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Original text - Arapski - ! إلى من كانت Øبيبتي شعر الدكتور مروان عكله...Current status Original text
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Category Poetry
| ! إلى من كانت Øبيبتي شعر الدكتور مروان عكله... | | Source language: Arapski
إلى من كانت Øبيبتي! شعر الدكتور مروان عكله 30.12.2004 شَيَّعْت٠أَØلامي بÙقَلب٠باك٠ودَÙَنْت٠ÙÙŠ Ù…ÙØرابÙÙ‡Ù Ø°Ùكْراك٠وَنَÙَضْت٠من شَوْق٠المÙØÙبّ٠مشاعري ÙˆØÙŽÙ„ÙŽÙت٠للأيام٠أنْ أنساك٠Ùَلَقَدْ كَتَمْت٠السَّهْمَ ÙÙŠ قلبي Ùلن أرجوك٠ثانيةً، ÙˆÙيمَ رَجاك٠كذَبَتْ ظÙنون٠الØÙبّ٠Ùيَّ Ùَلَمْ أَعÙدْ عَبْداً تÙØَرّÙÙƒÙه٠رÙياØ٠هَواك٠لا لمْ تعودي زهْرةَ العÙمْرÙالذي أنْÙَقْتÙه٠سَعْياً Ù„Ùنَيْل٠رÙضاكÙ
| Remarks about the translation | traduction en français de france
<edit> ! إلى من كانت Øبيبتي شعر الدكتور مروان عكله 30.12.2004 ودَÙَنْت٠ÙÙŠ Ù…ÙØرابÙÙ‡Ù Ø°Ùكْراك٠شَيَّعْت٠أَØلامي بÙقَلب٠باك٠وØÙŽÙ„ÙŽÙت٠للأيام٠أنْ أنساك٠وَنَÙَضْت٠من شَوْق٠المÙØÙبّ٠مشاعري أرجوك٠ثانيةً، ÙˆÙيمَ رَجاك٠Ùَلَقَدْ كَتَمْت٠السَّهْمَ ÙÙŠ قلبي Ùَلَنْ عَبْداً تÙØَرّÙÙƒÙه٠رÙياØ٠هَواك٠كذَبَتْ ظÙنون٠الØÙبّ٠Ùيَّ Ùَلَمْ أَعÙدْ أنْÙَقْتÙه٠سَعْياً Ù„Ùنَيْل٠رÙضاك٠لا لمْ تعودي زهْرةَ العÙمْرÙالذي
with
إلى من كانت Øبيبتي! شعر الدكتور مروان عكله 30.12.2004 شَيَّعْت٠أَØلامي بÙقَلب٠باك٠ودَÙَنْت٠ÙÙŠ Ù…ÙØرابÙÙ‡Ù Ø°Ùكْراك٠وَنَÙَضْت٠من شَوْق٠المÙØÙبّ٠مشاعري ÙˆØÙŽÙ„ÙŽÙت٠للأيام٠أنْ أنساك٠Ùَلَقَدْ كَتَمْت٠السَّهْمَ ÙÙŠ قلبي Ùلن أرجوك٠ثانيةً، ÙˆÙيمَ رَجاك٠كذَبَتْ ظÙنون٠الØÙبّ٠Ùيَّ Ùَلَمْ أَعÙدْ عَبْداً تÙØَرّÙÙƒÙه٠رÙياØ٠هَواك٠لا لمْ تعودي زهْرةَ العÙمْرÙالذي أنْÙَقْتÙه٠سَعْياً Ù„Ùنَيْل٠رÙضاك٠</edit>
according to jaq84's notification
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Last messages | | | | | 23 December 2008 10:38 | | jaq84Number of messages: 568 | There is something wrong with the rythm in this poetry also in understanding it. I think that's due to problems with the direction. I believe it should be like this:
! إلى من كانت Øبيبتي
شعر الدكتور مروان عكله 30-12-2004
شَيَّعْت٠أَØلامي بÙقَلب٠باك٠ودَÙَنْت٠ÙÙŠ Ù…ÙØرابÙÙ‡Ù Ø°ÙكْراكÙ
ÙˆÙŽÙ†ÙŽÙَضْت٠من شَوْق٠المÙØÙبّ٠مشاعري ÙˆØÙŽÙ„ÙŽÙت٠للأيام٠أنْ أنساكÙ
Ùَلَقَدْ كَتَمْت٠السَّهْمَ ÙÙŠ قلبي Ùلن أرجوك٠ثانيةً، ÙˆÙيمَ رَجاكÙ
كذَبَتْ ظÙنون٠الØÙبّ٠Ùيَّ Ùَلَمْ أَعÙدْ عَبْداً تÙØَرّÙÙƒÙه٠رÙياØ٠هَواكÙ
لا لمْ تعودي زهْرةَ العÙمْرÙالذي أنْÙَقْتÙه٠سَعْياً Ù„Ùنَيْل٠رÙضاكÙ
You see, the ends all are the same now.
