awkward - could it be "a pile of paper"? CC: Xini Tantine |
| | 18 Σεπτέμβριος 2007 07:35 |
| XiniΑριθμός μηνυμάτων: 1655 | A pile of paper gives me the idea the it is ordered, while heap that it's random. But if it is awkward, let's choose Pile, like gigi1 said.
It's up to you experts. |
| | 18 Σεπτέμβριος 2007 08:56 |
| | Hi Kafetzou
I agree with Xini here that "pile" is much too organised, given the theme of the text. "Heap" seems much more hazardous and random.
Maybe if we put "heap of paper" rather than "paper heap" it would be less awkward? |
| | 18 Σεπτέμβριος 2007 13:21 |
| | I don't think of "pile" as organized, and the reason it seems awkward to me is that "heap" is not used with "paper". I think that "a pile of paper" sounds much less organized than "a pile of paper s", although that doesn't really sound organized to me either - a "stack of papers" sounds organized.
Where did gigi1 express her opinion? I missed that somehow. CC: Xini Tantine |
| | 18 Σεπτέμβριος 2007 13:30 |
| XiniΑριθμός μηνυμάτων: 1655 | Ok, so let's go for pile.
Gigi1 said that in the discussion about her rejected translation of this text.
Danke Kafetzou. |
| | 18 Σεπτέμβριος 2007 13:33 |
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| | 18 Σεπτέμβριος 2007 16:25 |
| | Hiya,
In this case, if Xini is Ok lets put "pile".
You missed Gigi's intervention because it was in the discussions under a rejected translation. In her translation she had used the word "pile" I believe.
Bises both of you
Tantine |