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Hi Gamine

I'll be happy to help you out on this one

I'm sure we can make stuff rhyme as in the original.

Let me know if you want us to have a try together.

Bises
Tantine

Hi, Tantine. Sure I'd like your help. I knew I'd need some help and if you can think we can make it rhyme, it would be just wonderful.

Hi Tantine. Need a bit rest now. Will be back this evening and then I'll try to find a way to change Joe Dassin's song, but too tired right away. See you later on thanks for your proposal. I tried to stay as close as possible to the Frenh version, but knew I'd would need some help.

Ok Gamine

Sweet Dreams

Fais de beaux rêves

Bises
Tantine

Hi Tantine; Have tried a few things, but not sure of all if I keep the meaning and s.o., but you'll let me know. Haven't done all, impossible. well, no use speaking more, here it goes:

"You said to me you had a date
in a cellar with some folks a bit dazed"

So I went with you
we were singing, we were dancing
didn't even think of kissing"

" Last night, two unknowns
This morning to lovers went along
?????????????????????????????????
on the Avenuee".

I know it's weird, but I have tried, but I'm not good enough, that's all!!

Please let me have an honest answer. Il n'y à que la vérité qui blesse, mais je connais mes limites.

Hi Gamine

Show me some of your versions, maybe you have only taken the poetic licence necessary for translating rhyme.

I worked one through this afternoon:

"You had a date, you told me that
In a basement with some crazy cats
Who live with their guitar between their paws
From dark till dawn
So along I went with you
We sang and we danced too
And we didn't even think of a kiss or two.

Last night, we were strangers, we two
And this morning, on the avenue
Two persons in love, dazzled by
The long, long night
From l'Etoile to La Concorde
An orchestra composed of a thousand of cords,
All the birds, as daybreak comes
Are singing love"

I based myself on your version and tried to work the rhymes directly, so as not to take too much poetic licence.

Bises
Tantine

Hi Tantine. You are really an artist. How do you want me to make better than that. Actually, you have taken more freedom, that I supposed I was allowed to. You know, if someone reads the English, I've have got used to people saying : " you dont use the right word - how can I translate , using the English version. It's doesn't convey the same meaning ans so on. Yours is just great and very poetic. I'd like you to reject mine and put yours at the place, what else can I say. I was just trying to make the sentenses rhyme and didn't even think about something like yours. But, dont worry, I'll be back again for another one, because deep inside me I'm sure I can do it. But, if I have another English expert than you to evaluate, she'll just reject it. Let me hear, I still have ear.

TANTINE.I won't stay long. Very tired at the moment. My head is turning round and round. Have a problem with my inner ears and the pills I take make me dizzy. I cant really concentrate anymore and you have so much to do. Thanks for your kind help and thanks for being the person you are. Don't be angry at me, but at the moment I can't do more than I'm doing. Bon courage pour tes traductions. Lene.

Hi Gamine

You are doing a great job, and I would have accepted your version outright if you had not asked for an expert to try and smooth it out.

I am sure that you will try another one, you love translating and you are good at it

Sorry to hear you are not too well. I hope your inner ear will be better soon.

I won't reject your translation, I'll just edit it with mine since your original was the "skeleton" I worked on

Fais de beaux rêves

Bises
Tantine

Hi Tantine. Yes I think it's a good idea to use yours and please edit and validate it with your name.
But , as I told you, I'll be back again, when I feel better,. In the meantime, I'm just doing the minimum and trying to rest as much as possible. Thanks for your understanding. I really do think you are a very nice person, an good expert,. Actually, I was lucky that it was you who evaluated it. Hug.