| | |
| | 2009年 1月 17日 01:22 |
| | Thank you gbernsdorff and bgl88, it's done now
As I don't know any French, I just consider the Turkish original text, so I guess I have made some mistakes
and thank you too Tantine |
| | 2009年 1月 16日 22:23 |
| | Only some small things: "...who could UNDERSTAND me" and "with whom I'd fallen in love."
What do you think? |
| | 2009年 1月 16日 22:29 |
| | Opps yes right, thank you
You are also right about the last sentence, but I couldn't be sure if I should change it, do you think it is wrong like that? |
| | 2009年 1月 16日 22:42 |
| | Well, as the relative pronoun is an objective, it should be WHOM. That's what I've learnt |
| | 2009年 1月 17日 02:49 |
| | 'there was'
'the one I would fall in love with/the one with whom I would fall in love/the one who I would fall in love with" |
| | 2009年 1月 17日 02:51 |
| | 'this person would undoubtedly/unequivocally be the one...' |
| | 2009年 1月 17日 13:47 |
| | |
| | 2009年 1月 17日 15:42 |
| | Why don't you leave "who" out altogether? "the one I would have fallen in love with" is perfectly correct and in my opinion it even sounds better. |
| | 2009年 1月 17日 15:48 |
| | Yes, now it sounds better to me too, thanks |
| | 2009年 1月 18日 11:20 |
| | The first part is missing ("Alors que je n'avais aucune chance..." .
I would translate it as "While I had no chance...".
Besides, "quelq'un" is undefined, for I would translate it as "somebody".
Stil, I think the last sentence should be "...that one would be no doubt the one I would [hypothetical in future] fall in love with". |
| | 2009年 1月 18日 11:57 |
| |
I still feel a little bit puzzled by the combination of the definite article (*the* one) which would indicate that you are thinking about a specific person (probably the one you are speaking about in the first sentence) and the use of the conjunctive moods, which indicate uncertainty, even improbability.
If indeed you are speaking about the person you loved in the first sentence then the indicative mood would make more sense: "the one I have fallen in love with" .
If the Turkish text conveys a more general meaning (not focused on that one person in your first sentence) you had better leave out *the* and write "one I could (or would) have fallen in love with". [subjunctive mood]
Also *if there were someone* and *if there was someone* imply a different degree of
(im)probability.
I feel irksome for not being able to read Turkish but I suggest you check the agreement of moods and tenses once more before submitting your final translation. Best regards.
|
| | 2009年 1月 18日 12:15 |
| | I think many of the suggestions are based on the French translation. Mark that "Cheesecake" has based her translation on the original Turkish text!!! There are always different ways to put the same thing, and the best way must be to keep close to the original, according to me.
Just one more thing:
As Superfaco already mentioned, "if there was someone" instead of were.
|
| | 2009年 1月 21日 21:29 |
| | Hi All
Ooof! There are so many comments and suggestions that my head is begining to spin!!
As cheesecake has done quite a few edits already I am resetting the poll.
Thanks for everyone's contributions/suggestions/comments
Bises
Tantine |
| | 2009年 1月 21日 22:38 |
| | même = even, I don't understand Turkish, but même was dropped from the English translation. |
| | 2009年 1月 21日 22:40 |
| | Thank you all, yes I just take the Turkish original text into consideration and I don't know even a little French. But I did most of the corrections that you have suggested, so I guess it will be alright now.
In the original text the writer seems to think that it is almost impossible to find someone who understands him, so that's why I translate "If there were someone" But I don't know about the French text, so if you say it must be "was" then it's OK.
Thanks to everyone |
| | 2009年 1月 21日 22:42 |
| | I'm afraid there is no "even" in Turkish text |
| | 2009年 1月 22日 06:55 |
| | Hello,
A tiny remark:
I've received the translation to help with the evaluation; I voted as 'correct', but
I wonder about tenses in the last part as there is a conditional 'if':
"if there was someone who could understand me, this person would, without a doubt, be the one I would fall in love with". |
| | 2009年 1月 22日 07:24 |
| | Thank you, Tzicu-Sem!
Yes! The conditional perfect tense is useless here to my opinion. |
| | 2009年 1月 22日 07:36 |
| | as I said before... The conditional perfect tense does NOT sound proper in this text.
And you need to put 'without a doubt' between commas if you're reluctant to use an adverb. |
| | 2009年 1月 22日 15:42 |
| | Hi All
I agree totally for the use of commas around "without a doubt".
I will add them myself then validate the text.
Thanks for everyone's help here.
Bises
Tantine |