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Translation - Romanian-English - Fata de zahăr

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Title
Fata de zahăr
Text
Submitted by salagean andreea
Source language: Romanian

Fata îi spuse că numai dacă îi aduce apa vieţii veşnice se va căsători cu el. Apa veşnică izvora dintr-un munte şi era păzită de un balaur înaripat.
Fiul fierarului porni spre acel munte pentru a omorî balaurul şi a lua apa vie a vieţii veşnice.
Fierarul omorî balaurul şi luă apa după care se întoarse la fată.
Fata stropi florile, păsările, fluturii cu apa vie şi toate se făcuseră argint.
Fierarul se întoarse în ţara lui împreună cu fata de zahăr dar parinţii lui nu mai erau.
Aşa că au trăit fericiţi până la adânci bătrâneţi.
Remarks about the translation
britanic

Title
The girl told him...
Translation
English

Translated by Tzicu-Sem
Target language: English

The girl told him that she would marry him only if he brought her the Water of Eternal Life. The Water of Life sprung from a mountain guarded by a winged dragon.
The blacksmith's son began his journey to that mountain to kill the dragon and take the Water of Eternal Life.
The blacksmith killed the dragon,took the Water, and returned to the girl.
The girl sprinkled with the Water of Life the flowers, the birds, the butterflies, and all turned into silver.
The blacksmith returned to his country with the girl of sugar, but his parents were not alive anymore.
And so, they lived happily ever after.
Validated by lilian canale - 3 February 2009 12:43





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20 January 2009 13:13

iepurica
จำนวนข้อความ: 2102
Mie mi se pare a fi temă, după modul în care sunt construite frazele şi folosite timpurile verbelor. Aştept şi alte opinii, până atunci, traducerea rămâne în stand-by. Voi ce ziceţi?

CC: MÃ¥ddie Freya azitrad

20 January 2009 13:33

MÃ¥ddie
จำนวนข้อความ: 1285
Înclin şi eu să cred că este temă.

CC: iepurica

20 January 2009 14:12

Freya
จำนวนข้อความ: 1910
Poate fi temă, da.

20 January 2009 19:12

azitrad
จำนวนข้อความ: 970
Hmm, eu zic că s-ar putea să nu fie temă Este un singur If clause, iar restul e perfect simplu, care e caracteristic pentru basme. Plus că solicitanta are in jur de 18 ani, şi textul e clar un fragment dintr-un basm... or asta nu se face in clasa a XII-a..



CC: Freya MÃ¥ddie iepurica

20 January 2009 19:17

Freya
จำนวนข้อความ: 1910
Bine, poate să fie şi pentru altcineva presupusa "temă"...Oricum, am văzut că pe aici se traduc foarte multe poezii, citate, versuri de la melodii, lucruri mai artistice. Ceea ce ţine de partea aceasta se traduce mai greu de obicei, dar se poate.

20 January 2009 20:56

iepurica
จำนวนข้อความ: 2102
ok, oscot atunci din stand-by.

17 February 2009 21:06

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
Hi girls, I'd like to know what is going on here.
The translation is done and I have to evaluate it. Should I go ahead or is there anyething wrong with the original?

CC: iepurica Freya MÃ¥ddie

31 January 2009 20:39

MÃ¥ddie
จำนวนข้อความ: 1285
Hi Lilian, I don't think there's something wrong with the original.

We thought that it could be homework, but it was not.

31 January 2009 20:45

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
Oh, OK, then I'll evaluate it.

Tzicu,

There's a typo in "joureny"

"The blacksmith killed the dragon and took the Water, and returned to the girl."
I think there's an extra "and" there. Also is that "the blacksmith" or "the blacksmith's son"?

"The girl of sugar"?

"but his parents were not there anymore"

Tell me what you think.

1 February 2009 11:33

Tzicu-Sem
จำนวนข้อความ: 493
Hello Lilly,

Thank you for your suggestions. I have done some changes regarding 'and' and 'there'.
Regarding 'the girl of sugar': that's what the text calls her. About the 'blacksmith': the text calls him first 'the blacksmith's son' and then he himself is called 'the blacksmith'. It was confusing for me too, but that is what the text states.

Have a wonderful Sunday.

1 February 2009 13:23

MÃ¥ddie
จำนวนข้อความ: 1285
A few small things:

a izvorî din...---> to spring from...

apa vie a vieţii veşnice--->vie was not translated

parinţii lui nu mai erau— I think the meaning is that they were not alive anymore.



1 February 2009 13:29

Tzicu-Sem
จำนวนข้อความ: 493
Thank you Maddie.

I wonder if 'the [b]Living[b/] Water of Eternal Life' is not a redundant information; that was the reason I said only 'Water of Eternal Life'.

Tzicu-Sem

1 February 2009 13:57

MÃ¥ddie
จำนวนข้อความ: 1285
Well, it's your translation and your decision. That's how it goes with tales, , in this case the water was alive too... apart from being eternal.

I still think that when it says the parents were not there anymore it means that he returned after a long time and they were gone.

1 February 2009 16:48

iepurica
จำนวนข้อความ: 2102
"fata de zahăr" sugests a girl who was made of sugar (I'm talking about the Romanian text). Our stories are full of these kind of characters, "made" of different materials.

And I also agree about the second last row of the English translation. It should be "but his parents were not alive anymore".

1 February 2009 16:53

Tzicu-Sem
จำนวนข้อความ: 493
I have changed into 'were not alive'. I guess the meaning is more likely to be the one you two have sugested.
Thank you

1 February 2009 17:26

MÃ¥ddie
จำนวนข้อความ: 1285
You're welcome.