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Translation - Polish-English - Nie uciekaj

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Category Poetry - Love / Friendship

Title
Nie uciekaj
Text
Submitted by Aneta B.
Source language: Polish

Nie uciekaj

nie odchodź Przyjaciółko
jestem
nie uciekaj
komuś naprawdę zależy
a ty tak nieładnie
nie wierzysz

patrzÄ™
jak zamykasz siebie
by powiedzieć światu
że stracił sens
zamykasz i płaczesz
bo nie potrafisz inaczej
choć ja jestem

powiedz mi Przyjaciółko
gdzie cię szukać
powiedz
jak cię wołać
by przekrzyczeć
to co w tobie
krzyczy
Remarks about the translation
British English

Title
Don't escape
Translation
English

Translated by iluvmilka
Target language: English

Don't escape

Don’t leave, Friend
I am here
Don’t escape!
Somebody really cares about you
But you don’t believe
Bad girl

I see you
Closing yourself off
To tell the whole world
That it has lost its sense
You are closing yourself off and crying
Because you can’t do it another way
Although I am here

Tell me, Friend
Where am I to look for you
Tell me
How to call you
To shout down
What is shouting in you
Remarks about the translation
1). Words in brackets were not included in the initial version, i added them by myself because i thought it would be more suitable but they are not necessary
*I couldnt really translate "nieładnie" which basically means "not nicely" or "unfairly" as it does make sense in Polish but in English it doesnt
Validated by kafetzou - 16 October 2009 04:52





Last messages

Author
Message

3 October 2009 21:22

iluvmilka
Number of messages: 77
ok, 'bad girl' sounds perfect
You can also use "run away" and "go away" instead of escape and leave but i thought they'd be more appropriate as that's poetry, not everyday language.

3 October 2009 21:26

Aneta B.
Number of messages: 4487
You're absolutely right, my dear translator!

p.s. Moreover, that "bad girl" will show us the sex of the Friend...

3 October 2009 21:55

iluvmilka
Number of messages: 77
yea, that's right as in english you dont have different forms for a friend female or male, there's just one word describing them regardless their sex

3 October 2009 21:58

Aneta B.
Number of messages: 4487
and don't worry about the rest, my dear. I believe Laura and Lilly take care of it...

4 October 2009 03:21

kafetzou
Number of messages: 7963
This is a super translation. How about "unfortunately" for the word with the *? Unfairly is OK in English, but Ania is right that it doesn't sound right in this context. "Bad girl" sounds fine, if you want to use that instead.

Why is "friend" capitalized?

A couple more suggestions:

I am (here) --> I am here (I think that's what you wanted to do - it sounds perfect.)
You are closing yourself --> ... off
shall --> should
Tell --> Tell me
I see
You closing yourself off -->
I see you
Closing yourself off

Note: I love the last two lines!

4 October 2009 14:39

iluvmilka
Number of messages: 77
i used "shall' as it is very British

4 October 2009 18:24

kafetzou
Number of messages: 7963
But it has a different meaning - it's more like an offer than a request for advice, as in "Shall I open that for you?"

4 October 2009 18:48

iluvmilka
Number of messages: 77
ok, fair enough

4 October 2009 21:43

Aneta B.
Number of messages: 4487
"friend" is capitalized, because we use capital letters when we want to emphasise the importance of sth/sb in Polish language... But, in English it may not work like this, I know

5 October 2009 06:22

kafetzou
Number of messages: 7963
Well, in English it might be taken to refer to God.

12 October 2009 17:48

kafetzou
Number of messages: 7963
Aneta and Ania, what's happening with this one?

13 October 2009 11:02

iluvmilka
Number of messages: 77
I don't know. Apparently, it's up to you

14 October 2009 03:13

kafetzou
Number of messages: 7963
Aren't you supposed to make the changes I proposed? Or does the expert do that nowadays?

14 October 2009 13:03

iluvmilka
Number of messages: 77
If you want me to make any changes Aneta must agree with them first because as i said, in my opinion shall sounds more British, and at the end of the day that's what Aneta wanted. You are an expert so you either accept or reject my translation but i am not going to change it as it is my translation and i don;t agre with you.

14 October 2009 19:10

Aneta B.
Number of messages: 4487
Which suggestions of Laura don't you agree, Ania?
I wanted only to be changed "Unluckily" into "Bad girl"...

15 October 2009 00:59

Aneta B.
Number of messages: 4487
Well, I suggest these changes:


Tell me, Friend
Where am I to look for you
Tell me
How to call you
To shout down
What is shouting in you

Would be this acceptable?

15 October 2009 07:49

kafetzou
Number of messages: 7963
I think your suggestion is OK, Aneta. I don't know why iluvmilka doesn't want to participate anymore in this. I can't read Polish, so I really can't be sure about my corrections - I only know what would be understood and sounds correct in English.

15 October 2009 07:53

kafetzou
Number of messages: 7963
Anyway, I have made a few edits and I will accept it if you are happy with it, Aneta. Please let me know (by responding to this message).

15 October 2009 10:13

Aneta B.
Number of messages: 4487
For me, perfect! Thank you, Laura!
Of course, if you claim that we shouldn't use capital letter in English in a word "Friend", you can also change it.

Anyway, I'd like Ania also to accept it before evaluating...

15 October 2009 16:46

iluvmilka
Number of messages: 77
I do, seriously, i've done my bit and if im wrong just correct me
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