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| | 17 Oktober 2008 15:59 |
| piasTal av boðum: 8113 | Hi Tantine.
I had a pm. from sismo, and I understand her! Then Lein, the Dutch expert told me I could maybe ask you for a little bit of help, to improve the translation. I don't know ...I mean, if you have the time I'm glad, if not I understand the rejection.
sismo's pm:
"Thank you for your translation of my Danish song. Unfortunately, I don't think you have catched the poetic atmosphere of the song. I think you made it a bit too much like everyday language. I wanted the English translationto be the basis for translation into other languages. Therefore I did not translate it myself, but was hoping for a native British translator."
CC: Tantine |
| | 17 Oktober 2008 16:50 |
| | Hej Pia. Don't want you to feel that I'm coming into your translation; I know the song, can even sing it and I would give a bridge like that:
Fight for everything you love
Die if it goes it
Life will then not be so hard
And neither will Dead."
What do you think, honestly. |
| | 17 Oktober 2008 17:12 |
| piasTal av boðum: 8113 | I think, thanks dear Lene.
You as a native probably know this song much better than me.
sismo, is it better that way? |
| | 18 Oktober 2008 00:38 |
| | Hi girls
I know I was not called into this, but as you know I have a weakness for poetry ...and I'd like to give some ideas:
Struggle for your passions
Admit dying for them
Thus life won't be a suffering
And neither will death
CC: Anita_Luciano Tantine |
| | 17 Oktober 2008 18:35 |
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| | 17 Oktober 2008 23:03 |
| piasTal av boðum: 8113 | Wow, thanks Lilian
That was a bit different! I like to edit to your suggest, and then transfer you the points. |
| | 18 Oktober 2008 00:52 |
| | Hi Girls
Sorry I was long in replying, and before I could, Lilly had already posted an excellent suggestion
I think you can validate Lilly's version
Bises
Tantine |
| | 18 Oktober 2008 08:59 |
| piasTal av boðum: 8113 | Thank you Tantine |
| | 18 Oktober 2008 12:32 |
| | Hi Lillian and Tantine,
I think I by accident accepted your translation Lillian, but I actually think Tantine's is more in line with the original. Lillian yours is an interpretation rather than a translation. But a very good interpretation.
Tantine, I don't get your second line "Die if it goes it"... Do you perhaps mean "Die if it takes it". And should "Dead" in the last line not be "Dying" or "Death" in stead as it is about the process of dying, which are nouns, while dead is an adjective?
I really appreciate your translations, both of your, but they are not all right yet.
Hug x 2 from Sismo (Stinne) |
| | 18 Oktober 2008 12:45 |
| | Sismo, when it comes to songs and poetry, the best solution is often not the literal one but the one that conveys the "spirit" and poetic form of the original. For this reason, I personally think Lilian's version by far is the best.
If you are only looking for a literal translation, then the correct wording is this:
Fight for everything you hold dear
Die if you must
Then life will not be so hard
Neither will Death.
However, as I said, in my opinion, Lilian's version is more in tune with the "spirit" of the song :-) But I guess you can´t argue taste.
PS: the version you say you think is more in line with the original is not Tantine's but Gamine's.
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| | 18 Oktober 2008 15:36 |
| | Hi sismo,
We can't make our translators waste their time and energy and simply reject their work. If what you wanted was a literal translation, here (in the remarks) you have it, done by a Danish expert.
If what you want is a poetic version, you also have it there done by an English expert. So, I think you may be satisfied.
Both versions are accepted. |
| | 18 Oktober 2008 21:19 |
| | Hi Sismo
I think you are talking about gamine's translation, and not mine, which I hadn't posted, since I thought Lilly's would "do the trick".
I came up with this version
Fight for all that you hold dear
Give for them your last breath
Thus, of life, you will not fear
Nor will you of Death.
Bises
Tantine
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| | 19 Oktober 2008 13:47 |
| | OK, sismo,
This accepted translation is Tantine's version. She is a British English native speaker and a poet. The best you can get. If you are still unsatisfied with the result, I'm really sorry. That's the best we can offer. |
| | 7 Februar 2010 18:08 |
| | Sorry, I never got back to answering about this translation. I have for a long long period not been much on the internet.
I am VERY SATISFIED with the final translation of the Danish song into English - I am HAPPY that it was possible to rhyme in English too - WONDERFUL.
Thanx and HUGS to all of you for your efforts!!! |