Translation - Turks-Frans - julie

Quelques petites erreurs à corriger :

- Majuscule au début de chaque strophe
- ligne 4 : brule brûle
- en milieu de texte enlever ------
( Aşkım = mon amour )
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- ligne 8 : fanné fané
- ligne 10 : "combien de nuit ça fait déjà sans toi"
"combien de nuits déjà sans toi", car "ça fait" n'est pas très heureux comme formulation

- Avant-dernière ligne : est-ce que ce n'est pas suffisant maintenant => N'est-ce pas suffisant maintenant
- Dernière ligne : "ta haine ne s'est-elle pas atténuée

S'il vous plaît, copiez-collez le corrigé ci-dessous :

Mon amour tu n'es pas venu hier
Mon amour j'ai passé mon temps à t'attendre
Mon amour tu n'étais pas comme ça avant
Mon amour comme tu as changé

Mon amour, ma peau brûle la nuit
Mon amour tu ne sais pas, toi
Mon amour, celui/celle que j'aime

Je suis devenu(e) automne, j'ai fané mais tu n'es toujours pas venu
J'ai été démoli par ton amour mais tu n'es pas venu
Tu es sans scrupule, combien de nuits déjà sans toi

Mais je ne t'ai tout de même pas effacé
Je t'aime
Je t'aime
J'attends

Être sans toi est une persécution
Une persécution insoutenable
N'est-ce pas suffisant maintenant
Ta haine ne s'est elle pas atténuée

Je soumettrai ensuite votre traduction au poll d'évaluation par la communauté et demanderai une traduction intermédiaire vers l'anglais.

Merci!

Hi Bilge and/or Figen, and/or Mesud, please may I have a bridge from this text?

Thanks!

CC: Mesud2991 FIGEN KIRCI Bilge Ertan

1S3N, j'ai corrigé votre texte, ainsi nous gagnerons du temps.

Hi Francky!
I'm on it, just need a little time to think over the metaphors (or should I send you the literal translation?). see you soon.

Thanks Figen!

A literal translation would be fine, it's just in order to evaluate whether this french version has the same meaning as the original version.
But please take your time, ok?

:1

Hi Francky

My interpretation is as follows:

My love, you didn’t come last night
My love, I always waited for you
My love, you weren't like yourself
My love, how you changed

My love, my skin burns at night
My love, you are unaware of it
My love, my beloved

I’ve become autumn, withered, you haven’t come
I’m down with your love
How many nights I spent without you, heartless

I still haven’t written you off
My love, I love you
My love, I love you
My love, I’m waiting

My love, being without you is cruelty
My love, it is unbearable cruelty
Haven’t I had it enough?
My love, hasn’t your anger subsided?

Here we go:

My love, you didn't come last night
My love, I waited for you all the time (we could use 'awaited' as well)
My love, you were not like this (before)
My love, how you have changed

My love, you have no idea
how I'm burning all night*
My love, my beloved

I've fallen out and faded**, but you didn't come
I grieved for your love, but you didn't come
You, hard hearted, how many nights it's been without you
Nevertheless, I didn't erase you (=>wipe out of my mind)

My love, I love you
My love, I love you
My love, I'm waiting (for you)

My love, being without you is a cruelty
My love, unbearable persecution/cruelty
My love, isn't that enough yet
My love, hasn't your anger calmed down (yet)

-------
This is a song by Ibrahim Erkal; lirycs are written with rhymes, that's why I made little changes and I've a few notes here.

*Here verbatim says:
'My love, my skin burns at night..', but I think it sounds better the way I've written it above.

**Here we have a metaphor 'Hazan oldum soldum' => 'hazan' means 'fall/autumn' and the poet compares that feeling as a 'fall of a leaf'=> that's why I translated this part as "I've fallen out and faded"
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phew,that was long, hope it'll help.

Thanks a lot both of you, Figen and Mesud, now I can evaluate this translation according to your bridges

You are welcome.