Dịch - Portuguese brazilian-English - Soneto (2)

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Title

Soneto (2)

Text
Submitted by

goncin

Source language: Portuguese brazilian

TITANIC

Olha ao mundo o poeta, porque Ã© a sua sina,
Sem jamais cogitar qualquer maldade haver,
E se deixa, inocente, de amor envolver
Pelo encanto sutil de uma alma feminina.

De teus olhos assim mergulhei no oceano,
Naveguei em teus braÃ§os, doce calmaria.
Teu mar, porÃ©m, sÃ³ de passagem me queria,
E logo naufraguei na praia desse engano.

Ora sei que por mim choras, arrependida,
Fere-te a solidÃ£o, culpa daquele mal,
Pois sabes que Ã© Ãºnica a paixÃ£o de uma vida.

O pranto que derramas encontra seu igual
Naquele que chorei por tua despedida,
LÃ¡grimas diferentes que tÃªm o mesmo sal...

Title

Sonnet 2

Dịch

English

Translated by

lilian canale

Target language: English

TITANIC

The poet looks at the world, for being his fate,
without pondering that there is any evil,
and allows himself to be involved, innocently, by love
because of the subtle appeal of a woman's soul.

From your eyes, I dove into the ocean,
I sailed in your arms, sweet lull.
Your sea, however, just wanted me by the by,
and I soon disappeared in the beach of that error.

I know you weep for me now, regretful,
solitude hurts you, because of that evil
since you know the passion of a life is unique.

The tears you cry match their peers,
those I cried at your farewell,
different tears sharing the same salt...

Validated by dramati - 16 Tháng 2 2008 20:37

Bài gửi sau cùng

	Tác giả	Bài gửi
		12 Tháng 2 2008 11:10
	lilian canale Tổng số bài gửi: 14972	I could edit to "different tears sharing the same salt" Does that sound better to you?
		12 Tháng 2 2008 11:25
	goncin Tổng số bài gửi: 3706	"Different tears sharing the same salt" looks fine!
		12 Tháng 2 2008 12:44
	dramati Tổng số bài gửi: 972	Hi! without cogitating that there is any evil Are you sure this is correct? It means to take careful thought or think carefully about; ponder. Don't you think a synonym might be better in a poem than cogitating?
		12 Tháng 2 2008 14:02
	lilian canale Tổng số bài gửi: 14972	Hi David: it's been a long time! As you can see, I tried to keep to the meaning of the verses as much as possible.Translating poetry is a tough task! The author, himself, has collaborated greatly. I used "to cogitate", perhaps influenced by the cognate in Portuguese. I think "ponder", or "consider" would work well, maybe even better in English, but I'd like Goncin to give his opinion, since "cogitate" is also correct. What do you think?
		12 Tháng 2 2008 14:24
	dramati Tổng số bài gửi: 972	It is correct, just not very poetic an a lot of English speakers don't even know the meaning of the word.
		12 Tháng 2 2008 14:33
	lilian canale Tổng số bài gửi: 14972	David: There are words in the original that I can asure you not many Portuguese speakers know! That's why it was so hard to translate. Reading and understanding poetry is not for anyone. It's a privilege that we are among those who can do it. However, I can use "to ponder" instead of "to cogitate" if you wish. It's Ok to me. I think it fits perfectly as well.
		13 Tháng 2 2008 10:47
	dramati Tổng số bài gửi: 972	I think that would be better in English
		13 Tháng 2 2008 11:05
	goncin Tổng số bài gửi: 3706	What about "without conceiving of that there is any evil"? "Ponder" seems to me one is thinking thoroughly (correct me if I'm wrong). In the original text, I meant something like "couldn't ever think of".
		13 Tháng 2 2008 11:24
	lilian canale Tổng số bài gửi: 14972	Good morning, Goncin. If you didn't like "ponder" I'll give you some more options. Here you are. Pick one: 1- envisage 2- dream up 3- assume 4- accept 5- admit or the already mentioned "consider".
		13 Tháng 2 2008 11:52
	goncin Tổng số bài gửi: 3706	Lili, From now on, I'll let this between you and David. I've already intervened too much...
		13 Tháng 2 2008 12:01
	lilian canale Tổng số bài gửi: 14972	So, David...I think it's up to you. I've changed to "ponder", but I may change that as many times as it takes to achieve the most accurate version. Therefore, after the author's point of view been set...Which do you think woud be the best option? Now, you pick one!
		14 Tháng 2 2008 17:40
	Ana FalcÃ£o Tổng số bài gửi: 2	4Âª frase da primeiro 1Âº poema para ser fiel deveria ser: By the charm of a subtle womanÂ´s soul. 3Âª frase do 2Âº poema deveria ser: your sea, houwevever, just wonted me by passing
		15 Tháng 2 2008 08:21
	dramati Tổng số bài gửi: 972	I like ponder...it reminds me of Poe!
		15 Tháng 2 2008 10:24
	lilian canale Tổng số bài gửi: 14972	OK, Let it be, ponder, then! I hope you won't consider those comments above or her vote. They don't make any sense let alone she misspelled everything
		15 Tháng 2 2008 14:36
	dramati Tổng số bài gửi: 972	Ok. I will get on this as soon as I get back Saturday night.
		16 Tháng 2 2008 01:03
	IanMegill2 Tổng số bài gửi: 1671	Hi Lilian, At the beginning, does The poet looks at the world, for being his fate, mean The poet looks at the world, because it is his fate, ?
		16 Tháng 2 2008 01:08
	IanMegill2 Tổng số bài gửi: 1671	Also, I think Your sea, however, just wanted me by the by, and I soon disappeared in the beach of that error. means Your sea, however, only casually wanted me, and I was soon shipwrecked on the beach of that error. ?
		16 Tháng 2 2008 01:10
	lilian canale Tổng số bài gửi: 14972	Yes, Ian . Exactly. That is valid for both messages.
		16 Tháng 2 2008 01:11
	lilian canale Tổng số bài gửi: 14972	Yes, Ian both guesses are correct.
		16 Tháng 2 2008 19:10
	sofi.rezende Tổng số bài gửi: 5	Some words are missing.

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