翻訳 - イタリア語-英語 - Gl Artwork 6

Ciao Tantine, thank you for your work.

Some doubts:

1) Aqua...is this ok?
2) viene rappresentato come fonte di ricchezza e di potere, più che come fonte di vita -> Is representes as source of money and power, more than as source of life.
3) , of water as the petrol of the future, -> I would omit commas
4) The war for water is a bloody but also subtle war, battled out through legislative, financial and industrial manoeuvres. -> Missing "scaltre"
5) media is already plural...isn't it?

Please check it out.

Salut

Xini

Hi Xini

Thanks for your help.

I've made the edits you suggested, I hope its ok now.

For me "Aqua" should be ok. I left it like this because it had a capital letter (so I take it as a proper noun). Also as "aqua" is a well used prefix in English (eg aqualung, aquarium,...) I don't think it will be misinterpreted.

Media (without "s" is already a plural in English as it follows the latin rule ...um => ...a

Bises
Tantine

In my last message

"Is representes as source of money and power"

I wanted to say

is representeD

Would it be better if I put:

"... represented the source of wealth and power rather than the source of life."

If that's ok I can change it.

Basgi
Tantine

That's ok, if it's ok in English. But I think you shall put it in present form.

Hi again

Is this better:

"...represents the source of wealth and power rather than the source of life." ?

If its ok with you I'll change it to this.

Bises
Tantine

Hi again

Is this better:

"...represents the source of wealth and power rather than the source of life." ?

If its ok with you I'll change it to this.

Bises
Tantine

I think it's better if you turn the passive form into active:

WA[te]R represents the Aqua element as (a) source of...


What do you think about it?

Hi Xini

Is this better?

Bises
Tantine

Hm, sorry but I would omit the initial comma and add "of" between source and wealth.

But with "ricchezza" I mean money/profit not just wealth, it should have a negative connotation, is this possible to find a better word?

Please be patient

Hi Xini

I'll take out the comma and put "of" back in. I lost "of" whilst doing an edit and didn't realise!!

Don't worry about me being patient, this is your text and you know how you want it to "feel" at the end. Make as many suggestions or changes as you like, I'm more than happy about editing them.

How do you like

"WA(te)R represents the element Aqua as a source of profits and power rather than as a source of life."

or

"Wa(te)R represents the element Aqua as a source of gain and power rather than as a source of life"."

I would even suggest that if you are not too happy with the word "Aqua" in English you could put:

"...represents the Liquid Element as a source..."

In using the capitals it makes it obvious that we are talking aboout one of the four (major) elements and makes the beginning less ambiguous in English. I know I said it was OK at first, but more I see the phrase more I feel uncomfortable with "Aqua".

So the first phrase could read:

"WA(te)R represents the Liquid Element as a source of gain and power rather than as the source of Life."

Putting the capital at the word "Life" links it back to the "Liquid Element" (not only by the aliteration with the L, but also by repeated capitals) which reinforces the paradox itself. In a visual manner it makes it obvious that gain and power are incongruous in such an "equation". (If you see what I mean).

Let me know what suits you best. We can try several edits, its no bother to me. I like translating your work. I'm very interested by your texts and hope I will be able to see your work for myself.

Bises
Tantine (the 7th Element!!!

Thank you for your support.

I changed the original text, so now you can use

This work represents the element Water (or the Water element?) as a source of profits and power rather than as a source of life.

If this is ok, then ---> The End.

Hi Xini

How's this?

Bises
Tantine

Now ok, nothing left to say.
Let's wait for Kafetzou and thank you very much once more.

Petrol...very British...oil?

Maybe you're right about "petrol" its very british. "Oil" or "crude oil" could easily fit.

Bises
Tantine