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Translation - Turkish-English - Hiç imkanım yokken kalkıp birini sevdim ve bundan...

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Title
Hiç imkanım yokken kalkıp birini sevdim ve bundan...
Text
Submitted by nmb99
Source language: Turkish

Hiç imkanım yokken kalkıp birini sevdim ve bundan dolayı kendimi suçlu hissediyorum. Bunu kimsenin anlamasını beklemiyorum fakat; gel gelelim böyle bir durumda beni anlayan biri çıksaydı zaten aşık olduğum kişi de o olurdu herhalde.
Remarks about the translation
Kısa ve Öz.

Title
I loved a person when I had no chance and I feel ...
Translation
English

Translated by cheesecake
Target language: English

I loved a person when I had no chance and I feel guilty because of that. I don't expect anyone to understand me but on the other hand, if there was someone who could understand me, this person would, without a doubt, be the one I would have fallen in love with.
Validated by Tantine - 22 January 2009 15:44





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17 January 2009 01:22

cheesecake
จำนวนข้อความ: 980
Thank you gbernsdorff and bgl88, it's done now
As I don't know any French, I just consider the Turkish original text, so I guess I have made some mistakes
and thank you too Tantine

16 January 2009 22:23

lenab
จำนวนข้อความ: 1084
Only some small things: "...who could UNDERSTAND me" and "with whom I'd fallen in love."

What do you think?

16 January 2009 22:29

cheesecake
จำนวนข้อความ: 980
Opps yes right, thank you
You are also right about the last sentence, but I couldn't be sure if I should change it, do you think it is wrong like that?

16 January 2009 22:42

lenab
จำนวนข้อความ: 1084
Well, as the relative pronoun is an objective, it should be WHOM. That's what I've learnt

17 January 2009 02:49

superfaco
จำนวนข้อความ: 29
'there was'
'the one I would fall in love with/the one with whom I would fall in love/the one who I would fall in love with"

17 January 2009 02:51

superfaco
จำนวนข้อความ: 29
'this person would undoubtedly/unequivocally be the one...'

17 January 2009 13:47

trusia
จำนวนข้อความ: 15
...

17 January 2009 15:42

gbernsdorff
จำนวนข้อความ: 240
Why don't you leave "who" out altogether? "the one I would have fallen in love with" is perfectly correct and in my opinion it even sounds better.

17 January 2009 15:48

cheesecake
จำนวนข้อความ: 980
Yes, now it sounds better to me too, thanks

18 January 2009 11:20

alekcahdra
จำนวนข้อความ: 16
The first part is missing ("Alors que je n'avais aucune chance...".
I would translate it as "While I had no chance...".
Besides, "quelq'un" is undefined, for I would translate it as "somebody".
Stil, I think the last sentence should be "...that one would be no doubt the one I would [hypothetical in future] fall in love with".

18 January 2009 11:57

gbernsdorff
จำนวนข้อความ: 240

I still feel a little bit puzzled by the combination of the definite article (*the* one) which would indicate that you are thinking about a specific person (probably the one you are speaking about in the first sentence) and the use of the conjunctive moods, which indicate uncertainty, even improbability.
If indeed you are speaking about the person you loved in the first sentence then the indicative mood would make more sense: "the one I have fallen in love with" .
If the Turkish text conveys a more general meaning (not focused on that one person in your first sentence) you had better leave out *the* and write "one I could (or would) have fallen in love with". [subjunctive mood]
Also *if there were someone* and *if there was someone* imply a different degree of
(im)probability.
I feel irksome for not being able to read Turkish but I suggest you check the agreement of moods and tenses once more before submitting your final translation. Best regards.

18 January 2009 12:15

lenab
จำนวนข้อความ: 1084
I think many of the suggestions are based on the French translation. Mark that "Cheesecake" has based her translation on the original Turkish text!!! There are always different ways to put the same thing, and the best way must be to keep close to the original, according to me.

Just one more thing:
As Superfaco already mentioned, "if there was someone" instead of were.

21 January 2009 21:29

Tantine
จำนวนข้อความ: 2747
Hi All

Ooof! There are so many comments and suggestions that my head is begining to spin!!

As cheesecake has done quite a few edits already I am resetting the poll.

Thanks for everyone's contributions/suggestions/comments

Bises
Tantine

21 January 2009 22:38

itsatrap100
จำนวนข้อความ: 279
même = even, I don't understand Turkish, but
même was dropped from the English translation.

21 January 2009 22:40

cheesecake
จำนวนข้อความ: 980
Thank you all, yes I just take the Turkish original text into consideration and I don't know even a little French. But I did most of the corrections that you have suggested, so I guess it will be alright now.

In the original text the writer seems to think that it is almost impossible to find someone who understands him, so that's why I translate "If there were someone" But I don't know about the French text, so if you say it must be "was" then it's OK.
Thanks to everyone

21 January 2009 22:42

cheesecake
จำนวนข้อความ: 980
I'm afraid there is no "even" in Turkish text

22 January 2009 06:55

Tzicu-Sem
จำนวนข้อความ: 493
Hello,

A tiny remark:
I've received the translation to help with the evaluation; I voted as 'correct', but
I wonder about tenses in the last part as there is a conditional 'if':
"if there was someone who could understand me, this person would, without a doubt, be the one I would fall in love with".

22 January 2009 07:24

superfaco
จำนวนข้อความ: 29
Thank you, Tzicu-Sem!
Yes! The conditional perfect tense is useless here to my opinion.

22 January 2009 07:36

superfaco
จำนวนข้อความ: 29
as I said before... The conditional perfect tense does NOT sound proper in this text.
And you need to put 'without a doubt' between commas if you're reluctant to use an adverb.

22 January 2009 15:42

Tantine
จำนวนข้อความ: 2747
Hi All

I agree totally for the use of commas around "without a doubt".

I will add them myself then validate the text.

Thanks for everyone's help here.

Bises
Tantine
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