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Umseting - My darling, we have been together ... (Enskt)

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16 November 2011 11:04  

RedShadow
Tal av boðum: 143
Hello!

Ive got a few comments.

Why not use "I am thinking about you" instead? I just red that using 'about' gives more deep to the thought than 'to' that is just a quick consideration of the stuff.

Also I'd use the present tense there as this would give an "everyday" event, like she thinks about him all the time instead of just right now --> "I think about you and I miss you!"

And finally, I think that "to put a ring on my finger" sounds like 'brutal' or too 'common'; the french for 'enfiler' gives a sense of movement, like the ring slowly slides on the finger to its right place. It feels gentler. I'd say "to slide the ring on my finger" sounds better!

Please discuss all of this as I'm not a native speaker.

Cya.

 

15 November 2011 21:01  

lilian canale
Tal av boðum: 14972
Hi Minny,

Besides those suggestions RedShadow has given, I'd also point out:

for three short months we are now together ---> we have been together for just three months

What do you think?
 

16 November 2011 13:09  

Francky5591
Tal av boðum: 12396
cela fait maintenant trois petits mois que nous sommes ensemble : "It's now been three short months we are together"
 

16 November 2011 14:21  

RedShadow
Tal av boðum: 143
Agreed, the 'just three months' makes me feel it's kinda not enough for her, like she is doubdful or so.

Removing the 'just' as Francky did give the feel that those 3 months are more than enough for her.

 

16 November 2011 15:13  

lilian canale
Tal av boðum: 14972
"three short months" doesn't sound right in English since the only 'short month' is February.
I'd remove that 'petits' from the line then.
 

16 November 2011 15:57  

RedShadow
Tal av boðum: 143
Yes, in that case why not use "only 3 months" or something like "only 3 quick months"?

'petit mois' here means it was super fast for her right? Because she was happy.

Removing this 'petit' changes the fact that might not have been so happy during that time

I like this little kinda detail
 

16 November 2011 16:06  

Minny
Tal av boðum: 271
I too like the fineness and that is why I suggest that we call in Germine (Lene from F). Is that technically possible ? If Germine could let me know her tanslation into Danish of "trois petits mois" in this context, then we migh find a good English translation.
 

16 November 2011 16:18  

lilian canale
Tal av boðum: 14972
Lene?

CC: gamine
 

17 November 2011 09:56  

RedShadow
Tal av boðum: 143
uuhh Im not sure I follow here. This was a Danish text written by Germine/Lene, and then it got translated to French, is that right?
 

16 November 2011 18:07  

lilian canale
Tal av boðum: 14972
No,...I'll try to explain the kind of help Minny is asking from Gamine here.
Both are Danish native speakers. Gamine is an assistant expert for French, the language of the request, therefore through a version in Danish (a sort of bridge) they may find the most accurate translation into English.

I hope you understand now.

Fortunately, Cucumis.org has many "tools" (very capable volunteers) to solve these kind of language issue and give our users the best.
 

17 November 2011 04:09  

gamine
Tal av boðum: 4611
Hello everybody. Sorry to be late. Have been very busy the last weeks.

Minny, in Danish I would say: 'Vi har nu været sammen i 3 små måneder/kun været sammen.........'
and I think we could translate it this way: "We have been together now for 3 months.' The French words: 'trois petits mois ' are rather dificult to translate here and I think we don't need the word 'petits'. What do you think Franck? It's a word used here concerning the love of the woman
and I think you may agree with me.
Let me here what you all think!!!

CC: lilian canale
 

17 November 2011 10:23  

Minny
Tal av boðum: 271
Hi Gamine, Hi Francky
Thanks a lot for your help, dear Gamine!
"Små"is short and "kun" only.
Unless this "petits" really has a greater meaning I also think we should just forget the word.
If you could give us a pseudonym or an explantion that might also help us.
May be "trois petits mois" is just a figure of speech!?
 

17 November 2011 11:29  

RedShadow
Tal av boðum: 143
Yes that is how I feel about it. "trois petits mois" is more a figure of speech to enhance the way she feels about them.

I think she was so happy that she didn't see those months as long and boring.
It shows how naive and innocent she is. Removing this 'petit' would remove her girlish, cute behavior

My point of view here is that 'petit' is the same as in 'a petite woman'; that she is all cute and delicate, precious.
That's how I feel about it xD
 

17 November 2011 13:08  

itsatrap100
Tal av boðum: 279
Hi,

.. just a note, in the final sentence of the trans. two sentences are spliced together and a word is missing, but the main meaning is certainly retained.
 

17 November 2011 15:48  

gamine
Tal av boðum: 4611
Agree with RedShadow when she says: '"trois petits mois" is more a figure of speech to enhance the way she feels about them.'

And itsatrap 100 is right concerning the last sentence. If we want to be completely in accordance with the requester we need two sentences.
'I am filled with joy being together with you. I am looking forward for you to slide the ring on my finger.' But I do find Minny's version better. More fluent. And the meaning is asolutely the same.

CC: itsatrap100 RedShadow lilian canale
 

17 November 2011 16:26  

RedShadow
Tal av boðum: 143
Right, and BTW I'm a guy... well nevermind

But it didn't bother me that the two last sentences were merged into one though. As you said, it sounds better.

As for this 'petit' problem, maybe I'd change the meaning to something like:
- sweet
- pleasurable
- fine
- priceless
...but I feel it should also be both short and enjoyable.

Like, "we have been only together for those 3 sweet months"

 

17 November 2011 16:59  

gamine
Tal av boðum: 4611
Hello RedShadow. Sorry, I didn't know you were a guy.
One extra kiss.
Well, at least what I an say about you, is that when you have something on your mind,you do not give up.
Do you really think we need something more? No doubt, you are a really translater trying to find the best translation, but how can we know exactly what the requester wanted to say? I think we have found a good translation now and that we do not need anything else.
What about you, Minny? Do yu like it the way it is now.
A pleasure to know you better RedShadow, even if you are a boy


CC: RedShadow itsatrap100 lilian canale
 

17 November 2011 17:12  

RedShadow
Tal av boðum: 143
Sure, I do like this translation as it is right now. It is more than enough.
And yes we can't be sure about what the requester thought at the time. I'm probably trying too hard.

Thank you all!

 

17 November 2011 17:50  

lilian canale
Tal av boðum: 14972
OK, then I'll make the last edits and accept the translation:

just ---> only

Also I'll split the last line into:

"I am filled with joy being together with you! I look forward to the moment when you'll slide the ring on my finger."

That is more suitable since the idiom is:
"to look forward to sth" or "to look forward to doing sth"

 

17 November 2011 21:56  

itsatrap100
Tal av boðum: 279
Hi,

The word "impatiemment" <eagerly> is still missing from the 2nd sentence, but if you want to approve it..
 
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