Translation - Portuguese brazilian-Latin - Quero ser livre...

Hi Lilian,
Can I ask you a bridge, pls.

CC: lilian canale

Before evaluating the translation, please ask Alex to adapt it to the edit I made in the original. I added "I want" in the beginning of the first sentence to fit our rules.

Alex, could you, pls.

I hope I've made the right changes.

Lilian, can I ask you once more?

CC: lilian canale

"I want to be free to fly,
To be free to feel the love the moon taught me.
To be free to show the sky is within a stone's throw (very close).
To be free, to be what I have dreamed (to be)."

Thanks!

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Hi Alex,

I've got some tips for you, if you don't mind:

1."ut amorem doctum a luna sentiam" sounds a bit unclear.
"ut amorem a luna doctum sentiam" would be so much clearer.
But as a matter of fact, I wouldn't use participium "doctum" here. It is too ambiguous, because it might be also an adjective.

What about:
"ut amorem quem ex luna didici sentiam"?

2. "ut monstrem coelum iam illic esse"
"monstrem" --> to the end of the sentence, please.
"coelum iam illic esse" --> coelum instare (=to be close)?

3. The most difficult one: "quod somniavi esse"
--> "ut is/id sim, de quo me esse somniavi"?

They are just my proposals. Tell me, Alex, whether you like them or not.

Aneta

1. "ut amorem quem e luna didici sentiam"
You know, I always try to think "Latinly" and to translate by asking myself what an ancient Roman would have said.
It is not as easy as it may seem, but luckily I have you

2. "ut coelum instare monstrem"
I've never seen the verb "instare" before...

3. Yes, here I didn't make the right changes.
Can we drop "is/id"? Would "ut sim de quo me esse somniavi" sound weird?



Nice avatar! Whose are those eyes?

Unfortunately not mine, but they are so Cucumis-like...

No, it wouldn't. We can skip the subject (is/id) indeed.
Macte, amice!

Gratias maximas tibi ago, magistra!

I know we have already reached a consensus about the translation. However, I'd make one more change if you didn't mind, dear friend.

Liberam esse ut sim de quo me fore somniavi.

fore=futurum esse

How do you think?

I really like your suggestion! Sounds really "Latin"