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Translation - English-Arabic - Dialogue with a Border Guard

Current statusTranslation
This text is available in the following languages: EnglishArabic

Category Daily life - Daily life

Title
Dialogue with a Border Guard
Text
Submitted by ThunderStorm
Source language: English

He is Still here. We will bring him to stand before the shaikh soon. Hopefully the sheikh will take him off my hands. The man was talking and crying all night. Wouldn't let me sleep.

No. I wanted nothing to do with him. The man is a disgrace to his brothers.

He must have fallen asleep. Like I told you, he was up all night.

He will do what God wants. Why do these people want to see him?

God willing, he will have the answers.

Stop! Stop!

He is a fool.

Go. But do not stay long.
Remarks about the translation
This is from a script I received. They are two scenes from a TV program that I need to translate to Arabic.
Basically in the first scene, this guard is reponding to a visitor. In the second scene, he is trying to stop an envoy from going through a restricted area.

Would appreciate a decent translation as I am not sure about my own. Thanks

Title
حوار مع حارس حدود
Translation
Arabic

Translated by B. Trans
Target language: Arabic

ما زال هنا. سنحضره للوقوف بين يدي الشيخ قريباً. علّ الشيخ يزيح همّه عنّي. الرجل كان يتحدّث ويبكي طوال الليل. لم يدعني أنام.

لا. لم أُرد أية صلة به. إنه عار على إخوته.

لا بد أنه وقع نائماً. كما أخبرتك، كان مستيقظاً طوال الليل.

سيفعل ما شاء الله. لمَ يريد هؤلاء الناس رؤيته؟

إن شاء الله، ستكون عنده الأجوية.

توقّف! توقّف!

إنه أبله.

اذهب. لكن لا تتأخّر.
Remarks about the translation
written Arabic
elmota:
كان مستيقظاً طوال الليل
can also be
لم ينم طوال الليل
which means: he didnt sleap all night, it sounds better in Arabic
Validated by elmota - 10 April 2008 07:26





Last messages

Author
Message

6 April 2008 20:47

B. Trans
Number of messages: 44
To elmota:
لا أشك أنك أكثر دراية بنقل معاني كلمات مثل "fool" إلى أبله، لكن تحويل جملة "وقع نائما" إلى "استغرق نوماً" لا أراها موفقة.

لقد كنت أنا هذه المرة أكثر التزاما بالحرفية وبكلمات الأصل الإنجليزي، جيد أننا لا نختلف فعلا كما كان يبدو في المكان آخر، باستثناء طريقة تعبيرنا عن أفكارنا ربما. لكنني مع ذلك سأحرص على أن أوضح أنني التزمت الحرفية أكثر لأن بعض الصيغ أصبحت شائعة تماما، عبارات مثل: وقع نائما، "يقف أمام" الأكثر عصرية كمقابل للمعنى القديم "يعرض على" والأقدم منه "المثول".

أوافقك على "علّ الشيخ يزيح همّه عنّي"، و"سيفعل ما شاء الله". اختياراتك هنا أفضل.

وتبقى
he will have the answers
معتمدة على أي معنى مقصود في الواقع. إذا كان الضمير لا يعود على الله كما افترضت أنا، فلا بأس. خلاف ذلك أجد اختياراتي أوفق وإن كانت بعيدة قليلا.

6 April 2008 23:14

lilian canale
Number of messages: 14972
Hi B Trans

You called for an admin, but I'm afraid we are not able to understand Arabic.
Please, would you post in English so that we can help you?
Thanks.

6 April 2008 23:41

B. Trans
Number of messages: 44
Sorry lilian canale, it's my mistake, there is no need for administration.

I'm just not aware of the hierarchy of administration, and thought that being able to edit posts means that 'elmota' would be an admin and gets notified.

It's just a discussion with elmota about her modifications on this translation.

Thank you very much.

6 April 2008 23:45

ThunderStorm
Number of messages: 3
I am unable to see the original translation that B. Trans did before Elmota's edits... I too would like to be able to compare the two...

Is there a history place where one is able to view the various changes made etc.??

Thanks all.

6 April 2008 23:49

lilian canale
Number of messages: 14972
Hi elmota,

I wonder if you copy/pasted the original version before the edits (very unlikely, I guess), B Trans and ThunderStorm would like to compare both.

CC: elmota

7 April 2008 03:43

elmota
Number of messages: 744
hmm, no i didnt, i just came in, found out its not very correct and changed it, but i admit, i had time at my hand so i was walking through it freely changing it to a more correct format, b trans, you have said it urself, i was right more times than you have, and i disagree with you on "modern arabic" there is no such thing, words are words, and "stand before" is 100% english, translating it literally unfortunately is a common mistake in arabic, there is no "يقف أمام" it has always been "المثول" as a matter of fact even that is pretty new. the original was longer by the way i had to take out lots of words (simplicity is always the key)
as for "he will have the answers" if it was meant to be God, the word would be "He" and the translation would not be "السميع العليم" no matter what good intentions you had

7 April 2008 11:18

elmota
Number of messages: 744
i changed استغرق نوماً to خرّ نائماً
much better, agree?
as for أبله i dont mind مغفّل but that would be "idiot" more... but what i do mind and i should drive your attention to is "أخرق/مغفل"
reason being: cucumis performs word count and updates everytime a translation is validated, so if you have two words for one, that increases the ratio of Arabic/English word count, and that affects all future translations, because future translators cannot submit a translation that deviates from the standard ratio, so be careful, if you have different words, use the comment box
thanks b trans, i totally appreciate your work here

7 April 2008 11:20

elmota
Number of messages: 744
how about "الوقوف بين يدي الشيخ" instead of "للمثول"

7 April 2008 20:35

B. Trans
Number of messages: 44
"stand before" is an authentic Arabic expression. You find in the Quranic verse: {وقفوهم إنهم مسؤولون}
it's implied of course that the standing of humans is always before someone, but you know the Arabic eloquence that tends to implication. So it's 100% original, besides what you've said yourself that translating it literally is a common practice, from which it acquired its modernity impression.

"الوقوف بين يدي الشيخ" is a perfect choice. But "خر نائما" is not quite good, because "خر" literally means "to snore". "سقط نائما" is my preference because there is no better one.

I don't know how to thank you enough for your interaction and help. I learnt alot, even though we didn't agree all along. Thank you Amal.

ThunderStorm: elmota will do the appropriate changes, I hope you could use of the translation.

p.s, سيكون should be ستكون.

9 April 2008 13:08

elmota
Number of messages: 744
this is great, i like where we got at last, but about "خر" dont we say "خر واقعاً"? im sure i heard that before

9 April 2008 22:26

B. Trans
Number of messages: 44
Yes, you're right about that, "خر نائما".. "غط في النوم"..it's actually a kind of common mistake committed by some Arab writers, that they consider them equivalent to "fallen asleep", while their accurate meaning is "snoring in his sleep".

Aynway it won't suit this particular translation, in which the source actually refers to tiredness as why he's fallen asleep (as I understand it), not to the sleep condition or its depth.