This way it reads different, so the translation will be different.
CC: Francky5591 | | | 23 December 2008 10:44 | | | | | | 23 December 2008 10:51 | | jaq84Number of messages: 568 | You know what? the "!" should be at the end of the line!! I think I have direction problems myself CC: Francky5591 | | | 23 December 2008 10:55 | | | Yeah! not that easy! when I'm posting admin's message in Arabic or Hebrew, I'm often obliged to resume posting it until I'm satisfied! | | | 23 December 2008 11:02 | | jaq84Number of messages: 568 | This piece is not an easy one!!
A translation (can't be a litteral one):
"To this who was my love(r)! (she is a female lover)
Poetry of Dr.Marwan Oklah 30-12-2004
I said farewell to my dreams with a tearful heart and burried the memory of you in it's chancel (it refers to my tearful heart)
And I cleared my feelings from the yearning of the lover and sweared to the days I shall forget you
You have aimed your arrow at my heart so I won't beg you, for what's to beg (or what's the sense in that)
Love has no power over me for I'm no longer a slave moved by the wind of your vagaries (fantacies, desires)
No, you're no longer the rose that blossomed in the life that I spent trying to gain your approbation (satisfaction, approval)" CC: Francky5591 | | | 23 December 2008 14:48 | | | Just a try, too bad Tantine can't be connected these last times (broadband connection in Corsica is so messy!), as she's much more skilled than I am with poetry...
"À celui qui fut mon amour, poésie de Dr. Marwan Oklah, 30.12.2004 :
C'est le coeur en larmes que j'ai dit adieu à mes rêves, et enterré profondément le souvenir que j'avais de toi,
Et j'ai effacé de mon âme tout désir amoureux en jurant qu'à l'avenir je t'oublierai.
Ta flèche a atteint mon coeur, aussi ne te supplierai-je pas, pour ce qu'il reste à supplier
L'amour n'a aucune prise sur moi, j'ai cessé d'être une esclave oscillant au vent de tes caprices.
Non, tu n'es plus la rose qui fleurit dans la vie que j'ai passée à essayer de gagner ton approbation."
| | | 23 December 2008 14:51 | | | I worked a bit on it since I posted above, this might be a right translation, so if you don't mind, jaq84, I'll now use the translation frame and notify it was translated from the bridge you provided.
Thanks a lot for the bridge!
| | | 23 December 2008 18:42 | | jaq84Number of messages: 568 | C'est bon!
I read it. but I'm afraid some people might go litteral with some parts.
like:
"You have aimed your arrow at my heart ..."
I litteraly says:
"You placed your arrow in my heart..."
And in the part:
"...the rose that blossomed in the life..."
It literaly says:
"...the rose in the life..."
But I added the blossoming thing for clarity and to make it more beautiful when translated, I think a translator is allowed to do that.
What else?
Yah,in:
"Love has no power over..."
It litterally says something like:
"The expectations of love about me have proven to be a lie..." (I worked hard to produce the litteral one ).
I had to tell you all that so you won't be surprised by the feedback you may get.(Plus, my translation has become a reference, oh boy )
Any consultations required, I shall be welling to give!
CC: Francky5591 |
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